Rays of Light, Rays of Hope

For today, a simple post. I was driving to drop my daughter off at a friend's house, and noticed the rays of sunshine peeking out at me from behind the clouds. I have a soft spot in my heart and soul for rays of sunlight just like these that emerge from behind the darkness. It is as if God is reaching down to let me know that whatever my desert experiences, it will be OK. No matter what pain, heartache, or absurd stupidity (like the fact that Little League won't accept our older daughter's birth certificate, ORIGINAL birth certificate at that...because it was issued more than a year after her birth date...well, duh, she was born in Vietnam half way around the world, and our wonderful US Government simply doesn't work that fast. Heck I can't ever get a real voice on the phone when I call Government offices...more on that later) the sunshine touches me with God's grace.
It is as if he is smiling down on me in reassurance and reminders that He will never leave me or forsake me, no matter how alone I may feel, or how much in control of several spinning out of control situations I would like to be.
So for today, for the rest of the day I will rest in His comfort, and pray that through my cracked and imperfect being some of His light will also shine out and touch others.

More Air Travel from You Know Where...

Well, I am sitting at an airport again...My flight got messed up again. But here's the thing. We have a choice in how we respond. No amount of kicking, screaming, moaning, groaning, or other more unacceptable words describing frustrated air traveller's behavior is going to make it any better.
I am going home after an intense two days of visiting with life long friends. Well, almost lifelong. Since first grade. I guess I was saying third grade, but my memory isn't what it used to be...it was since first grade.
We got off to a bit of a later than hoped for start from the hotel, but it didn't matter...my flight was delayed anyway. The earlier one had been cancelled. I was to fly from SD to SF on my way back to Newark, where I then need to shuttle to Timbuktu two to find my car and then drive, once again in the middle of the night.
Well, then my flight got delayed, resulting in a missed connection, resulting in a re booking through Denver. So what are you going to do?
Act in a way that would do Jesus proud.
I greeted the gate agent and thanked him for taking care of me, noting that just for the record I didn't hold him personally responsible for the fact that things were messed up. A pleasant change, he noted.
We had a lovely conversation, and he upgraded me to economy plus; an unexpected perk.
And...I was smart enough to buy a new book at B&N yesterday (Shane Claiborne's JESUS FOR PRESIDENT) and am still coherent enough to write, so I got a draft done for a story on love and friendship for a compilation that Gary Chapman is working on. (If you are reading this and want to submit and don't have the writer's guidelines, email me). Perhaps you could also see the Starbucks sign in the background, so how bad can it be? I'll let you know when I get home! But seriously, its not the poor desk agent's fault, so why take it out on him?
So live the Golden Rule and do Jesus Justice.

Ramblings, Rantings and Ravings...

I have been wanting to post since Wednesday morning. I actually have so much I want to say that I have to admit becoming overwhelmed by inertia and excuses. So instead of this becoming a huge, boring manifesto, I am simply going to list the highlights of the last couple of days and then get to them one at a time in the form of musings over the next bit of time.

• I am in CA, not sunny CA, but smokey CA, visiting a dear friend from first grade whose birthday was yesterday and has an aggressive form of metastatic breast cancer.
• My travel day was an adventure in itself. While I could refer to it as a travel day from that you know where "H" place, (which it was) I did approach it with a spirit of adventure and ended up with a free meal and free ticket out of the experience, but don't worry, I am still feeling a need to vent the outrageous details of a day in the life of an ordinary air traveller.
• It truly is more blessed to give than to receive, as the gifts I received as a result of my visit with my friend yesterday in my mind outweighed the gift of my presence and time to her. I know she didn't agree, but this is a valuable perspective for all of us to remember: It truly is more blessed to give than to receive.
• I don't watch much TV but had Good Morning America on yesterday and saw a segment about a Hopkins Neurosurgeon who was an illegal immigrant tomato picker in the US. Of course now I can't pull his name out of my clogged brain (which the really, I must say, less than poor quality coffee this morning didn't help as much as my Starbucks half caff) but will before I re-post.
• Then, yesterday, while the TV was also still on, I think it was MSNBC was doing a piece on the mega rich. I was absolutely sickened by what I heard. The gist of it was "once you have made your first billion, it all becomes a game to just see how much more I can accumulate." How about sharing, you bozo?
• Relationships, relationships, relationships. It is all about relationships. There couldn't have been a more important place for me these two days than with two elementary school friends who are both in very challenging life spots. One is terminally ill, the other's husband just decided he doesn't want to be married any more...
• God brought several people into my life the yesterday and today who have reminded me of His providential love and care for us all. There are no accidental meetings.

