Today's Top Ten Trials

1. I didn't hear my alarm go off. But no worries, Tianna finally got her alarm set appropriately, AM instead of PM (and she kept wondering why it wasn't going off in the morning...) and she came in and woke me up at 6:36 and made the bus at 6:43. It's just a bit of a mad dash. It would never happen with Nicole.

2. I took my mom to her neurologist appointment today and the doctor was running over forty minutes late. And I forgot to bring my book with me.

3. When the doctor finally made it in he danced around the issue of ruling out multiple myeloma very deftly. I am still undecided at a gut level about how I feel about this. Maybe I just have too much medical knowledge. Multiple myeloma is a blood plasma cancer, and I know that using the word cancer causes people to freak out. It would definitely have that effect on my mom. So for the time being they are hedging about a spot on the MRI that might possibly be a growth that could be responsible for proteins in her blood that could be causing her neuropathy that is responsible for her falls. Did you follow that? You would have to have a medical background to not have it go completely over your head.

4. My back windshield wiper and one of my license plate lights became unhinged and are hanging pathetically off the back of my car.

5. I have mentioned several times that I am a techno peasant and I don't know how to readjust the settings on my computer that are presumably not allowing me to fill in information on forms. Oh, actually, it will let me fill it in,it just won't post it to where it needs to go and then it shunts me to a page that says Internet Explorer Cannot Find Web page over and over and over again. Do you know how frustrating that is?

6. Nicole used an exceptionally ugly tone of voice after school that once again tested my boundaries, but I prevailed and she lost her trip to the Salvation Army.

7. After school Nicole saw Matt's ancient cat pee on my living room wall. Yup, there it was, fresh cat pee dripping down through the cracks of the molding I had lovingly hand stained. Not to mention the smell.

8. The kids at swimming stroke clinic are all averse to doing flip turns and touching the wall on their bellies when they are swimming backstroke. What's up with that?

9. I drove Nicole to cheer leading practice and sat and read Churched while she was there. The only problem was I didn't realize my headlights were on the entire time. You guessed it, my battery died.

10. I actually had a cooked meal to serve when we got back from cheering and Tianna excused herself saying she'd be right back and never returned, and my mom made a comment about Nova being on, so Howie left the table, turned on the TV and plopped in front of it. So much for a family dinner. Two of the family members left prematurely. I wasn't happy and did say that leaving the table to turn the TV on when others were still eating was not part of the family dinner plan I had in mind. Of course that makes me a bit of a shrew...

OK, so it's all fairly normal day in the life stuff...you're not alone!

Peace.

A Day in the Life

First, guess what the mailman brought me today! My two copies of CHURCHED. One for me and one for one of you. I plan to start reading as soon as I finish this post, but I suspect the usual evening reading routing will probably ensue. (And this is no reflection on the author). I will start to read, snuggle under the covers a bit more, get rather cozy and start to really fight nodding off, but the inevitable happens and before I know it there is drool dripping out the side of my mouth and I am about two pages further along than where I last left off.

It is getting brisk at night; the best kind of sleeping weather. The window is open a crack and lets just enough of the cool fall night air in to make snuggling into the covers a wonderful simple pleasure.

But there was another simple pleasure I didn't write about yesterday; Matt came home for the day. Carolyn also came, she from NJ and he from Ithaca. We are smack dab half way for both of them, so I made out the winner in getting to see them both just for a little bit.
Matt stayed over night and slept in. I really, really wanted to take a picture of him curled up in his bed with his fifteen year old cat, Sprinkles, but I respected his space.
He is doing an internship this fall in Ithaca with an organization called Primitive Pursuits. He had mentioned that he was hoping to get up and out between 6 and 6:30, so I went down just to say hey, it's now 6:36, whatever. Turns out his alarm didn't go off. But now here is the amazing part. He didn't get belligerent. It is one of the world's greatest understatements to say that he is not a morning person. He picked up his cell phone and text messaged the folks at PP that he would be getting off to a later start. And here is the other amazing part. I didn't respond with a control freak anxiety attack of "He's got to get out of here!" I finally seemed to get it that he could decide when to get up, when to leave, how to communicate with them and how to get his hours in for the week, and that he could make those choices, and I did not need to be anxious for anything. (I think he finally left around 1:30).

It also just so happened that the orthopedic surgeon called back last night and was able to talk to me and also to Matt about the MRI results and plan. He will need arthroscopic surgery with ligament repair. It looks like two ligaments are torn, and that procedure will result in a four to six week recoup with a cast. I was bracing myself for the fallout of this and its impact on his tentative hope to head back West for more snowboarding this winter. Well, he actually spoke about having the surgery right after his semester ends, hanging around and not going out West at all, but looking into working at a place in NJ that offers programs for troubled urban youth. He also remarked that it made sense because Carolyn is working in film in the NY NJ area and it was a different type of solution to the issue of where they could both find work in their field. For a long time he was solely focused on working at a CO resort. But $9 hour no benefits only goes so far...We talked about opportunities presenting themselves in the most unusual situations. So that the need for surgery could be closing one door, but opening another that he may never have noticed.

I was very proud of him. There was no emotional volatility...and a pragmatic outlook to the matters at hand: finishing school, managing his time, being with Carolyn, gaining employment and scheduling surgery. Is this maturity? I hope so. Seems to me it kicked in with Chris at about 24...

So I hope it lasts. Instead of feeling my anxiety skyrocket when I saw Matt in bed when he had somewhere else he needed to be (the story of his junior year in HS) I felt a sense of total relief that it was not my responsibility. And that was very freeing.

Blog Churched Book Tour

I am so, so excited. I have mentioned Matthew Paul Turner and his blog before, but now I want to tell you about a book he has written that will hit the stands on October 7th. The title of the book is Churched, and I am waiting for my two copies to arrive in the mail. One is for me, and I will be sharing my thoughts on it the week of October 13th here on my blog, and the other one is for one of you lucky readers who posts comments to the blog.

Starting October 1st, each time you comment I will put your name in for a drawing for the copy of the book which will occur on October 17th. I will probably have Nicole pull the name out of a hat.

Anyway, I have actually met MPT twice, both times at ICRS (International Christian Retail Show) first in Denver, then in Atlanta. I was so excited to meet him, as I had just finished reading THE COFFEEHOUSE GOSPEL and his conversational and honest appraisal of faith issues resonated with me.

This book promises to be a great read. You can read a sample chapter on his blog at www.matthewpaulturner.com to get a taste for yourself. I love his wit and humor. And also his honesty.

So I run out to my mailbox everyday to see if my books have arrived; frankly I am quite envious (yes, I know, it will rot my bones...) that others have already received their copies... in search of mine so I can immerse myself in the Churched world.

The Last Two Days in the Rain...

Meet Audrey and Pastor Dave...This was our Faith in Action Weekend. Our church was engaged in about fourteen service projects in the Milton Community. It was raining, but what else is new? It has been raining here since yesterday morning...Audrey is our Director of Ministry Development, and has been the backbone to this project. I spent time at this family's home earlier today where we cleaned and organized the shed and also put new flooring in the home. It was awesome. Then two of the kids came home with me and are now here for a sleepover. What fun! And you know I am in mode...cleaning and organizing is my current gig...so this was just terrific, and the owners just felt so blessed...

So that was today.

Yesterday we went to the Bloomsburg Fair. I have avoided it for the last two years, so there was no way I was going to get out of it this year. So off we went with ground rules set up ahead of time. Like how much money everyone was going to get, when it was gone, it was gone, blah, blah, blah...and we had a great day! I ate too much ice cream (and enjoyed every bite!) and then we went off to the HS football game. It was raining there too. But the girls had a good time, and I got to listen to my oldest son Chris broadcast. He broadcasts the HS football games for Internet radio. It was just a really low key, fun and relaxed day.

I must admit, though, I do have a philosophical problem with arcade games that are not skewed in favor of the participant. Nicole was really hoping to win a life size cardboard image of Zach Effron. Shucks. She didn't win...

