Ted Haggard: Walking Humbly or Hypocritically?
I have pretty st rong feelings about Ted Haggard. Here's a clue. They aren't positive. I am not aiming to be judgmental, just honest about my impressions of Ted Haggard which date back to the first impression I had of him. The following is copied from my UndoingChurch Blog which can be read at www.UnDoingChurch.blogspot.com.
I met Ted Haggard a little over two years ago; the day before his story broke. A story he initially denied.I have to admit I didn't know who he was when I met him (President of NAE, among other laudatory titles) but I did immediately know he had "celebrity" status by the way people were falling all over him. It didn't take long to figure out this guy was important.
We were scheduled as guests together on a Christian TV Talk show in Dallas, he to talk about his book, The Jerusalem Diet, me to talk about my book, Winning the Drug War at Home.
The funny thing is I wasn't originally scheduled as a guest for that day, but I formed some pretty strong opinions in my interactions with him.The first was that he definitely leveraged his position. He was a guest on another show across town, and needed to go on first. I was originally slotted in the first position, but it was immediately changed to cater to his schedule, which was fine except that he then went significantly over his time segment and never even said "thank you."
I have a pretty tuned in intuition, and actually just took a personality test that indicated that this is one of my strengths. There was something, well, just kind of "off" about him, not right, just too slick. His smile was plastered on his face as if held there by botox. Slick and fake. Too smooth. Not sincere.
He forgot his Blackberry at the first studio, and when my segment was over, my friend and I drove over to the second studio to return it to him. Again, no "thank you."I did want to ask him a question, though, because I was working on a Bible Study at the time, UnDoing Church, Discovering Faith: Not Your Mother's Bible Study(which will release in July of this year) about being the church, not going to church. In other words, living humbly, following Christ, not living hypocritically, and as a pastor of a church of over 14,000 I was interested in his take on the felt needs of his women congregants.
So I explained the premise of the study and asked how many of the women in his congregation could identify with some of the issues I addressed. His answer floored me then, but even more the next day after his story broke. He said, "I have no idea what women want or are interested in."
He really came up empty. How could a lead pastor of that many people not know what hurts and hurdles were faced by members of his church, even in a broad sense?
And now he is in the news again with more improprietous allegations. I am sad about this and angry.
Angry that someone who was supposed to be representing the church just added to damaging its reputation. Read UnChristian for a take on what those outside the faith think of Christians. Score ten more points for them, thanks to his actions, which were totally out of step with being a Christian. (I am afraid I do sound harsh and unforgiving...)
He denied, he lied, he tried to weasel out of it, and now he is getting more press time to promote his story.
Oh, and did I mention that the church paid an outrageous amount of money to the other individual who came forward as this story was breaking but none of us heard about because part of the deal was to remain silent. Over $175,000. Was this appropriate use of money collected from its members? I don't think I would have voted to approve that spending.Imagine how much clean water and food that could provide in areas of the world hit by disease and famine...
To me the fact that Haggard is out and about touring every major news source timed to perfectly coincide with the release of an HBO story about his fall from grace is sensationalism and taking advantage of his position and an incredible media ploy.
And in my opinion, it will not help the church. He said he was ashamed. Does that condone lying, and trying to get out of allegations?It hasn't always been easy for me to share our story; there are plenty of things that I have felt ashamed about, including my control freak approach to enabled parenting. But I chose to share to try to help others travelling that same road, not to absolve myself of my mistakes, or worse yet deny them. I believe in truth and transparency, even when it costs me, which it has.
But I also believe our God expects nothing less.
I met Ted Haggard a little over two years ago; the day before his story broke. A story he initially denied.I have to admit I didn't know who he was when I met him (President of NAE, among other laudatory titles) but I did immediately know he had "celebrity" status by the way people were falling all over him. It didn't take long to figure out this guy was important.
