Simplify
The crusade to simplify my life continues.
Today's focus was on making sure I had enough margin in my day. I started out quietly and alone, and am finishing it quietly and alone, with God and my thoughts.
I woke up early and Howie had set the coffee to go off last night. This is a huge gift to me. To wake up and have the coffee already brewed (which almost happened...the clock was set correctly, except it was on pm not am...) is a huge gift. But I didn't have to wait long, and I retreated back to bed with my Bible and a couple of books. I am reading one on the Spiritual Disciplines, and coincidentally enough, the chapter is on simplicity.
I began my day in quiet, peace and order, which sustains the quiet sense of resolve I have adopted. Resolve not to be hurt, not to hurt, and not to be manipulated, whether that is the intent or not.
More of a painful story continues to be woven; I trust the purposes and lessons that this time holds for me.
I went back to work today. This is also a mostly solitary undertaking, and I enjoy that. It comes as no coincidence or surprise that I find myself working in long term care settings. I did call the neuropsychology department at the hospital today to see if there was any inkling at all as to how long my mom would need to wait for her evaluation appointment. I will be driving to NYC next Wednesday to go to a dinner with my dad, and she is anxious to go home. There is work to be done! I keep reminding her she has appointments ahead, and if they are not taken care of before next week, then she will need to return for them. She is not pleased about this. In the meantime, she toasted a bagel in the toaster oven without slicing it. Mistake? Confusion? Normal? Who knows. What I do know is that I will be relieved when I get a professional's assessment, regardless of what it reveals.
And Matt. Haven't had much contact with him. He has been out late and sleeping late, not in step with my schedule. I know his original plans were to return to Ithaca tomorrow, after his ortho appointment for his wrist. I hope that plan is still in effect. I am anxious, yes, anxious (as opposed to eager, although I am that also) for him to complete his internship hours, which seemed so "in the bag" and are now feeling uncertain to me, so he can move on. I have often remarked that middle aged women (that would be me) and twenty something year old guys don't belong under the same roof. That feels more true now than ever. Our schedules and life choices just don't seem to be in sync. I did write him a letter today so I have shared my piece.
So here I am in the middle of the sandwich of the sandwich generation. Can I at least make it a gourmet selection rather than a slice of generic bologna between two slices of white bread?
Peace.
Today's focus was on making sure I had enough margin in my day. I started out quietly and alone, and am finishing it quietly and alone, with God and my thoughts.
I woke up early and Howie had set the coffee to go off last night. This is a huge gift to me. To wake up and have the coffee already brewed (which almost happened...the clock was set correctly, except it was on pm not am...) is a huge gift. But I didn't have to wait long, and I retreated back to bed with my Bible and a couple of books. I am reading one on the Spiritual Disciplines, and coincidentally enough, the chapter is on simplicity.
I began my day in quiet, peace and order, which sustains the quiet sense of resolve I have adopted. Resolve not to be hurt, not to hurt, and not to be manipulated, whether that is the intent or not.
More of a painful story continues to be woven; I trust the purposes and lessons that this time holds for me.
I went back to work today. This is also a mostly solitary undertaking, and I enjoy that. It comes as no coincidence or surprise that I find myself working in long term care settings. I did call the neuropsychology department at the hospital today to see if there was any inkling at all as to how long my mom would need to wait for her evaluation appointment. I will be driving to NYC next Wednesday to go to a dinner with my dad, and she is anxious to go home. There is work to be done! I keep reminding her she has appointments ahead, and if they are not taken care of before next week, then she will need to return for them. She is not pleased about this. In the meantime, she toasted a bagel in the toaster oven without slicing it. Mistake? Confusion? Normal? Who knows. What I do know is that I will be relieved when I get a professional's assessment, regardless of what it reveals.
And Matt. Haven't had much contact with him. He has been out late and sleeping late, not in step with my schedule. I know his original plans were to return to Ithaca tomorrow, after his ortho appointment for his wrist. I hope that plan is still in effect. I am anxious, yes, anxious (as opposed to eager, although I am that also) for him to complete his internship hours, which seemed so "in the bag" and are now feeling uncertain to me, so he can move on. I have often remarked that middle aged women (that would be me) and twenty something year old guys don't belong under the same roof. That feels more true now than ever. Our schedules and life choices just don't seem to be in sync. I did write him a letter today so I have shared my piece.
So here I am in the middle of the sandwich of the sandwich generation. Can I at least make it a gourmet selection rather than a slice of generic bologna between two slices of white bread?
Peace.
Labels: adding margin, Alzheimer's dementia, difficult adult children, sandwich generation, simplifying, Spiritual disciplines
posted by www.kathypride.com at
11:20 PM
2 Comments:
{{{hugs}}}
Oh Kathy,
I'm sad that you have to go through all this, but you know that I understand!
I think we need a spa day at Hershey (I MEAN THAT!). We can have one service and spend the day and have lunch in the Oasis Room (you'll feel like a princess). I promise!
HUGS!
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