Friday Notes...

Hoping you had a wonderful Thanksgiving. I wanted to post some of our photos from yesterday and today, but the computer isn't cooperating...so they will have to wait.

We are going up to New Hampshire today until Sunday, returning in time to watch the NE Patriots on TV. I may have to enroll in a chapter of bloggers anonymous because I am certain there won't be Internet.

Highlights include:

• A stroll with Howie around the Brown University Campus where Memory Lane would more aptly have been called Alzheimer's Alley. We couldn't remember where anything was.
• A wonderful meal (that I didn't have to cook) including the most delicious squash souffle I have ever tasted. Yum.
• Time with Howie's sister and her family, his aunt and uncle who we haven't seen for years.
  Sleeping in.

We did end up going to the mall today (Friday). I had vowed to stay away from all shopping today. The appeal of an incredible bargain does not outweigh the hassle of traffic, crowds and tired, cranky people (shoppers and sales people).

But a kind of tradition has established itself. When we come to visit the cousins, we also go to the mall to build a build a bear. I think I just managed to hit the timing sweet spot between the early morning insanity and the normal hour frenzy. There was no traffic (when we left they needed two police to direct traffic), we found a great place to park immediately and there were no lines in Build a Bear. The most time consuming part of the shopping expedition was waiting for Nicole to make a decision, and that is nothing new or unique to Black Friday. I can actually say it was fun.

So I am going to take a deep breath and gear up for an unplugged weekend.
Peace, Kathy

Off For the Weekend...

Hoping you had a wonderful Thanksgiving. I wanted to post some of our photos from yesterday and today, but the computer isn't cooperating...so they will have to wait.

We are going up to New Hampshire today until Sunday, returning in time to watch the NE Patriots on TV. I may have to enroll in a chapter of bloggers anonymous because I am certain there won't be Internet.

Highlights include:

• A stroll with Howie around the Brown University Campus where Memory Lane would more aptly have been called Alzheimer's Alley. We couldn't remember where anything was.
• A wonderful meal (that I didn't have to cook) including the most delicious squash souffle I have ever tasted. Yum.
• Time with Howie's sister and her family, his aunt and uncle who we haven't seen for years.
• Sleeping in.

We did end up going to the mall today. I had vowed to stay away from all shopping today. The appeal of an incredible bargain does not outweigh the hassle of traffic, crowds and tired, cranky people (shoppers and sales people).

But a kind of tradition has established itself. When we come to visit the cousins, we also go to the mall to build a build a bear. I think I just managed to hit the timing sweet spot between the early morning insanity and the normal hour frenzy. There was no traffic (when we left they needed two police to direct traffic), we found a great place to park immediately and there were no lines in Build a Bear. The most time consuming part of the shopping expedition was waiting for Nicole to make a decision, and that is nothing new or unique to Black Friday. I can actually say it was fun.

So I am going to take a deep breath and gear up for an unplugged weekend.

Peace, Kathy

Happy Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving. May it be a peaceful day of laughter, friendship, love and for those who care, football!

Some simple thoughts for the day:

• Does your family know you care? Tell them.
• Did someone else cook? Thank them!
• Did a simple pleasure surprise you? Delight in it.
• Is there a smile inside you? Share it.

And then continue with these small gestures every day.

A few things I am personally thankful for:

• I got to sleep in this morning.
• Howie and I and the girls have six days off together and with his sister and her family.
• My girls and their youngest cousin are happily playing together.
• The very large, local mall is closed which eliminates a visit to Build A Bear Workshop which has somehow taken on tradition when we come here.
• I got to see my editor and his wife in Hartford yesterday on our way through (and they live in TN, so that was a blessing) and share my passionate beliefs about my Bible Study. I will have an opportunity to once again share with the committee by phone next Wednesday.
• My parents are still living.

May we keep each other in thoughts of love. Jodie has been a silent voice. I am sending a special prayer her way for her brother and her family.

Peace.

A Full and Fabulous Day

So what can I say? All my days are full, but today was fabulous because I got to enjoy really nice, relaxed time with three of my four children and there wasn't much bickering. Hardly any at all...

