A Day in the Life
First, guess what the mailman brought me today! My two copies of CHURCHED. One for me and one for one of you. I plan to start reading as soon as I finish this post, but I suspect the usual evening reading routing will probably ensue. (And this is no reflection on the author). I will start to read, snuggle under the covers a bit more, get rather cozy and start to really fight nodding off, but the inevitable happens and before I know it there is drool dripping out the side of my mouth and I am about two pages further along than where I last left off.
It is getting brisk at night; the best kind of sleeping weather. The window is open a crack and lets just enough of the cool fall night air in to make snuggling into the covers a wonderful simple pleasure.
But there was another simple pleasure I didn't write about yesterday; Matt came home for the day. Carolyn also came, she from NJ and he from Ithaca. We are smack dab half way for both of them, so I made out the winner in getting to see them both just for a little bit.
Matt stayed over night and slept in. I really, really wanted to take a picture of him curled up in his bed with his fifteen year old cat, Sprinkles, but I respected his space.
He is doing an internship this fall in Ithaca with an organization called Primitive Pursuits. He had mentioned that he was hoping to get up and out between 6 and 6:30, so I went down just to say hey, it's now 6:36, whatever. Turns out his alarm didn't go off. But now here is the amazing part. He didn't get belligerent. It is one of the world's greatest understatements to say that he is not a morning person. He picked up his cell phone and text messaged the folks at PP that he would be getting off to a later start. And here is the other amazing part. I didn't respond with a control freak anxiety attack of "He's got to get out of here!" I finally seemed to get it that he could decide when to get up, when to leave, how to communicate with them and how to get his hours in for the week, and that he could make those choices, and I did not need to be anxious for anything. (I think he finally left around 1:30).
It also just so happened that the orthopedic surgeon called back last night and was able to talk to me and also to Matt about the MRI results and plan. He will need arthroscopic surgery with ligament repair. It looks like two ligaments are torn, and that procedure will result in a four to six week recoup with a cast. I was bracing myself for the fallout of this and its impact on his tentative hope to head back West for more snowboarding this winter. Well, he actually spoke about having the surgery right after his semester ends, hanging around and not going out West at all, but looking into working at a place in NJ that offers programs for troubled urban youth. He also remarked that it made sense because Carolyn is working in film in the NY NJ area and it was a different type of solution to the issue of where they could both find work in their field. For a long time he was solely focused on working at a CO resort. But $9 hour no benefits only goes so far...We talked about opportunities presenting themselves in the most unusual situations. So that the need for surgery could be closing one door, but opening another that he may never have noticed.
I was very proud of him. There was no emotional volatility...and a pragmatic outlook to the matters at hand: finishing school, managing his time, being with Carolyn, gaining employment and scheduling surgery. Is this maturity? I hope so. Seems to me it kicked in with Chris at about 24...
So I hope it lasts. Instead of feeling my anxiety skyrocket when I saw Matt in bed when he had somewhere else he needed to be (the story of his junior year in HS) I felt a sense of total relief that it was not my responsibility. And that was very freeing.
It is getting brisk at night; the best kind of sleeping weather. The window is open a crack and lets just enough of the cool fall night air in to make snuggling into the covers a wonderful simple pleasure.
But there was another simple pleasure I didn't write about yesterday; Matt came home for the day. Carolyn also came, she from NJ and he from Ithaca. We are smack dab half way for both of them, so I made out the winner in getting to see them both just for a little bit.
Matt stayed over night and slept in. I really, really wanted to take a picture of him curled up in his bed with his fifteen year old cat, Sprinkles, but I respected his space.
He is doing an internship this fall in Ithaca with an organization called Primitive Pursuits. He had mentioned that he was hoping to get up and out between 6 and 6:30, so I went down just to say hey, it's now 6:36, whatever. Turns out his alarm didn't go off. But now here is the amazing part. He didn't get belligerent. It is one of the world's greatest understatements to say that he is not a morning person. He picked up his cell phone and text messaged the folks at PP that he would be getting off to a later start. And here is the other amazing part. I didn't respond with a control freak anxiety attack of "He's got to get out of here!" I finally seemed to get it that he could decide when to get up, when to leave, how to communicate with them and how to get his hours in for the week, and that he could make those choices, and I did not need to be anxious for anything. (I think he finally left around 1:30).
It also just so happened that the orthopedic surgeon called back last night and was able to talk to me and also to Matt about the MRI results and plan. He will need arthroscopic surgery with ligament repair. It looks like two ligaments are torn, and that procedure will result in a four to six week recoup with a cast. I was bracing myself for the fallout of this and its impact on his tentative hope to head back West for more snowboarding this winter. Well, he actually spoke about having the surgery right after his semester ends, hanging around and not going out West at all, but looking into working at a place in NJ that offers programs for troubled urban youth. He also remarked that it made sense because Carolyn is working in film in the NY NJ area and it was a different type of solution to the issue of where they could both find work in their field. For a long time he was solely focused on working at a CO resort. But $9 hour no benefits only goes so far...We talked about opportunities presenting themselves in the most unusual situations. So that the need for surgery could be closing one door, but opening another that he may never have noticed.
I was very proud of him. There was no emotional volatility...and a pragmatic outlook to the matters at hand: finishing school, managing his time, being with Carolyn, gaining employment and scheduling surgery. Is this maturity? I hope so. Seems to me it kicked in with Chris at about 24...
So I hope it lasts. Instead of feeling my anxiety skyrocket when I saw Matt in bed when he had somewhere else he needed to be (the story of his junior year in HS) I felt a sense of total relief that it was not my responsibility. And that was very freeing.
posted by www.kathypride.com at
9:32 PM
1 Comments:
Good for you and letting go. Good for Matt for being so grown-up. Isn't it hard letting them go? I still want to "save" everybody but really I can only do that for Simone now. Although I do confess to just having saved Gregory, who was being threatened with eviction from his dorm. His financial aide is being held up because they seem to lack his proof of immunization. So I called the doctor and asked them to fax it to the person at NAU who needed it. I don't understand what Gregory's health or health history has to do with US taking out a loan, but whatever..... We certainly didn't go through this for Josh and Ben's loans.
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