But we all had a great day

More Political Thoughts...

Hello again...

The article below appeared in Relevant Magazine and I think it is more food for thought.

I also need to say I deleted the link to Frank Schaeffer's post because after I read it more carefully I found it to be scathing and I would have been up in arms if someone had written that about Obama, and found it not in the spirit of Christ. So to be fair, I have retracted that article. Respect is a two way street.

One day last spring, on the sleepy drive to school, my 8-year-old son declared he was voting for Barack Obama. Never mind that it was still the primaries and no one knew whether Senator Obama would be the Democratic candidate. Never mind that the Republican candidate was still to be decided. And never mind that he was only 8 and wouldn’t vote for another 10 years. I asked him why he was voting for Senator Obama. His answer was crisp: “Because President Bush got us into a war.” Clearly he cared about the future of our country. My son is a one-issue voter. As people of faith, political life is simpler when we are one-issue voters. The more problems that concern us, the blurrier our choices become. No matter what ticket we choose, this will be a historic presidential election. We have the opportunity to change America’s story by electing an African-American president or a female vice president—a significant milestone in a country that once counted blacks as three-fifths of a person and did not let women vote until 1920. It is also an opportunity to change the story of the role of evangelicals in politics. Traditionally, evangelicalism has been associated with the religious right, the Republican party and three flagship issues: life (abortion, euthanasia and stem-cell research), sexuality (homosexuality and same-sex marriage) and culture (a worry over the increasing secularism of America demonstrated in the removal of prayer from public schools, the teaching of evolution and the removal of the 10 Commandments from courtrooms). The predominant worry of the evangelical right has been the steady drift of America away from its “Christian cultural heritage.” A smaller, but equally important, voice emanates from the evangelical left (yes, there is an evangelical left, and it is growing). The left argues that Jesus’ concern extends beyond personal moral issues to a broad political agenda that includes social justice across a range of issues often ignored by the right. Birthed out of the radical Jesus movements in the 1960s and early ’70s, the evangelical left has united around the issues of war (with predominantly pacifist impulses) and poverty (deploying social programs to help the poor). Because of its association with social justice issues, the evangelical left feels most comfortable within the Democratic Party.
Recently, a centrist position in evangelical politics has wrestled its way into the conversation. Tired of partisan rhetoric, the center wants to attach itself to what is good on both the right and the left while distancing itself from particular party affiliations. They try to avoid the nostalgic references to America’s Christian heritage and the insistence of some on the right for a special voice at the table of public policy. They also shun the left’s seeming avoidance or marginalization of the life and sexuality issues. The center wants to be independent, offering a critical voice to both parties.Taken together, the various stripes of evangelical politics are must-research topics for any political strategist. In the last nine months alone several books have been published representing the right, left and center. David Gushee’s The Future of Faith in American Politics and Ron Sider’s The Scandal of Evangelical Politics attempt to articulate a centrist position. On the left, Jim Wallis has recently published The Great Awakening. This follows on the heels of his 2004 best-selling God’s Politics. Tony Perkins’ and Harry Jackson’s Personal Faith: Public Policy is an attempt to broaden the political agenda of the right. If the statistics are accurate, nearly 25 percent of all voters consider themselves “evangelical.” This is an enormous voting bloc. Our presidential candidates in both parties are quick to mention the importance of their personal faith and the central role it plays in their lives. Following their successful conventions, they will set out over the next 60 days of their campaign to court people of faith (not just evangelicals). As followers of Jesus, we have an important opportunity to contribute to the shaping of the American story in the 21st century. But where do we start?First, we must begin by locating ourselves on the evangelical map (or off the map). Whether we are right, left or center, we need to know our starting point. If you have ever looked at a map of a mall without a red star that says “You are here,” you know how frustrating it is to try to find a store. The red star makes all the difference.Second, we need to determine where we are going—our destination. The words of Jesus in the early chapters of the Book of Matthew are profoundly political: “Repent, for the kingdom of heaven has come near” (Matthew 4:17, TNIV). Jesus reminds us that there is a spiritual reality that overlays our political life. This spiritual reality does not negate the political, but informs and transforms our involvement in it. We are citizens of God’s Kingdom first, America second. But we are citizens of God’s Kingdom so we can be better for the world. The words of Jeremiah to the exiled Israelites in Babylon should echo in our political involvement: “Seek the peace and prosperity of the city to which I have carried you into exile. Pray to the Lord for it, because if it prospers, you too will prosper” (Jeremiah 29:7).The beauty and frustration of Jesus’ moral life was that it complicated the status quo. Which is better, to keep the strict laws of the Sabbath or to heal a man disabled for life, to stone a woman caught in adultery or redeem her from the wake of her lifestyle? Jesus was crucified as king and criminal precisely because He placed people over policies and popular theologies. He entered into the narrative of people’s lives, and people are always messy. Nothing has changed in 2,000 years. We are still messy.Seeking the welfare of the city means entering into that mess. But it means getting dirty in a different kind of way—in the way of Jesus. We get dirty through our service to the city, not through our path to power. Instead of reacting to the social decay around us, we get dirty by trying to pioneer new solutions to social problems. We get dirty by living out our faith in public life by doing good deeds—the kind of deeds that the world recognizes as good (Matthew 5:13–16). As a community of faith, we are called to set our hope on the sovereignty of God, not on the promise of politicians. Resting in God’s care allows us to be free to make mistakes with our best political decisions. And it allows us to enter into the hopes, dreams, fears, problems and frustrations of people’s stories.My hope for my son is that over the next 10 years he will mature beyond being a one-issue voter. I hope that he will be able to see the complex problems that our country faces and have the courage to take action—even if it means getting his hands dirty. I, on the other hand, have to vote this year. It’s going to be messy, but historic.

So that is my political view point for today.

Another Book Deal!

I just wanted to share that when I got up and checked my email this morning there was an email from my agent letting me know that Focus on the Family, who is distributed by Tyndale Publishers had decided to publish the pregnancy and childbirth book I have been wanting to write now for awhile. I am bummed that the proposal didn't go in with my original title, but the thought was it might have been just too racy or edgy for some: My chosen title was, "I Laughed, I Coughed, I Sneezed, I Peed" but instead it has been called something like,
"Expecting My Baby, Preparing for the Miracles of Your Child's Birth". So what do you think? It is just a little too tame for me....

Continued thoughts on Christ and Politics...

First, I really, really wanted to post last night, but I was just shot. I opted to go directly to bed,without passing go, without collecting $200.

So I decided I absolutely had to continue the conversation tonight before sacking out. And what is wrong with this picture: It is my 27th wedding anniversary and both kids are at sleepovers; a child free house ripe for romantic interludes with my husband, except he isn't here...he left for a weekend meeting in Chicago this afternoon.

A friend read my post and wanted to add the following comments, but apparently didn't have the right blogger account information (that happens to me more times than I care to admit and is the cause of much frustration...) so I decided to include them here. I will note that he is still on the bubble in terms of who will get his vote in this election:


There is no place, as representatives of Christ, for mis-information and maliciousness in our political discussions.
Being pro-life goes far beyond the abortion issues, vital as it is, to include matters of war, poverty, and disease throughout the world.
Your implication that followers of Christ who entrench themselves in a political party undermine their spiritual authority and begin to lose the ability to represent another Kingdom, a heavenly Kingdom and its values! The prophetic nature of our identity as Christians calls us to remain wary of alliances with human systems that might compromise God's agenda.

I appreciated his feedback and comments and wanted to add them to the conversation.

Then, I had a conversation with another friend and we got talking about some of these issues. I will say that I really don't like talking politics with people, because so often I feel that if I share with someone who does not share my viewpoint I end up feeling attacked. It is so much easier for me to say I am passionately in love with Jesus than to share my political views with those I don't know. If that makes me a woosie, oh well...I find more people interested in vehemently trying to change my mind than engaging in thoughtful and respectful dialog.