I went shopping with the girls, there wasn't any fighting, reasonable choices, both in style and by cost were made, and I even bought myself a pair of pink shoes at Old Navy. In case you didn't know this or hadn't figured it out, I love hot pink!

I got some really affirming emails regarding the Bible study (stick to what you believe in, be true to your voice, etc.) and had a great day with the girls.

Then I had a great evening visit with Matt. He seems to be over the pain hump with his broken rib. Please continue to support him as you do through your thoughts and prayers. He is going through some inner struggle regarding important decisions regarding his future: relationships, career choice, location etc. knowing the first order of business is to recover from the rib, finish his internship, have wrist surgery and then...the rest. We had a wonderful visit with conversation, thoughts, dreams, desires, etc. and I have a great sense of joy and pride in where he seems to be at at the moment. He is giving very strong consideration to working with Second Nature, the Therapeutic Wilderness program that was transformational for him in 2002. This could very well end up being one of those very cool full circle stories...time will tell.

And then I got great news from my dear, hilarious and exceptionally talented friend Connie today letting me know she had all three of the stories she sent in to a Chicken Soup book accepted. Way to go Connie! We want to write a book together. Humor, of course and for moms and then we figure we can go on the Connie and Kathy travelling road show...dreams are always worth having.

A great day of simple pleasures. Make sure you take time for those in your own life.

Peace.

Do you Have Four Minutes?

I know, I know. It (meaning our frenzied, crazy way too full lives and world we live in) has gotten so over the top, that you probably are answering in your head, "No, I don't have four minutes". I almost responded the same way, but thankfully I didn't.

I promise you a dose of serenity if you take four and immerse yourself in the world the following link brings you to.

Because I am a techno peasant the link isn't active (HELP!) but go ahead and give your fingers some exercise and type the link.

Blessings.



http://www.naturesinspirationmovie.com/

Thoughts on Perseverance...

First, I am struggling (still about the Bible Study)...so I am asking for your prayers.

I really want to do the right thing and not create chaos and bad feelings, but perseverance seems to be the overarching message. I have such intense feelings about the cover and title that I am teetering towards some pretty drastic decisions. But to me, accurately reflecting my thoughts, my heart and reaching the audience I hope to reach is drastic business in the realm of Kingdom work. No wonder I am up against opposition. Please pray that I have the courage and strength to stand behind my convictions, which are original title, bold cover or no deal. I would walk away from the contract, return my advance and any money they paid to edit the MS. I truly feel this is the decision I am called to abide by. This will take perseverance on my part, and that's where the prayer comes in...so I thank you in advance!

I opened up the book of James this morning. Our pastor just finished a set of messages based on James, and it is just such practical wisdom and timely, not only in our times, today almost 2,000 years after it was written, but timely in my life right here, right now. I love how the Bible meets me where I am with sage comfort, (and sometimes harsh directives!). My job then is to take a deep breath, know that God is with me, believe that God is with me (which sometimes is harder) and go forth and walk as closely as I am able (and believe me, sometimes I am staggering...) to what he says. As my friend Lorianne would say, Oiysh Kabibbles (as in Kibble from Kibbles and Bits).

"Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him" (James 1:12).

So I am being tested. Will I have the strength to hold to my beliefs with a publishing board who wants to tame the message? Will I lose friendships based on this perseverance? That thought distresses me... But am I here to please man (in this case the men of the committee) or God, who I feel has called me to really get thinking about who Jesus us and being the church rather than going to church.

I just received another endorsement for the study and cover and title feedback from a leader at Granger Community Church in Indiana. She took the time to read the study, write an endorsement and then send a long, honest email with her thoughts. I have been running my own quasi focus group and the results are prompting me to say this is not over. So please pray as I am sure that nasty devil thought he could dismiss me as a wimp when I more or less caved last week when the committee of gentlemen who I respect tremendously called and surprised me with a conference call to talk about titling and cover art when I was one foot out the door to pick up the girls for swimming. Now I am sure he will be back causing more chaos wherever possible. He has bugged my kids enough, I would prefer to have them left out of this round.

How come no one talks about this kind of stuff at writer's conferences? Uh-oh, pop there goes the light bulb, another idea...reconciliation (a wonderful Jesus and Mennonite belief) in the publishing world.

