More Sadness
Today I received more sad news. I learned that one of my regular readers' daughters lost her baby at 24 weeks.
Please pray for this family. I don't want to step into sharing their story, so will make my comments here brief. But I would like to reach out and have us all extend love, care and uplifting prayer to them.
They had gone for an ultrasound and discovered complications which were unexpected and ominous; today when they returned the heartbeat was no more, and induction and delivery were ahead.
This is tragic. And my heart aches.
Share love and joy always as you have opportunity. Live a life as fully without regrets as possible, and always fortify yourself with the knowledge that you love and pursue truth and justice passionately.
Peace.
Please pray for this family. I don't want to step into sharing their story, so will make my comments here brief. But I would like to reach out and have us all extend love, care and uplifting prayer to them.
They had gone for an ultrasound and discovered complications which were unexpected and ominous; today when they returned the heartbeat was no more, and induction and delivery were ahead.
This is tragic. And my heart aches.
Share love and joy always as you have opportunity. Live a life as fully without regrets as possible, and always fortify yourself with the knowledge that you love and pursue truth and justice passionately.
Peace.
Labels: mourning, pregnancy loss, sadness, stillbirth
posted by www.kathypride.com at
10:57 PM
1 Comments:
So far, the family is doing very well. Larua (the mom) is such an incredibly strong and brave lady, and we are gaining respect for her husband Justin by the moment, as he takes tender care of our daughter!!
Of course, the hormones have not hit yet, and the milk has not come in. There are hard times ahead. But they are planning to finish the nursery and furnish it, in hope of more children. Please pray for easy fertility for them!! (The last pregnancy came as she was about to give up and the doctors told her there was little hope.)
The family is so strong and the sense of thankfulness and peace has been INCREDIBLE! There are moments, like the lady playing with her little 6-month-old in church this morning...realizing that I would never get to be seen by Nadia... And in August, when Nadia was expected, as Laura's other friends have their babies, it will be a very hard time for Laura...
As with your father, there are so many stories here. I am encouraging her to write it all down...you can see that she can write, amazingly! (wonder where she got that gene?).
Do you mind if I share a few poignant scenes from the past few days?
Laura and Justin surrounded themselves during this time with family and friends, even in the hospital room, when Laura was in labor, they welcomed visitors to console and comfort and cry with them.
Laura had brought Nadia's incredibly soft white baby blanket to the hospital (well, actually, to the doctor visit in the morning!), as even though Nadia would not be born alive, she wanted to wrap her in it. (when Justin took me home for a few hours Friday afternoon, I held that blanket and sobbed into it.)
They had trouble controlling the pain for Laura and when the switched her from fentanyl to dilaudid, and her pain was controlled to the point she could breathe again, early friday evening, she asked Justin for the blanket. She held that blanket to her face and started sobbing, quietly at first, and then unabashedly, gasping for air. Justin stood beside her, bending over her, holding her head next to his shoulder. Her friend Anna, who had last a baby earlier this year, stood at her feet. Her sister-in-law, Brittany, held her hand. Justin's mom, Susie, and I stood a little further off. But let me tell you, everyone in the room was sobbing with Laura. It reminded me of the wailing the Jews do when they mourn, only it was quiet, and real, and so tangible. The thought of my baby clutching that little blanket and sobbing into it still brings tears to my eyes. But it was so necessary. I was so glad to see her finally let it out. And we all cried with her....
Another image that I will hold in my heart forever is that of Justin's grandpa, Stu. He is a very successful businessman. He is king of his dominion. He is well respected, wise, kind, and very much in control. This is the first death of a child on Justin's side of the family. Stu did not opt to come during any of the labor. His wife, Judy, had said that he opted out of holding or seeing Nadia as well, afraid that he would lose it emotionally. But when Judy returned after Nadia was born, to hold her and admire her, and say goodbye to her, Stu came too. And as Laura and Justin held Nadia, Stu stood there, strong and powerful, not sobbing, but red-faced, tears streaming down his face. It felt to me as if the king had come into the room and was crying. It was incredibly potent.
Finally, after everyone had had a chance to hold and look at Nadia, the nurses took her into a small room connected to the labor room where they unwrapped her, got her footprints for the birth certificate, weighed her and measured her. The women who were there, about half a dozen or so, crowded in the doorway and melted into the little room to watch it all. I was reminded of how a herd of cows will encircle a cow giving birth out in the pasture, partly for protection, partly out of estrogenic desire and curiosity.
A friend of Laura's said that as soon as she held Nadia, she fell in love with her, deeply, unexpectedly. I realize that this may seem perhaps morbid to some; but the truth is, we all loved Nadia before we ever saw her. And we wanted to hold her and say goodbye to her and tell her we loved her....She was unexpectedly beautiful to me. I don't know what I was expecting really, certainly not to be filled with wonder and awe and compassion. I know that when the nurse handed her to me and I saw her little face for the first time, her mouth wide open like a baby sound asleep, I gasped and said, "She's so beautiful!" And everyone who held her, carried her tenderly, touched her softly, held her like a newborn, as if she could be damaged. It was really and awesome time...not nearly so sad as I expected...I think we had grieved already a lot...And a friend a church this morning said to me, "Congratulations on the birth of your granddaughter." And I knew exactly what she meant. I had been longing to hold her. And I'm so thankful that Laura had the generosity and willingness to let us mourn with her and sob with her and admire her beautiful baby with her...
Share life!!! It's so much easier to walk these hard paths with people who understand what you are feeling!!
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