So here is what Abby had to say (she had actually written this out and tore the pages out of her binder to give to me:
"What is wrong with politics today?! Everyone taking a position that they believe best in order to command this country and run it accordingly to a set value system that is embodied by a certain package of a political party (Democrat, Republican or Independent). They all seem so set in what their set views and stances that are held by their party, but here is my question that I would like to pose.... It is a question that has been made in to a clever phrase or fad saying but I would like to pose this question to ALL those self professed Christians in all walks of life and on all party lines....What would Jesus do? How in all aspects of life does God want you to ace, behave...In my personal journey of faith in Christ I have come to realize that possibly the spiritual and ethical moral war that is truly being waged is one of personal battles. How do we as professed Christians treat other...do we walk humbly, do we speak in soft words to turn away wrath, do we love unconditionally, do we not judge others but instead do we treat others (even those who offend us) in a civil manner. Are our priorities truly in keeping with what Christ said, to clothe the poor, feed the hungry, shelter the widow, father the fatherless, care for the foreigners that are in need? Do we as Christians truly treat others in the way we would want to be treated? The Lord said there will be many w ho will come in my name, but I will not know them...He said my sheep will know my voice and will follow me. Are we truly following Christ...or are we so busy in condemning that we are not truly hearing others and more importantly the Lord's words?...Are we really doing His will?"

I think those are all valid questions and thoughts. And obviously we come to different conclusions as there are many who feel there is only one way to see how their vote is a representation of the Christian message. And there will be differences. I accept that. What I have a hard time accepting is when those differences are not dialoged in respect.

Another friend of mine (a Christian) told me he wears a button that says "Jesus is a Liberal" and it makes some of his friends squirm. Now I don't want to make anyone squirm, but I do want to be true to my convictions and beliefs and add dimensions to consider to those who are undecided. My feeling about those who are decided is that it is not my job to change their mind, but I also would in turn like the same respect and not have them try to convert me. It doesn't work very well in faith circles either. I have found that one of the most obnoxious ways to try to win someone over to faith is to tell them how stupid they are for believing what they do and then list all the reasons why. Is that love? Hmmm...Prayer is my job, and being true to following Jesus to the best of my understanding and ability.

That concludes my political rant for today :)

What is the Christian Response?

This weekend I became very sad...I was the recipient of a couple of incendiary emails referring to Obama as the anti-Christ and evil among other things. I was also saddened by the following excerpt which was also included in the email:


"Dear Friends,
As I was listening to a news program last night, I watched in horror as Barack Obama made the statement with pride. ... ."we are no longer a Christian nation; we are now a nation of Christians, Jews, Muslims, Buddhists, . . . "
The email went on to urge people to pass the message along and make sure we didn't vote for this candidate because he didn't think we are a "Christian Nation."

I believe in Christian values, but I agree with the statement that we are NOT a Christian nation, we are a multi cultural multi ethnic country filled with Christians, Jews, Muslims and Buddhists. Are we a white nation? No, we are not a white nation, we have many ethnicities in our nation. Are these not my neighbors? Am I not to love my neighbor? To me Jesus is the way and the truth, but when Christians (meaning followers of Christ) represent him by propagating arrogant, misconstrued and exclusionary beliefs I don't find much appealing representation of Christ.

I believe I can vote Democratic and be a Christian. They are not oxymoronic mutually exclusive terms. I believe that a vote for Obama can be a pro life vote in a very full sense. Will Samson on his blog www.willzhead.typepad.com articulates this position with intellectual thoughtfulness that I so appreciate. Pro-life is not limited to an anti-abortion stand. I wish abortion were not necessary. I don't believe for one moment that this is a choice any woman rushes into embracing it as a wonderful option. Women hurt and suffer after an abortion, whether they recognize it or admit it or not. Is the church the first place you would go for healing? I know how I would answer this question. But thankfully there are pregnancy care centers that offer compassionate post abortion support and healing. They are serving as the church.

I read the two emails containing misinformation and spiteful vindictiveness over the weekend and was faced with a decision. Ignore and delete? Certainly that would have been the easier choice. But I felt like a fraud and a cop out making that choice, so I responded.

One email requested prayer for Sarah Palin as she moves forward in the political process. I took a deep breath and responded that I believed we needed to pray for all, yes ALL our leaders, but that I felt a need to state that I was not a McCain-Palin supporter. Then I received the Obama as Anti-Christ email and his remarks about America no longer being a Christian nation and suggested that truth is a value that all leaders should embrace and that the truth of statements circulated ought to be verified and that I respectfully requested that my name be removed from such mailing lists.

I wondered if my passions and positions were so vague that the senders of the mail actually thought I agreed with them. Because I passionately love Jesus (that makes me a Christian, right?) I suspect they did, but it was so far from the truth. Howie suggested that perhaps it was time for me to switch my game plan from defense to offense. Except I don't want to be offensive because I want to be a representative of Christ, who spoke to everyone, who loved his neighbor and who did value all life. All life. So that is how I got here. I value thoughtful dialogue and I respect other's opinions and beliefs. I don't value untruth and derogatory remarks. The Bible is pretty clear as to its view of gossip and I have to say I think half truths and repeating things not verified as true fall under that category.

Do I agree with late term abortion? No. No. Do I wish that abortion wasn't necessary? That for mostly economic reasons women didn't feel they had no other option? Absolutely. I have volunteered for Pregnancy Care Centers because I value and believe in the work they do. But it is such a complex issue. And my vote in November will be based on more than that one, albeit important issue.

Peace.

An Outreach Kind of Day

I attended a lunch today sponsored by a community church interested in engaging in a cross denominational conversation about outreach and what different groups are doing, are trying and succeeding at, and also what we are trying and not succeeding at. It was a refreshing gathering of people who love Jesus (something I am having a much easier time saying and feel less attacked about than which presidential candidate I support...) The timing was perfect for the two of us representing the church I worship at, Community Mennonite Fellowship (do I look like a Mennonite? Blasts some preconceived notions now doesn't it...hmm...) because we are engaging in our Faith in Action service weekend coming up this Saturday and Sunday.

The local community newspaper did a great job covering this event, complete with photo which I am in. You can read the article by clicking on this link: http://www.standard-journal.com/. It is really cool stuff.

The basic premise is that instead of going to church on this Faith in Action Sunday, we actually serve as the church in our community, by putting our faith in action. I read about the original concept in Outreach Magazine, in an article titled, Church is Cancelled, Service Begins. Catchy, huh? So several churches have actually cancelled their services on Sunday and gone out to serve. After all Jesus healed on the Sabbath, and got blasted for it by the Pharisees (the rule keepers of the day). But Jesus asked, "I ask you, which is lawful on the Sabbath: to do good or to do evil, to save life or to destroy it?" (Luke 5:17). In my way of thinking,what could be more life giving than sharing the love of Christ with those who have not yet been touched by that love by going out and serving in the community.

The Sabbath is still protected and revered by some, so for now some of our service will take place on Saturday and some on Sunday but I think what was the most confusing to me was the position taken of not working on the Sabbath so our manual work projects were shifted to Saturday. But then one of the individuals who had strong feelings about this is not participating because she ended up being scheduled to work on Sunday afternoon. There was just a disconnect there for me. I didn't get it and was a bit sad that we didn't embrace the campaign in its fullest sense. But strong traditions are hard to reconstruct, and I am thrilled that we are starting somewhere.

The lunch was a time of sharing and feeling unity amongst ourselves as "the church" and not a particular denomination.

And for that I was thankful.

Rock Climbing, Cheering and a Broken Foot...

Check it out; the newest in shoe attire. This one supplied by Pediatric Walk In clinic. Nicole broke her foot.

Last Wednesday. Yes, I know today is Monday, but uh, well, several of us didn't really think it was broken. I have a track record with this kind of thing, too. The first time Matt broke his arm (total now five, not including the impending surgery required on the wrist injured last March which did not end up totally broken...) I didn't take him in to be seen till later the next day because he had full range of motion, no bruising, swelling etc. They didn't even believe me in the clinic when I finally arrived with him and as they are asking me what his presenting symptom was and I replied, well, you see that arm he is waving to you with, well, I think it could be broken, it was all they could do not to laugh me out the front door.

