Back in the Saddle...
I love being home. It is a total and complete mess, and for once in my life I don't care. That's one of the gems of crisis, I suppose, it really jolts the behoosies out of you and all the things you say are important really become important.
I took my mom to my wonderful counselor today; I don't think she would have gone if she hadn't come to the retreat with me (the counselor was the retreat speaker) and been able to hear her and meet her and feel her caring. It did her soul good but she doesn't seem to grasp that grief is a long process and that she has so much past bitterness and regret she is holding on to that this isn't a magic potion...one step at a time...it was almost like, "OK, I went, all done, now I will be better..." the concept that grief is an ongoing process and one that is fluid isn't sticking. I hate to ask for patience because nothing calm ever comes about when I do...but I do need lots of it...
OK, enough of that.
One of the things they had us do at the retreat this weekend was have a silent meal. I understand the principal, but let's just say it wasn't my favorite activity...but I did follow the rules...Connie and I are going to plan our Diva Days of Celebrating Friendship and we have already come to the conclusion that if there are any rules at all then they MUST be broken! Fun, fun, fun...and breaking rules...No wonder I have a tendency to get myself into trouble...
The day ahead promises to be full. A trip to NYC to take care of some things while loving those I love passionately.
Peace.
I took my mom to my wonderful counselor today; I don't think she would have gone if she hadn't come to the retreat with me (the counselor was the retreat speaker) and been able to hear her and meet her and feel her caring. It did her soul good but she doesn't seem to grasp that grief is a long process and that she has so much past bitterness and regret she is holding on to that this isn't a magic potion...one step at a time...it was almost like, "OK, I went, all done, now I will be better..." the concept that grief is an ongoing process and one that is fluid isn't sticking. I hate to ask for patience because nothing calm ever comes about when I do...but I do need lots of it...
OK, enough of that.
One of the things they had us do at the retreat this weekend was have a silent meal. I understand the principal, but let's just say it wasn't my favorite activity...but I did follow the rules...Connie and I are going to plan our Diva Days of Celebrating Friendship and we have already come to the conclusion that if there are any rules at all then they MUST be broken! Fun, fun, fun...and breaking rules...No wonder I have a tendency to get myself into trouble...
The day ahead promises to be full. A trip to NYC to take care of some things while loving those I love passionately.
Peace.
Labels: acknowledging grief, counseling, rules
posted by www.kathypride.com at
6:53 AM
2 Comments:
Let's make a joyful noise next time we're asked to be SILENT during a retreat! How about it Sister? You know that wasn't my favorite part and brought back painful memories of being sent to my room for being "bad." Or worse yet, being singled out in class for talking (imagine that?). I'm sorry, but I don't do QUIET easily! By myself, in my prayer chair--"yes"--but at a ladies retreat...no way!
Great retreat and I LOVE your mom. She's so precious!!!! Yes, grief is a process and just when we think you're done grieving, then comes a certain song, an event, or word and it all comes flooding back in. Time is the great healer; it becomes easier but never completely goes away. First it's a huge boulder, then a rock, a pebble, then grains of sand in your shoe. You're aware of its presence, but it doesn't stop you from going forward!
HUGS!
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