Busted by Nicole...
Yesterday I was busted by Nicole in my purge and prune efforts. And here's the progress. We both handled it with much grace.
We went to HUF (Hand Up Foundation) to drop off an entire car load of recycling, mine plus a friend's. It was alarming to see how much waste just two families generated in a relatively short period of time, I think it may have only been a couple of weeks. And my friend didn't even include paper...
After we dropped off the recycling we went upstairs to shop for a skirt for Tianna, who has a manners mixer on Monday. She doesn't own a skirt...and we didn't find one at HUF either.
What we, no excuse me, Nicole did find, however were three items that I had previously purged from our home that she wasn't ready to part with but probably wouldn't have missed had she not come nose to nose with them. Ugh. Busted.
So what did I do? Since I had barrelled on ahead and disposed of her stuff without permission (I violated her boundaries) I did what any unreasonably reasonable mother would do and bought them back. No fighting, no arguing, a simple apology and acknowledgment that I had crossed the line.
What line have you crossed lately?
We went to HUF (Hand Up Foundation) to drop off an entire car load of recycling, mine plus a friend's. It was alarming to see how much waste just two families generated in a relatively short period of time, I think it may have only been a couple of weeks. And my friend didn't even include paper...
After we dropped off the recycling we went upstairs to shop for a skirt for Tianna, who has a manners mixer on Monday. She doesn't own a skirt...and we didn't find one at HUF either.
What we, no excuse me, Nicole did find, however were three items that I had previously purged from our home that she wasn't ready to part with but probably wouldn't have missed had she not come nose to nose with them. Ugh. Busted.
So what did I do? Since I had barrelled on ahead and disposed of her stuff without permission (I violated her boundaries) I did what any unreasonably reasonable mother would do and bought them back. No fighting, no arguing, a simple apology and acknowledgment that I had crossed the line.
What line have you crossed lately?
Labels: Boundaries, cleaning house, HUF, making peace, recycling
posted by www.kathypride.com at
8:17 AM
3 Comments:
Kathy,
It was good to see you yesterday at Janis' tea.
I can relate to this. I've gotten rid of things sometimes that the kids weren't ready to get rid of, either by talking them into it or by taking it when they weren't around (this was when they were younger, now they make the decisions themselves).
LuAnn
I think I finally have gotten it through my thick skull that I am crossing way too many boundaries when I go on my purging sprees with other people's things without permission. Even with some of the things that clutter bug predominant wisdome would suggest you get rid of...i.e. things you haven't used in years. SO why would I keep the bagel cutter contraption thing? Who knew that after all those years of non-use Tianna would become a bagel nosher? When Howie asked where it was I mumbled something...he is always accusing me (apparently rightly so) of getting rid of things, and I just couldn't fess up.
it's a fine line. My mom did as you do. She moved stuff out when it went through the laundry or when I was not home. I still have dreams where I am looking for my doll or my favorite skirt. So I refused to do that. You know what happened? My daughter literally had a foot fo clothes on her bedroom floor when she got married. We gave her 2 months after she got married to clean her room or we would do it. Yes, I actually called my newly married daughter and told her to come home and clean her room!!!
I ended up doing it and she was ever so thankful. She was just not ready to throw away her "girlhood" (she was almost 20 when she got married...). Later she thanked me. It was hard for me to do too, and I cried at the little girl become woman as I cleaned her room. I found some great stuff too. One of the things that has not changed...when her grandma came and helped her paint her room (sponged in 3 colors), she wrote a love note by the window. Needless to say, we have not repainted the walls, and probably won't for a very long time!!--if ever. I'm thinking I would rather rip off the wallboard and frame it for my daughter than paint over it!!
With our son, though, we encourage him to give toys away to friends or needy kids, and that helps.
Maybe he will have a niece or nephew someday who will inherit his train sets!! One place we take toys to is the church nursery, or friends with grandkids.
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