Party Reflections

I think I might be experiencing a small touch of writer's block...or maybe it is just fatigue. Twice last night I started to post and fell asleep both times. OK, so I was in a comfy position propped up with pillows all around me and it was on the later side, a setting more conducive to nodding off.

I have been giving some thought to the birthday bash we had here Saturday. We left everything pretty much up to Tianna and some learning opportunities have come out of the experience. That's a kinder gentler way of saying maybe we made a couple of mistakes.

I was amazed at the number of kids, now these are twelve year olds...yes, decidedly pre-teen and going on 17, who had cell phones and texted away, maybe even to each other while they were at the party. That is what the above group of four spent a fair amount of time doing.

• Would it be unreasonable to ban cell phones? Presumable they are coming to hang out with the birthday girl (or boy) and instead they are texting away. What if they are texting someone who wasn't invited and their feelings are hurt?

We left the invitation list totally up to Tianna. She has transitioned to the Middle School and apparently has a pretty wide circle of new friends. I want to welcome her friends into my home, and have no problem doing so when I am home. Anyway, I want to get to know her friends. It will be very important over the next few years.

• I wasn't always impressed with what I saw and heard, despite the weird, awkward water testing age. But I do know there were a couple of old friends that weren't included, and while I felt I needed to let go of the fact that it wasn't my party, I was sad that they might have been hurt. I did bring it up for discussion, kindness is a quality I value and want to nurture in my children.

News travels fast. Well, that hasn't changed. I had an uncomfortable experience of deja vu. Years ago Howie and I and the girls, (or maybe it was even before Nicole was born, but I don't think so), went to Banff for one of his meetings. We asked Chris who was home from college that summer to feed the animals, etc. Well, it wasn't long before the word got around that the parents were away and our house became a playground. Word gets out.

• Well, the word got out this time on a smaller scale, but one that still had repercussions. One girl announced that all the girls were invited to sleepover. We told her she could have four. Eleven ended up not wanting to budge. There was a high drama melt down and a lot of "she said, she said" nonsense. Pre-adult female cattiness at its worst. I gathered them all up and gave them an ultimatum. Be kind, stop the nasty chatter, or go home. It worked out.
  

There were delightful moments of friendship but had the group been smaller there would have been more. Tianna is in the middle.

Next year we will be having a small gathering.

My hat does go off to Howie who spent a lot of time planning challenges for the kids to complete in teams and while that lasted, it was great. But he started before we had the pizza (a mistake) so that when we took a break to eat, they never really got back into the competition of it.

The most fun were the spontaneous eruptions of games, like touch football with Chris (oldest brother) serving as the QB in the yard, but only about ten (out of 28) played.

• I'm glad we responded to her desire to have a transitional party for her 12th birthday and first year in the Middle School, but I think it will be the last.