OK, so this time it took us five days to get to clinic. Nicole turned her foot under during recess while being chased last Wednesday. She came home complaining about it, but since she was still walking on it, we went off to cheer leading anyway. I told her she didn't have to do anything that hurt, and she didn't dance or jump, but we did need to go as she is part of the team and I was the counted on transportation for a teammate. So she waved her pompoms, didn't jump and enjoyed the concession stand selections several times.

Then Thursday night she went to two dance classes, and then we went off for the weekend. She did complain intermittently about it hurting, but she was active all weekend long, including:

Getting back for Cheer leading Sunday afternoon, which was preceded by two climbs to the top of the climbing wall at the lodge.

The school nurse didn't think it was broken when it happened, but I knew since she was still complaining about it we needed to have it checked out. Although I do admit I felt a little bit ridiculous admitting this happened Wednesday and it was now Monday. It was a saving grace that we were away over the weekend...so they gave us the lovely shoe and a referral to orthopedics, our very favorite clinic at the hospital. The moral of the story? Agree to take your kid to the doctor even five days after the fact if they say it (whatever it is) still hurts.

Weekend Highlights...

The weekend was beautiful...I am mad at myself that I didn't take a photo of the "lodge" it honestly looked more like a castle. There was an indoor pool, hot tub, ping pong tables, dining room with endless food, great company and a host of outdoor events. We had a picnic lunch overlooking the lake Saturday and a clam bake as the dinner function Saturday night, where I kid you not, we had lobster and could go back as many times as we wanted. I think I had three lobster tails...Nicole thought they were gross (especially the slimy green gunk inside the belly) Howie continues to think they are messy and more work than they are worth, and I continue to think they are delicious.I really relaxed. And I ate way too much...but actually most of it was healthy, except the five servings of creme brulee at Sunday brunch. I did hike around the lake several times.

We went stargazing on Saturday night, and Sunday morning I got up to listen to Howie's talk, which was why we got this amazing all inclusive weekend away. He really does a great job speaking. It was great to listen to him. I think the last time I went to hear one of his talks was several years ago...

I enjoyed the company of old friends and made some new ones as well. I even got a consult poolside on my icky toenails on my right foot. I need to nail that fungus (sorry, no pun intended...)

Nicole came along and had a great time (except for hiking, she still doesn't like that, but she did enjoy the climbing wall...) and Tianna stayed home, which wasn't ideal, but did work out for her. The first social was Friday afternoon and then there were also two softball games and a birthday party. Ah, the social life...But we did miss her, all for her sister, that is.

It was a great environment to be in to practice my new found boundaries of living life in the present in slow mode.

Peace.

Quickie Update

Just a quick update...

We are away this weekend and I am enjoying peace and quiet, which may seem a bit oxymoronic as our very chatty and busy daughter Nicole is along, but it's True!

I am going through blog withdrawal, though, because I have chosen not to connect to wireless service, because I am making a conscious choice to be present, not distracted and not pay the fee. In all honesty, in the past my primary motivation would probably be thriftiness (a kinder, gentler way of saying I am on the cheap side, but you probably know that by now...) but I can honestly say, all the inner turmoil of the past few days and prioritizing, choosing, establishing boundaries, etc. have make intentionality in decision making a much higher value for me, and I have chosen to be away from the distraction and magnetic pull of the computer.

There is a "business center" really a very lame tag for two computers stuck in a room at the very end of a hidden hallway where there is access, and I did find it, just to stay connected.

We are in the Poconos at a really beautiful Lodge and it is one of those incredibly beautiful fall weekends. Tianna stayed home to enjoy her first middle school social, a fall ball double header and a birthday party. Howie is speaking at this meeting and Nicole and I are enjoying the fringe benefits.

More later, we are off to a hayride and picnic.
Peace

I Think I'm Having an Identity Crisis...

In some ways today was better than yesterday; in others it was worse. I continue to think about the hats I wear and the responsibilities I juggle and really, really question the wisdom of having more (hats and responsibilities...now throw in a new pair of shoes and maybe we'll talk!) But seriously, I come back to a question I have been trying hard to answer since January.

And it relates to passion and focus, and ultimately if my actions are matching up with what I verbally commit to. And I even have been working with a life coach since January to help me un-knot myself. As a Christian I am admonished to "be anxious for nothing" but let me tell you, there has been a fair amount of anxiety swirling around in my head the last couple of days in particular.

And I think much of it revolves around the central question of what I feel I am called to do, versus what I, self-centered Kathy Pride feel like doing. And the two are at odds with each other and stressing me out a bit.

I came to the realization this morning, only confirmed by several conversations throughout the day, that adding more to my plate at this time will not be worth the income I earn. I was able to proceed through today at a relaxed pace; I still had my to do list, but if I didn't maintain a breakneck speed or accomplish all of it, I wasn't shirking responsibilities.

And if I had a job to be at, or work responsibilities to fulfill, I would not be able to have some of those conversations or be open to the life lessons they held. But the result was somewhat of an identity/performance crisis. I'll get over it with a little help from my friends (and prayer warriors).

I had a great conversation with a friend in the elementary school parking lot after I dropped off Nicole. I almost drove her to school barefoot, but something told me to put on shoes. It was a real encouragement because this other woman really shares many of my perspectives, and she is also an outspoken New Yorker. I think we both feel we have outgrown our small town at times...but a recurrent theme that came up was why some Christians are so hateful , judgmental and nasty. And of course, coming up on an election, some of the actions and conversations become really heated. This is not the way of Jesus. And it makes me so very sad. But we agreed that our family must come first. That would negate working outside the home for me at this time. Things have been going much more smoothly with Nicole; do I want to throw that all out the window for a paycheck that may allay a little bit of financial anxiety, but just create other anxieties instead? Have I totally bought into the myth of "superwoman"?

Then I got a phone call from a friend that was more like a divine appointment. Someone who has just wiped her plate totally clean to be able to live life at a more restful pace. My gut reaction was respect and envy. But hey, I can make that same choice. So I enlisted a few people to hold me accountable to stick to making decisions that uphold a value and vision of family first along with living in sync with my passion for relationships and outreach.

I emailed my life coach and called my pastor to set up a talk time tomorrow.

We only get to go round once on this earth and I want to be certain I am living out my passions, purpose and calling. Building healthy and loving relationships is one, writing is another and serving through outreach the third. When they all come together it is even better. But the distractions and temptations (of accomplishments, a paycheck, doing good work, and a zillion other things) are all real too. I guess I'm having some growing pains. Or maybe an identity crisis.

I feel in a way that God is up to something pretty big, but the stepping out in faith business is pretty scary. But then again if we knew the outcome or had all the answers it wouldn't be faith.
But I really enjoyed my day, conversations and a trip out to Lewisburg to watch Nicole cheer. If I were working I would have missed many of those things.

Hitting Roadblocks...

So today was a bit frustrating...I do some mystery shopping, which is a cool gig, until you go to write your reports and the computer doesn't cooperate. I filled out a couple of forms several times only to have it not transmit...and then discovered that two reports I filled online forms in for arrived at their destination blank. Same with a longer report. It represents a fair amount of time and no copy, so it all needs to be done over again, with no guarantee that it won't happen again. Sigh. So at least the next time I will print a copy of the completed form and can always send it snail mail. But I hate it when garbage like that happens. Annoyances that are time consuming and just draining.

And it seems like it was a day full of that kind of stuff.

For the time being our only working phone is a tethered land line on the desk in the kitchen. That's the phone that used to be in my study, since land lines are what they like you to do interviews on since the sound quality is better. For some unknown reason our cordless phones stopped working. I thought Tianna had worn the batteries out, but when I replaced the batteries, they still didn't work. When I borrowed Erin's phone to try, despite working at her house, they didn't work at my place either, so we are stuck with and settling for the tethered land line. It does have the positive effect of keeping us off the phone. A plus. But anyway, it rang several times, and every single stinking time I bolted downstairs from upstairs to answer it it was a telemarketer. My name has apparently expired on the do not call list,and I haven't gotten around to changing it.