SO there you have it, a preview of what is to come. Oh, and I also prefer to blog with photos, and haven't taken any, starting with the huge line of my fellow weary travellers who were booted off the 7 am flight to LA on Wednesday, but I missed the photo op. But no worries, I will be back!

Still Coming Up for Air...

OK, So I had access to the Internet last week, but ignored it for the most part. That was so I could spend time with my girls digging in the sand, diving for shells in the pool and being an all purpose fashion consultant to our older daughter's queries as to "what to wear". Thank goodness we packed light, so it didn't take forever.
The last week was spent in a gorgeous Marriott hotel on the beach in Hilton Head, SC, but I did have several episodes of not fitting in. And not wanting to, and that isn't a bad thing.
The first thing that really, really bothered me, and has every other place I have experienced this, is the amount of food that goes to waste. My husband was attending a meeting complete with enough morning snacks to feed an army, a starved army, at that. So of course, at the end of the session, everything that is left over gets heaved in the trash. I can't stand this. I talked to the woman cleaning up the venue about it, and she agreed that it is an awful waste, but if they get caught so much as sneaking a blueberry, they would get fired. So despite the fact that the food could make more of a difference in hungry bellies, it lines a dumpster instead. I packed up several to go boxes and enjoyed fresh fruit for the afternoon...
Then there is the rule that no outside food is permitted poolside. Somehow I missed the sign that announced, "No coolers allowed" (really, I did, I never saw it...) and was kindly asked to remove my cooler and abide by the rules. Oh well, I took the cooler back upstairs, but I still didn't buy the overpriced food from the poolside grille (with an "e" at the end).
We did enjoy flying kites, digging in the sand and having to leave the ocean twice, once for sand sharks and once for stingrays.
On the way home (yes, we left SC at 3:45 Saturday am) we participated in our second triathlon, and I enjoyed it tons more than numero uno. I improved my time (still finished dead last in my age group) and narrowed the margin by which my husband finished ahead of me. Alas, I do have competitive bones in my body...
And then it was home to laundry, overflowing litter boxes, two weeks of mail, flashing clocks indicating a power outage and...my own bed. I didn't miss my pillows, because I always travel with them.
The girls are glad to be home, the kittens and dog were especially glad to see us, and somehow the beta fish managed to survive.
Peace.

ReSurfacing...

I am adjusting to the unplugged life, but have resurfaced. We spent the last week in Virginia, where we have a lake house but no Internet. I would love to say I had survived the entire week without checking any emails at all, but by Wednesday I succumbed to the lure of knowing our neighbors had a computer, so over I went.

Most of it was junk, out of the 183 emails waiting for me, only about seven were "real". The most exciting email informed me that a book project I had proposed received a green light! I will be writing "What the Bible is All About for Moms" based on "What the Bible is All About" by Henrietta Mears published by Regal. I am honored to have this opportunity.

This week I do have access to email, albeit through the business center of the Marriott we are staying at, because I REFUSE to pay $9.95/day for Internet, so I have to wait my turn amongst adults doing real work, teens perusing inappropriate images on face book, and tweens im'ing their friends and the younger set making sure their webkins don't die.

What I don't have is reliable cell phone coverage. I have found one spot in the middle of the hallway outside our room, where if I sit on the floor and don't move my head I can actually register two bars and not have a dropped call. ATT doesn't seem to get coverage anywhere else. It's not so bad not being reachable, but it has posed it's problems in terms of following through on some things I need to be taking care of. Big sigh.

So now we are in Hilton Head, but no photos, because I forgot my photo card reader (more technology)...but after all, I am supposed to be on vacation!

Fifth Grade Fun...and Bittersweet Moments

Fifth grade ended today. Finished are the elementary school years for Tianna and her friend Doaa, above. I went to the celebration yesterday, complete with cake sharing all too aware that another milestone has been marked.

So I spent some time in reflection about God's call on my life, priorities, relationships and all the emotional stuff that significant life stage events bring out.

I have to admit I am feeling a little bit down. I think our kids growing up and the realization of how fast the time here on earth goes has the ability to do that. And the realization that as parents we only have a snippet of time to help them build character before they go on to become the next generation of parents. At the moment, I am not feeling all that confident in the job I am doing, and if it has the effect of helping me to focus and build stronger relationships than it is a good thing. If it becomes a guilt ridden pity party it is not a good thing.