We were scheduled as guests together on a Christian TV Talk show in Dallas, he to talk about his book, The Jerusalem Diet, me to talk about my book, Winning the Drug War at Home.
The funny thing is I wasn't originally scheduled as a guest for that day, but I formed some pretty strong opinions in my interactions with him.The first was that he definitely leveraged his position. He was a guest on another show across town, and needed to go on first. I was originally slotted in the first position, but it was immediately changed to cater to his schedule, which was fine except that he then went significantly over his time segment and never even said "thank you."
I have a pretty tuned in intuition, and actually just took a personality test that indicated that this is one of my strengths. There was something, well, just kind of "off" about him, not right, just too slick. His smile was plastered on his face as if held there by botox. Slick and fake. Too smooth. Not sincere.
He forgot his Blackberry at the first studio, and when my segment was over, my friend and I drove over to the second studio to return it to him. Again, no "thank you."I did want to ask him a question, though, because I was working on a Bible Study at the time, UnDoing Church, Discovering Faith: Not Your Mother's Bible Study(which will release in July of this year) about being the church, not going to church. In other words, living humbly, following Christ, not living hypocritically, and as a pastor of a church of over 14,000 I was interested in his take on the felt needs of his women congregants.
So I explained the premise of the study and asked how many of the women in his congregation could identify with some of the issues I addressed. His answer floored me then, but even more the next day after his story broke. He said, "I have no idea what women want or are interested in."
He really came up empty. How could a lead pastor of that many people not know what hurts and hurdles were faced by members of his church, even in a broad sense?
And now he is in the news again with more improprietous allegations. I am sad about this and angry.
Angry that someone who was supposed to be representing the church just added to damaging its reputation. Read UnChristian for a take on what those outside the faith think of Christians. Score ten more points for them, thanks to his actions, which were totally out of step with being a Christian. (I am afraid I do sound harsh and unforgiving...)
He denied, he lied, he tried to weasel out of it, and now he is getting more press time to promote his story.
Oh, and did I mention that the church paid an outrageous amount of money to the other individual who came forward as this story was breaking but none of us heard about because part of the deal was to remain silent. Over $175,000. Was this appropriate use of money collected from its members? I don't think I would have voted to approve that spending.Imagine how much clean water and food that could provide in areas of the world hit by disease and famine...
To me the fact that Haggard is out and about touring every major news source timed to perfectly coincide with the release of an HBO story about his fall from grace is sensationalism and taking advantage of his position and an incredible media ploy.
And in my opinion, it will not help the church. He said he was ashamed. Does that condone lying, and trying to get out of allegations?It hasn't always been easy for me to share our story; there are plenty of things that I have felt ashamed about, including my control freak approach to enabled parenting. But I chose to share to try to help others travelling that same road, not to absolve myself of my mistakes, or worse yet deny them. I believe in truth and transparency, even when it costs me, which it has.
But I also believe our God expects nothing less.
Labels: Is Ted Haggard Humble or a Hypocrite, Ted Haggard, UnChristian and Ted Haggard, WIning the Drug War at Home
posted by www.kathypride.com at
8:17 PM
5 Comments:
I saw that interview last night with him on Nightline - yes, I was up way too late. Honestly, that was the first I had ever heard about it all. Maybe I live in a cave or something. Of course, in my defense, I don't remember a lot about the world 2 years ago. March will be the 2 year anniversary of my cancer diagnosis. Seems so long ago.
Anyway, I took from the interview that his documentary was more about how the church "threw him out" instead of his fall. That's the problem with interviews. You only get one side of the story condensed to maybe 5-10 minutes.
One another note. I was going to email you but maybe I will just post it. I was listening to the local christian radio station on my computer at work on Tuesday. The Matter At Hand segment featured Leslie Leyland Fields who wrote "Parenting is your highest calling and 8 other myths that trap us in worry and guilt." The point: We have this unrealistic view of what the ideal parent should be that can even be promoted from the pulpit. But in reality, God went through similar frustrations and trials with his children of Israel, for example. His reactions prove that are reactions are normal.