Then we went to make chocolate chip cookies and didn't have enough flour. We didn't find a neighbor home till the third try.

What else? Oh, the cat puked all over an antique chair. I heard the retching this morning and just groaned. Something else to vacuum. Tianna has been telling me for two days now that I need to vacuum since I knocked over half a jar of honey roasted peanuts and they have attracted a huge colony of ants.

And we now have a huge harvest of pears (the peaches are done) that are attracting fruit flies to my kitchen.

Then I tried to call a friend who is going to help me organize (once I can actually find the floors to all of my rooms) and her number wouldn't go through.

Then to top it all off, I found out one of the two publishers that was still considering my pregnancy and childbirth book decided to pass, even though they really liked the writing, because they just haven't had good luck with health books. So I am bummed.

And I am in a quandary about mulling over the job I interviewed for; what if they offer it to me? Will I take it? Is that wise? What do I need to give up to make time? Is taking a job, even a part time job counter productive to all the work I have been doing with my life coach to become less stressed and more focused? Arghhh...I just ended up feeling bummed out and frustrated.

Feel free to add your thoughts...and I'm dead tired to boot. But tomorrow will be better, right?

Assisted Living...

Today I visited an Assisted Living facility. I won't go into the reasons for my visit, but it had a pretty big impact.

Assisted Living is different than a nursing home; the residents are more independent, yet when I walked through the front door, the distinction was lost on me. It looked like a nursing home. But yet wasn't classified as one. I guess the levels of care are more minimal; the assumption is the residents are much more self sufficient, but yet not enough so to be able to continue living in their home.

A very, very clear and incredibly forceful thought went through my mind as I entered the facility and looked at the residents sitting in the reception area.

My mother will never be one of those people. For as long as I possibly can, if she needs care, I will take care of her in my home.

I have no doubt that the residents are well taken care of. But they are not at home; they are not with a family member. At least at this level, where independence is still presumed (and necessary) isn't there a family member who could care for them? I know that probably in some cases the answer is "no", but I suspect in other cases there may be an option, but for various reasons it is not pursued.

I wondered about their stories...what had life dealt them? How long had they been there? How much of the decision to move in was theirs? What about the elderly woman who had shared a room with her husband, but he needed to go to a more involved nursing facility and now she didn't know if he would return or not? What about visitors? Wouldn't family time be more meaningful than bingo in the rec room?

There were far more questions that swirled through my head than there were answers. But one answer that was evident was that if and when the time comes that my mom needs to transition out of the apartment in New York City, (whether my dad is at the same stage or not) she will come to live with us and we will do whatever we need to to support her and take care of her.

Confessions of a Middle Aged Drama Queen

Oh, I had such fun! I was asked to present an impact moment at church today, and decided props were in order, and well, I just had a blast.

We are gearing up for our Faith in Action Campaign, where we will be going out and being church in our community. As a prelude to this weekend event, which will be held the last weekend of September, different members of the congregation have been presenting "impact moments" sharing different insights of faith they have had. Not one to miss an opportunity to share (did I miss my calling as a performer?) I volunteered. I have to admit, until I pull my thoughts together I do experience a little bit of stress over preparing, but it generally turns out fine.

So I gave three snapshots of moments or stories that had meaning to me in terms of teaching me a bit more about following Christ and how to and not to emulate him. My desire was to both encourage and challenge others.

My objective was to illustrate ways in which either we have an impact on others, or they have an impact on us, with the ultimate desire to impact God's kingdom.

"Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the LORD and not men." (Colossians 3:23). In other words, remember who your boss is.

Along with that, it is worth remembering to clothe ourselves in humility and to do nothing out of selfish ambition.

With that, I dramatized the story of the ugly American passenger on my flight to Honduras trying to stuff his overstuffed bag into the overhead compartment. I demonstrated complete with a pile of "carry on" luggage, pillow and computer case. I think my girls were both mortified and annoyed that I used their bags to illustrate my point.

My second snapshot was to talk about the incredible hospitality I experienced last weekend at the wedding. I made sure I wore the dress to church that I wore to the wedding...I commented about how I was definitely out of my comfort zone, but then again, isn't that just like God to invite us to those places out of our comfort zone; the question is,what will we do with that invitation?

And then I talked about giving God our best and the incredible junk for Jesus I saw in Honduras and wrapped up with a wonderful challenge issued by a pastor at a church in Colorado I read about in Rev! Magazine, where he invited the congregants to leave their coats that they wore that day, their best Sunday coats, not leftovers, for homeless people in their community. Beautiful...

I loved sharing and was even forgiven for exceeding my time limit. Now that's grace!

Joey and Zoey

No, Joey and Zoey aren't twins, in fact they aren't even siblings. They are hermit crabs that have joined our menagerie, which currently consists of one dog, four cats, a frog, a beta fish and a bunny. There were also two parakeets, but they went home with my mother. Just another reason I suppose I need to have my head examined; more to take care of...but these are Nicole's pets.

Hermit crabs seemed fairly innocuous and easy to care for. As long as you keep them moist, feed them, don't let mites set in and provide bigger shells for them to moult into. Like I said, there must be something wrong with my head.

So Zoey came home today from Knoebels (a local amusement park); it was actually less expensive than the one we got the other day at Petco. We learned that if their large claw is purple it is a female, red a male. So when we got home Nicole discovered that Joey was actually a Josephina, so she has been renamed JoJo. I think Nicole was hoping for baby Hermies, but it doesn't look like that will be happening. That's all I need; to become a hermit crab breeder in addition to all those other roles I manage to assume!

We did actually have to make an exchange. Nicole initially picked out one of the larger size crabs and when I took it out and put it on my outstretched palm it PINCHED me. And I mean hard. That claw was firmly implanted in my palm pad under my middle finger. I tried pulling prying and then pulling and finally got my finger nail under neath after trying to shake it off. There was my hand wildly flailing with the hermit crab firmly attached. What a grip! I was amazed that the darn thing didn't draw blood, it sure felt like it.

And then Nicole, bless her heart decided she couldn't possibly bring a hermit crab home that had accosted her mother like that, so back it went for a hermit crab exchange. I am happy to report that Zoey hasn't pinched anyone yet and is making fast friends with JoJo.

Now Nicole is just trying to figure out how to get the crab on Pet Star. I wonder if the amazing pinching crab would have counted?

My Heart is Fine, Maybe its My Head

Well, here's the newsflash. My heart is fine. Of course, that doesn't surprise me. I doubt I could have finished two triathlons if my heart wasn't fine. But I suppose it's better to be on the safe side. So now that they know it's not my heart causing my passing out, I will need to trot off to the neurologist to see if there is something wrong with my head. I guess we're running a family special on neurology appointments too. Maybe I'll get to go for a ride in the MRI machine.
The only other finding was that I am anemic, so more blood work has been ordered to try to figure that out. Iron supplements (isn't that what Geritol was?) may be in my future.

Speaking of having my head examined, I did have two job interviews this week. The first one ended very shortly after it began, because it turns out the position was not Part time, but full time and I immediately told the interviewer very nicely that then I was not their person. It is for a clinical liaison position to try to increase referrals for long term care. I am also not a geriatrician; I much prefer the other end of the life spectrum caring for new mommies before and after they have their babies. So the second job was much more appealing. It is a nursing position with the nurse family partnership program that provides holistic early intervention and education to first time moms by visiting them in their homes and basically building a relationship with them, becoming their advocate, setting goals, and mentoring and life coaching them. The position they are looking to fill is .75 and I was honest and told them that was even more than I wanted to work, but I could swing .6. That works out to three flexible days a week. It is an interesting and challenging position that really provides the nurse with an opportunity to have a lasting impact on a woman's (or young girl's in some cases) life. I will probably hear by the end of next week.
I am making progress in the toy room, but it is really overwhelming. We decided to make it into a hang out room, so most of the toys will have to go somewhere else. Preferably out my door, not just upstairs. I told Nicole that her orphanage had to move and that there were strict zoning regulations where she was moving to (her room, a smaller space for all her babies...)
It's getting late and the kitchen is a mess. Both girls are at sleepovers, Howie is watching the Red Sox game and I need to give a three to five minute faith impact blurb in church on Sunday, so I am going to mull that over. Yes, three to five minutes. That might be a challenge...