So there are several things that have occupied my mind that I hope to develop into habits over the course of the summer ahead.

• Grab or better yet, create moments of joy.
• Listen. Really listen.
• Becoming less of a slave and more of a servant to my girls.
• Getting up early in the morning to do the mundane but necessary chores of running a household so that they don't have to listen to a distracted, unfocused mom say, "Uhhh, just a minute" for several hours each day.
• Delegate or drop as much of the extraneous stuff as I can.

I want my girls to look back at their time with me as fun and special; not a naggy drag, which I suspect might be closer to their current assessment.

I want to honor God with the job I do as a mom to these two lovely girls He has given me; they are both miracles. One adopted from half way around the world, the other conceived after years of infertility.

May the summer be one of nurturing relationships for us all.

Split in Two and Torn Apart

And I thought yesterday was rough...and the day before that decidedly a Monday.

I had been looking forward to today for quite some time. Not too long ago I went to the Anthracite Coal Mines with Nicole for her field trip (a dreary, cold, did I say dreary, wet, camp and freezing cold day) and today I was going to accompany our older daughter, Tianna, on her field trip to a museum. We were both looking forward to it.

Well, last night Nicole started complaining about a headache and voluntarily went to bed ahead of schedule. Not a good sign. Then I took her temperature and it was almost 101. Then she crawled into bed with us and she has the full body version of restless leg syndrome. Her entire feverish body was twitching and taking up more than her allotted one third of the bed. At one point I put my head at the foot end trying to eke out a couple more inches. Finally I left, but to no avail; as soon as she realized I had left, she followed me and now we were packed into a twin bed. Ugh.

Her temperature was back up when we got up and I broke the news to Tianna that I wouldn't be able to go on the field trip. The last field trip of her elementary school career. She finishes fifth grade in two days and that's it. If there is a field trip next year, as a sixth grade middle school student she won't want me along.

I was ready to cry and the tears were welling up in her eyes too; but she was determined not to let them overflow and slip out.

My husband was of little help; his suggestion was to leave Nicole, nine, home alone all day while I kept my promise and went on the field trip. I couldn't really believe it, it must have been a lapse of judgement. After all, he is a doctor (in a pediatric specialty, I might add) and people trust his advice. I didn't think it was a good idea to leave a sick child home all day unsupervised while her mother was at a science museum an hour and a half away, so I stayed home, but everyone was sad.

I was sad to miss the field trip, I was sad Nicole was sick, I was sad as parents we didn't see eye to eye.

But at the end of the day, I was forgiven, Nicole had recovered, the Boston Red Sox were on TV and tomorrow is another day.

My Crazy Weekend...

OK, I know you can relate...Ever feel like you just live your life in the car? Well, this was one of those weekends...

Driving to softball, working the concession stand, unloading the car (which caused a crisis this morning when my daughter couldn't find her backpack since "I had put it somewhere" which in fact I did, as I was getting the house ready for a suprise party for my husband) and picking up and unloading food for aforementioned party.

Now this is pretty funny; my husband can be generally oblivious; usually this trait is one of my less favorites, but every once in a while it comes in handy, like Saturday, when my sister in law and I brought all the food for the party into the kitchen while he was sitting within six feet of us and didn't notice a thing. I jammed it into the already full refrigerator, sacrificing the homemade hummingbird nectar.

I managed to have him leave the house before the guests arrived by getting him to drop the girls off at their activities and pick up an uneeded bag of ice. He relaized something was up when he came back and there were several cars pulled up in front of the house, but at least that gave him advance warning, as he is not the fondest of surprises.

I steeled my feelings so when he remarked that we didn't need an occasion to invite people overmy feelings didn't get too hurt.

But in fact, the sorry truth is, we do need an occasion to merit inviting our friends over, because otherwise it seems we just get too busy. And just as I was having my own party within a party in the form of self pity, a beautiful rainbow spread across the sky and captured my attention. I gave up my pity party, emphasized to my husband that we have gotten way too busy, and that this was meant to be a celebration with his friends and family who care about him. Kind of like what rainbows are: a reminder from God that he loves us and will never again bring floodwaters over the earth to destroy life. "Then God said to Noah and to his sons with him: 'I now establish my covenant with you and with your descendatns after you andwith every living creature that was with you-the birds, thelivestock and all the wildanimals, all those that came out of the ark with you-every living creature on earth. I establish my covenant wit you: Never again will all life be cut off by the waters of a flood; never again will there be a flood to destroy the earth.'"