I too, Shelly, (and Kathy, of course), have never heard of Ted Haggard or this scandal. And yes, I am afraid it is a point for the way those of us who don't go to church view the church. I expect more Ted Haggards in the Christian leadership than not. I am suspicious, I admit.
And to your second point, Shelly, I have just reached the 15 month mark since my cancer diagnosis. I know what you mean about being out of touch with a lot of things. The flip side (and there is always a flip side) is that I have been in closer touch with the people who matter most to me. I have discovered family (cousins, mostly) and connected with them and found out how much they care about me. One of my cousins went through her battle with cancer 10 years ago and another's wife (my cousin by marriage) is going through it right now.
This reconnection started at my father's funeral 18 months ago. It's so different to talk to your cousins as adults. There is a large age gap between me and most of my much older cousins, so when we were kids, we didn't play together or rarely saw each other.
Well, I AM in the church and I am ignorant (blissfully, apparently) of who Ted H. is or what he has done.
Yes, it blackens the eye of the church to nonbelievers (and some believers, too) when the 'mighty' fall. But the reality is that we really are only accountable for our own relationship with God and responding to His love for us, and obeying Him. We are to help our fellow travelers, but except in extreme circumstances, that can only be done on a personal, one-on-one basis.
Woe to us if our disobedience turns someone away from God. But frankly, we are all sinners still. I overeat. I am insenstive and blind to the needs of other WAY too often. I am often too focused on MY life and what I want to accomplish. Anyone looking for fault in me surely would not need to get out his glasses to see it. I can't throw any stones. I think we need to pray for conviction from the Holy Spirit to make us aware of our own shortcomings, and then the humility to let God change us.
Ain't none of us gonna get perfect this side of heaven. In my own experience, God encourages me to grow in areas that I excel, but usually gently prunes the rest. Sometimes that hurts and does not feel gentle; but even pulling a hangnail hurts a lot if it's infected.
I know you already know all this. Just refocusing. God can be angry at Ted H. We have much better things to do with our energy. Right?
The whole time I was writing my commentary thoughts like "why are you pointing out the plank, girlfriend, when there are plenty of splinters you could be tweezing?" were going through my head.
And my emotions are more confused disappointment and grief, similar to what I felt when Focus decided we wouldn't be a good team.
My aim is not to be judgemental, just always one to speak my mind :)
But absolutely, focus, focus, focus. And for me that focus is on being tender with those I love. My mom, Howie, Nicole, Matt and Tianna and Chris, who don't make headlines as often, but just the same need my love and tenderness while they play (perhaps) the role of the other brother in the story of the prodigal.
I often run in local races. For a lot of years, it was my goal not to be last. I no longer usually come in near the end, but I know what it's like to be there.
Clearly, I am no threat to those who are truly "competetive". But I often hear coaches telling the truly competetive runners "Run YOUR race." Everyone has a different style and a different gift. Personally, I am a plugger with a kick. If I go out fast, I will fizzle, perhaps not finish; but if I go out slow, i can pick up the pace throughout the race and finish strong. So if I had a coach, and IF I were truly competetive, my coach would be putting blinders on me for the first fourth of the race so I would not be tempted to run fast with the others.
I think our growth and development in this life is much like running a race. There is only one "winner". But our goal is not to win, just to finish. Success is not crossing the finish line first, but participating in the race and crossing the finish line period. When we start looking around at how others are running their races, we lose sight of "our" race and we often forget to listen to "our" coach.
There are times in our "race" when we need to help other runners, with an encouraging word, a drink of water, companionship for a while, whatever...but for the most part, we need to run with the blinders on.
I'm reminded of the story of the Special Olypmics race in which one runner tripped and fell, and the other runners went back to help him/her up and they all finished the race together, crossing the finish line arm in arm.
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