Confessions, Chaos, Clutter and Clarity

OK, I have a confession. One I have made before...I love bargains and am a sucker for dolls. I love dolls. Well, Nicole has also developed a love for dolls and she is running an orphanage in our basement. Of course if anyone actually inspected it (as you will see) she would be shut down in a minute. Clothes everywhere, missing shoes, mayhem and general chaos. Since conquering the garage, I have ventured into the "toy room" aka Plastic Palace, filled with Little Tykes collected over the years at yard sales at bargain prices. Little did I realize the toll it would take on my mental health... Nicole has one friend in particular who comes to play and the play turns more into a free for all. I know, I know...I need to have them clean up. The problem is I wasn't home much this summer and well, it just totally got away from me. (Remember the garage, well half this stuff ended up in the garage; at least they were good about getting their babies fresh air...)

And soon, I just started heaving whatever belonged to Nicole or had been dragged upstairs into the room. I simply opened the door and chucked it in. Some example...

Fortified with extra coffee, I made my way downstairs with the goal of pruning and purging. (The other two remaining terribly offensive hot spots are the "computer room" upstairs and the utility room which has been over run with junk. (No doubt once precious heirlooms...)
One huge obstacle I have is that Nicole is a pack rat. She saves EVERYTHING (I have overcome this problem, although you may not be able to tell...)and inevitably when I get rid of something, her radar picks it up and that is exactly what she wants. So I have still to determine how I am going to truly get rid of half this stuff and not just shuffle it around.

A yard sale as an option (a horrible amount of work) is one idea; my son's girlfriend Erin wants to have one, so I have actually put the 24th and 25th of October down in ink in my calendar as a goal. OK, that makes you all accountability partners. I really don't want a mountain of stuff sitting all winter in my newly cleaned garage.

The girls and I came up with the idea that this space (toy room) could be converted into a hang out room which would also free up space in their rooms. They have these really cool sofa like chairs from Pottery Barn that would look really funky down there. So with that end in mind, I bought spray paint to repaint the shelves and a throw rug from WalMart that is blue and green. It would also be a place where they could when they have sleepovers which would mean my family room would be spared conversion into a shelter. (Remember my mom asked me earlier this summer if I was running a soup kitchen).

My inspiration to get moving and keep going with this is most recently attributed to the encouraging words of Lisa Samson, who wrote a book with her husband, JUSTICE IN THE BURBS. This is from an online newsletter she wrote, Michah's Place: "Give it away. Sell it. Or throw it out. Our homes can distract us like nothing else. We're either working long hours to pa for it, or shopping to get it just so, sometimes going far into dept to achieve the effect we want. Simplifying your surroundings and you r options at home can make a huge difference in the overall quality of your life and the life of others. With so many options to choose from (should I scrapbook, play softball, organize the closets, or flip through the catalogues that came today?) is it any wonder we retreat to the computer of the television just to escape?

Choose.

We hate that work in that context don't we: We hate to be limited, even to limit ourselves. But give it a try. What hobbies do you enjoy the most? Playing sports? Pick one. Crafts? Limit yourself. Give the rest of the gear and supplies away. Was that hole-riddled sweater ever a good idea" Throw it out. What books will you really read again? Sell the others.

You can use the money you make to help others. (And hey, if you've got lots of extra furniture, housewares, dishware and other home supplies, consider donating them to your local refugee resettlement ministry or halfway house.)

Free your mind and your space and let the creativity and the blessings flow."

Thanks, Lisa!

So I have been doing some of these things, but have a long way to go. There is a pretty strong attraction to our "stuff". I am trying to conquer it rather than have it conquer me.

Peace.

My Turn to go to the Doctor

I didn't really think I would get through my check up unscathed since I went clunk and passed out last week. I haven't been sent for the MRI of my head (yet) but did get referred for an Echo cardiogram, which was a test they also ran on my mom. So you see, we still have the two for one thing going.

So my internist did ask the million dollar question (thank you Katy and Kara for your astute medical knowledge...) "So why do you think these are migraines?" Uh...well...because I did get lots of headaches, sometimes with these episodes, although often not, and someone said so a long time ago and it never really got challenged or worked up. Well, my time has come.

The first passing out episode I had like this was when I was a young teen (I think...hard to remember) I did see a neurologist once upon a time who thought it was epilepsy, and then another said no, it wasn't. I can't really remember when or who decided they were migraines, but when I started taking preventive medicine my headaches did get a lot better. It was always assumed that my "episodes" were the aura that went with the migraine, as in the past I did get a headache. But over the past few years it has changed. So my official diagnosis is "syncope and collapse" . Do you think I might get some sympathy for my syncope?

So I had an EKG (normal) and we'll see what the Echo shows (I suspect nada) and then I guess it will be my turn to trot off to neurology. My primary did say I was very non chalant about the whole thing. But she also agreed that if I had some weird heart arrhythmia I probably would be six feet under by now, so that was tremendously reassuring. My last episode like this was about two years ago and somehow I managed not to pass out by the skin of my teeth, but really freaked out my co-worker (I was in California) who wanted to take me to the ER without passing go. I said "NO!" (And was I complaining about my mother as patient?!)

OK, so I had blood work, a tetanus shot so I'm covered for the next ten years if I step on something nasty, and I'll stay tuned.

In the meantime, there have been more health developments for my mom and Matt.
On my mom's MRI they really didn't come up with any plausible explanation for why she was falling, they did NOT see any signs of Alzheimer's (something that relieved her tremendously) but they did see a funky spot, that coupled with some weird blood results have now bought her a referral to the hematologist to rule out multiple myeloma (it involves that ugly "C" word and plasma cells). The neurologist also wants to do a couple more tests, so she will be back two weeks from Sunday for the next round of medical care.

As for Matt, let me just say I understand all about HIPPA and the need for confidentiality, but it can be a huge, let me say HUGE pain in the butt. Suffice it to say that there were MRI results, but since Matt wasn't here, no one could talk to me. I understood that, but patiently explained that he was away the (holiday) weekend somewhere where he could not get cell phone reception and would only be home Tuesday before disappearing for Ithaca. It would be really nice to talk to someone about results before he took off. Nothing. So he called Tuesday. Nothing; no one returned the call. So I called back at like 4:30 Tuesday afternoon and handed the phone to Matt. Everyone except a PA unfamiliar with his case had gone home for the day (surprise). OK. So why did I call on Friday afternoon trying to explain all of this?
So I emailed the doc, after getting Matt's written consent to satisfy the HIPPA police and got an email back saying so sorry, but he had left instructions to schedule an appointment with Matt immediately upon getting the MRI results. Um....let's see, that would have been Tuesday, but obviously there was a glitch.
He wants to discuss Matt's wrist face to face (good luck) but did say there was quite a bit of old trauma and that it probably had involved a break and torn ligaments since March (they missed the diagnosis in CO). Now this is not going to be fun. He does have insurance for the moment...since his internship is FT they reinstated him, but I'm not sure where surgery is going to fit in with his internship this fall and hopes for snowboarding next winter. Should be interesting.
Don't worry, I will keep you updated on negotiating the health system 101.

Aspiring Women Segment to re-air!

I just got this email yesterday, from the producer of Aspiring Women, a Christian Talk Show I was on a while back. I did the interview and B Roll taping (dramatizations and out of studio shoots) back in 2006 (?) I think...but it is pretty cool that they are re-broadcasting it. So just thought I would pass that along FYI kind of thing.

Our Aspiring Women program featuring your story will re-air on Wednesday, October 8th. In addition to airing in Chicago and on our syndicated stations, now, AW can be watched live online at 10am Eastern Time – so if you want to inform anyone who hasn’t seen this program, they can see it now if they have access to the Internet. They just need to go to www.tln.com and click “watch TLN online”.

The Wedding...

Pictures from the wedding...The bride and groom, Minna and Jap. I hadn't ever met Jap before, and I had only met Minna once, yet I was invited and included in their special day. I was really touched and I have to admit, a bit surprised. Minna was serving as a nanny at New Horizons Ministry when we met two summers ago.

New Horizons is a ministry that provides one on one foster care for incarcerated women's children (new born on up) while the mom is serving her sentence. The children are cared for and nurtured and taken to visit their moms while they are in jail every week. It is an amazing program. The other young women in this photo are some of the other nannies that also served in the ministry, and the adults in the back row to the right are Myron and Mary Ellen King, who were there as house parents and were the couple I knew. I met Minna two years ago when I went to ICRS (International Christian Retail Show) in Denver and took the girls with me. The ministry is in Canon City, outside of Colorado Springs, and the girls stayed at the house with Myron and Mary Ellen, the four nannies and the four babies while I was in Denver. The little girl Minna is holding is Chyara, who has been in the K Street House (Myron and Mary Ellen's house) since her birth. The nanny in the black shirt actually lives in Lewisburg, a town close to where I live in PA.



Meet Myron and Mary Ellen King. They are truly heroic and remarkable people. I met them through Howie who took care of their first son who was born seven years ago. He only lived a short while, born with a terrible, terrible skin disease called Epidermilysis Bullosa. It is a recessive genetic disease that causes blistering both externally and to the internal organs as well. Mary Ellen conceived two more times and both times again gave birth to baby boys with EB, who died just a few weeks after being born. Despite their tragedies, they have maintained a steadfast faith in Christ and are sustained by his love and spirit. Their story will be in my Bible Moms book for the book of Job. It was wonderful to see them and spend time with them again. Their boys would be seven, five and four. They have shared the love they have selflessly with the foster kids that have lived in their home.

The wedding party sat front and center and the table I was seated at was also towards the front of the room off to the left. Minna has six brothers, five of whom are older. Each member of the party had their own personal server and then the guests were served buffet style. The meal was delicious. Tender, juicy grilled chicken, corn swimming in butter (home grown on one of the many area farms) fresh mashed potatoes, salad, rolls and fresh fruit. Each place had a cup of peanuts, mints and chocolates which Minna had made. The chocolates were in the shape of a cowboy hat and boot to complement the western theme. Minna and Jap met in Colorado, and will be returning there to live after their honeymoon. I can't imagine making about 1000 chocolates by hand...

The fellowship hall was full. I have never been to a wedding this large or attended by so many children. It was also very different from other weddings I have attended. No alcohol was served and the only music was a short selection by a very talented group of vocalists who sang acapella. There was an "open mic" at which time friends and family got up to share. I really wanted to share how touched I was to have been included (I felt like I stuck out noticeably) and welcomed, but I just couldn't do it. I was chicken and couldn't pull myself together to make it happen. Yes, you heard it hear first, I was at a loss for words and unable to get up in front of a group and speak. Go figure.

Most of the men wore plain white shirts and dark pants. Some had jackets, but simple jackets, not double breasted. And no ties. The women wore very traditional Mennonite dress, mostly in dark or subdued colors. The bridesmaids wore burgundy and the servers wore either pink or silver. There were probably only about five or six of us women who had on "English" clothes and maybe one or two less even than that without head coverings. When I got dressed for the wedding I put my dress on (a very colorful floral dress, really pretty, but very bright...) and then added my earrings and necklace which were really pretty, but I just couldn't wear the necklace. It was just too much. So I took it off and felt somewhat better, but was wishing I had chosen something more neutral...Makeup? Not a chance. There were one or two nannies who had some makeup on and a couple with toe nail polish, but that was it as far as accessorizing went.

The other difference is that there is no exchange of rings; they don't wear any jewelry at all.

Yet despite the differences in outer appearance, I suspect the inner feelings, emotions and struggles are similar to any other twenty something woman. We all share in the human condition. Yet, in this community there was a sense of being a step removed from the world. Not to the extend that the Amish community is, but definitely much more so than other Mennonite families I have spent time with. One woman commented to me that she had entered (the Mennonite faith community) from "the outside"; she had not grown up a part of the Mennonite community, and when she married in, she let go of many practices and beliefs that were "of the world" and adopted the dress and customs of her new faith family. It felt like a different world to me, similar perhaps to the middle of the last century. But then there were anomalies to that, like cell phones and the swiftness with which some of the younger crowd could text. That struck me as odd...And no dishwashers. The meal was served with all disposable paper products and cutlery and the dishes that were used all needed to be washed by hand. Ugh. And the "catering" and clean up was all handled by the church matriarchs.

Aside from no dancing or music, there were not any other big differences. We enjoyed cake and when the bride and groom left a group of friends surrounded their car and wouldn't let them get in until they had a long, public kiss.

I really was honored to be included. Like Mary Ellen said when I called her and told her I got an invitation, "Boy, Kathy, you must have really made an impression!"

Quick Update...

My Internet is out...again. Pathetic. So guess where I am now! But just for a quick update (as much to feed my addictive personality as to keep you all updated on my crazy life!) I start to go through withdrawal now when I don't blog. And it has been since Friday. Oh my! For the moment, it is the only writing I'm doing, so I really miss it when it isn't part of my daily discipline. But, like I said, just a quick update, because I have to get back to the house where they are installing Direct TV. I unsuccessfully waged a campaign with my family to discontinue TV. But with all the cable woes we have had with our Internet, I am bundling the Internet and TV and in the process will save a bundle, so that works for me! I did need to run out this morning to get to the bank and get weighed in since I missed all of last week, and woohoo, I lost 2 1/2 pounds. So now I feel like I am on a roll...DD now has healthy food, these flat bread sandwiches, so since I only had a handful of grapes this morning, I ordered one and even scraped the cheese off. It was pretty good, but the egg white part was still frozen in the middle. I have a feeling it wasn't supposed to be that way...but it did taste good!

So here's the quick update, and I promise photos galore and posts to come, either when my Internet is working again, or later tonight when I sneak back out of the house after the girls are in bed:

• The wedding was amazing. It was huge. And I felt so honored to be included.
• I was out of my comfort zone at the wedding. I know we all worship the same God, but I was one of about five women who didn't have a head covering, and I definitely had the most colorful dress. I had a necklace on that matched my earrings, but I just couldn't do it and took the necklace off.
• I stayed with my friend's cousin at their home Friday and Saturday nights. I experienced true hospitality. They live on a dairy farm which was also a new experience for me.
• I was upgraded to first class on the flight home. The only thing that's better is a bump.
• There is a rumor circulating in Danville (a town well versed in rumors) that I am coaching swimming this winter. Need to find out where that is coming from. I haven't committed to that yet...
• Tianna has been invited to play on a fall softball team and we are all delighted.
• Matt probably needs surgery on his wrist.
• I am going for two job interviews this week. OK, so I need to have my head examined. (And not just because of passing out and banging it hard). Both in Nursing, both part time.
• I am so glad to be home.

More later, Peace!

Loving Media, Hating Traffic...

First of all, yes, I do have a headache...but it's not a migraine, it is from where I hit my head on the way down, down, down off the chair yesterday. It's sore! Advil is great, though, it takes care of a lot of what ails you. (According to my hosts on FamilyNet TV yesterday, so does Preparation H... but I digress, back to that in a minute...

I should have had my camera out of my purse yesterday while I was driving to the studio, I could have taken a picture of some real traffic, along with the car fire. I am sure I must have been breaking a law when I took this picture while driving to the studio this morning. I left extra early in case there were more mishaps, but there was only "normal" traffic.

I stopped at McD's for breakfast and had a victory! How can you eat healthy at fast food? Well, it really isn't that hard, except I couldn't find the Egg McMuffin on the menu. Of course, I was looking at the dollar menu board (frugalmeister that I am) and it wasn't there. Why couldn't I find the Egg McMuffin? I didn't want a Biscuit with Sausage...I was looking and looking and finally a guy said to me, "It's hard to decide isn't it?" but I answered that I was just looking for the Egg McMuffin and just planned on eating the egg. "There, it's right there on the left side of the main menu." I attributed not being able to see it to brain cells that died when I hit my head falling off the chair at the restaurant last night...

So anyway, just normal city traffic, so no surprises there...
But I did have a surprise when I got to the studio. This morning was radio, on FamilyNet radio. It's radio, right? So I went in a cute, but sleeveless top (my upper arms are still a bit less defined-meaning more jiggly- than I would like) NO makeup, and blue jeans. Well, here's a first, this radio show also broadcasts on TV.
Surprise! Radio on TV! Thank goodness they have a make up artist. So they fixed me up, and I was only visible from the waist up so my blue jeans were out of sight...and great jewelry will make up for lots of things.

So yesterday it was TV and I knew it was TV. I also knew they had a makeup artist, because she fixed up my eyes. My mascara had exploded (reminds me of a story I have about a copier tube of toner exploding one time...do you have any idea how messy that stuff is? It is black powder...) so my eyes got lost, but she fixed me up in that department too. So here I am with the guest who was the cook. Boy, did she make a yummy meal. I am going to have to go back and get the link for the show archive so you can check out the recipe. Chicken with pecorino and pine nuts and a salsa with tomatoes, olives and raisins to die for. And heart healthy, too, because it was made with olive oil. I wanted to take her home with me so she could be my personal chef (which reminds me, why would Sara Palin give up her personal chef? I just don't understand...)


And then here is a larger view of the set. The show began with a bit of banter and now I am going to get back to the Preparation H story. Apparently they had a contest in which they asked for viewers to call in with sunburn remedies. Now you would think being married to a dermatologist and being the mother of two redheads I would be familiar with this, but I was not. Apparently Preparation H is a great salve to ease the pain of sunburn, with its anesthetic properties. And another trick...you can also use it as eye cream to get rid of some of the wrinkles, but only if you use the cream, not the gel. Imagine that!

So anyway, I love doing media, and have one more TV and one more radio gig today. I did get a call last evening from the host of the radio interview I will be taping later, John Young, and had a hilarious conversation with him. We have been having some difficulty connecting, so by the time we actually spoke, it seemed like we were long lost friends.

I am hoping to stop by Andy Stanley's church on the way out of town (North Point Community Church) and am then heading south to Montezuma, GA to attend a traditional Mennonite wedding. I am sure I will stick out...I am so honored to have been invited, though, and can't wait to see a couple of really dear, wonderful friends there in addition to the bride.

I am having a wonderful time. Miss my family, but am glad Howie will take the girls to the football game tonight.

Peace!

My Day, Migraines and Clunking on the Ground...

OK, so originally I was going to post photos from my TV gig this morning (lots of fun, I will post pictures tomorrow) and a host of other thoughts, like being directionally challenged driving last night and going in the wrong direction , mascara exploding in my purse, hitting more traffic on the way to the TV studio this morning (a car fire that closed down two lanes...)or a conversation I had with the radio host I will interview with tomorrow night which was hysterical. All worthy of discussion.

But all of those thoughts got trumped by the fact that I passed out, yes, fainted, while eating dinner tonight by myself at a restaurant and went clunk, right off the chair and apparently hit my head on a ledge on the way down. I don't know, I don't remember.

I could tell it was coming, and I hate that. I get migraines, but they aren't typical migraines. I don't really get the headache part, but I sure do get the aura. My head gets all stuffy, and its like time goes into slow motion. And I can't hear. It's like my head is inside a balloon. I could see people talking around me, but their mouths were just moving; I couldn't hear a thing. I knew I was headed for trouble...I start to sweat, get more and more stuffy and then my vision starts to go. The last time I had one of these wonderful episodes was about two years ago when I was still working at my travelling job and I totally freaked out my co-worker I was having dinner with. I didn't pass out that time, but almost. She wanted to take me to the ER. I told her no way.

But tonight I was by myself and how embarrassing, a complete stranger helped pick me up off the ground. A teen Christian rock band (the Oswald Brothers, very good, I am going to go check them out on myspace.com and get back to you) had just finished playing and they came running over too, along with their mom. How embarrassing...I was sooooooo embarrassed. I tried to convince them I was OK probably just a tad before I really was OK, but then it passes as suddenly as it comes on, and I'm OK; but it stinks. I do have an appointment with my primary care doc next week, so I guess I will be communicating my health issues with the same honesty that I insisted my mother do so at her appointment.

Now I'll probably get a headache from where I hit my head; there is a bit of an egg.

Tomorrow I have an early morning; radio first thing, a TV taping in the afternoon, and another radio interview tomorrow night. So I am going to go put ice on my head and curl up and go to sleep.

Sweet Dreams!

Swimming in the Susquehanna

Nicole and her friend Cassie braved the Susquehanna River yesterday. I was ready to give her Cipro before she went in, I haven't been encouraged by what I have heard about the cleanliness of the river, but they had a ball. And I absolutely am suffering from fourth child syndrome.

We picnicked at a campsite along the river and ate delicious food...(back to that nasty topic) but I'm kind of with you on the eat small, satisfying morsels of what is really, really good. And that was what I did. I managed to go for a walk and have a pretty low key day.

But I made up for it today. I am just beat. A doctor's appointment with my mom, several errands, getting Matt psyched and out the door for school and a long walk followed by some door to door Sheetz coupon selling for a fundraiser for Nicole...

And tomorrow I am leaving for Atlanta till Sunday and haven't packed a thing and have to take my mom to another appointment tomorrow...and still work out some logistics for getting my dad to several appointments while I am away. I am definitely feeling the squeeze of the sandwich.

Once I land tomorrow, I promise to give more entertaining and contemplative observations about what it is like to take a non-compliant but complaining mother to the doctor...but for now I am hitting the sack minus the Ben and Jerry's. No, I do not need it!

Ben and Jerry's and Midnight Snacks...

Pathetic. There is Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream front and center. I am not tempted by the Italian Ice or Frozen Yogurt, just the Ice Cream. This must be one of temptations that is "common to man" (or at least woman). I have a real problem with ice cream, chocolate ice cream in particular. Especially late at night. It all started when I couldn't get to sleep (again). Maybe too much coffee? If I want to develop a healthy lifestyle, I need to cut out some of that too. Too much caffeine. Ouch. More painful than nixxing the ice cream. And it continued when I had to go potty (because I have been faithful drinking lots of water). Well, the girls were sleeping downstairs and the TV was still on, so I went down to piddle and turn off the TV, and well, the freezer just acted like a magnet. The ice cream practically jumped out of the freezer and into my hands. The spoon was even there.

So I didn't just slam the freezer door, I went right ahead and my "one little taste" turned into at least a serving, and since this flavor is "Everything But the Kitchen Sink" it has over 300 calories a serving. Sitting right there next to all those healthy veggies...

I was tempted beyond what I could bear, and I suppose the way out was not to buy it in the first place. I knew I couldn't resist...but it was at the Surplus Outlet for only $1.50 pint. Less than half price! Better than when we lived in Vermont years ago and could get it cheap cheap at the store (they sold factory seconds because there was too much air whipped in...).

I was smarter the last time. I satisfied my bargain shopper by buying it and then I left it all in Chris' freezer.

Contrary to what I may want to believe, chocolate is not a food group and fat laden ice cream is not an appropriate source of calcium. I am taking the rest to Chris' today, and putting the broccoli front and center. I doubt I will bother with that at 11:30 at night.