Have a wonderful day.

It's Eleven O'Clock...

I remember a TV commercial from when I was growing up: "It's ten o'clock, do you know where your children are?"

Well, it's eleven o'clock and they fell asleep on the floor. I am close behind and hope to make it upstairs and to bed before I collapse...Howie gave out awhile ago. He tried to get up at like three or four this morning (he is working on a book chapter) but didn't haul his weary body out of bed till about seven...way too late for his taste. He disappeared awhile ago, aiming to make it earlier tomorrow.

Last night I went to hear Tony Campolo speak in Lancaster with three friends from church. He and his wife spoke on Christianity and Homosexuality and did a masterful job at debate, expressing love and concern and renewing my hope that it is possible to disagree on issues (as he and his wife do) but still have healthy and respectful discussion. I found the discussion to be compassionate and mind stretching and a challenge for all of us who call ourselves Christians to communicate in such a way that Christ is evident in us. A challenge, for sure, one I believe the church has failed miserably at for some time now.

I am tired. And other people have commented on that too. "Kathy, are you OK, you look tired?" Yes, I am fine, and yes I am tired, which is why this is a short post.

My girls are now off school till next Monday (through Monday, would you believe in PA they get the first day of hunting season off?!?!?)

The plan for tomorrow is parent teacher conference (to learn Nicole may be capable of a notch more) and blood work to see if I am still anemic (I am after all tired all the time, I know, I know...it's no wonder, driving off two hours and getting lost late at night to hear Tony C. speak...) and then a day of shopping, Tianna's primary birthday gift. I am not sure I am looking forward to this anymore than I was to the party...maybe it will snow and we can hunker down!

Peace.

Friendship...

I've been thinking a lot about friendship...and with the arrival of The One Year Women's Friendship Devotional by Cheri Fuller and Sandra Aldrich decided it would be a great time to share some of my thoughts. I have been selected to feature this book as part of a blog tour for this newly released devotional from Tyndale.

I value my friendships. All of my friendships. But I know I'm not always the best at conveying my appreciation of that friendship. There are some friends that I can be out of touch with for several years, even, and then simply pick up the relationship where it was left off. I love that!

Then there are other friendships that last just for a season. Sometimes time just passes and drifting occurs. Other times there is a precipitating event that causes a rift. When those friendships pass it is very, very painful.

The authors of the devotional write, "Nothing is more refreshing than time spent with a girlfriend, and who doesn't need that? A friend can quiet our fears, pray for and with us. We all need friends to laugh with." I love that! And isn't it true? A friend can quiet our fears and pray for and with us.

I think about the friendships represented even just here in the conversation on this blog between those of us who post (readers are always welcome to share their thoughts!) We do that, don't we? Encourage each other and pray for each other. We share our thoughts, concerns, challenges, fears and joys. We challenge each other. We are friends.

I admit to being type A. I like lists, crossing things off gives me added affirmation. This devotional contains great stories, ties the stories to Scripture to strengthen our friendship with God and then includes questions for reflection at the end.

As we race through life, take the time to cultivate your friendships with others, including God. This book provides some structure (not rigid, but just right) to help make sure our friendships will grow and blossom.

A friend loves at all times. -Proverbs 17:17. May I communicate love to my friends through my words and deeds. I know this resource will help me do so.

Happy 81st BIrthday, Mom!

Today is my mom's 81st birthday. I have been calling her just about every day. She sounds so happy when she picks up the phone and hears my voice. It makes me cry. They are tears of joy, sorrow and confusion...tears that express my sadness at the realization that with each passing day, our journey through life brings us all one day closer to her death. And I don't deal with that very well.

She lost her dad and never recovered from that loss. She was six; and has told me the story of how she comforted her own mother in that loss. "Don't worry, it will be OK. I will take care of you." No six year old should become the parent, the caregiver, the consoler. She needed her father as my grandmother needed her husband. But he was gone...

The representatives of God, who was there always, did a poor job of representing Him and He was shut out. Their father, their papa was gone, and the idea or belief in a heavenly father never filled the open wound in their hearts. My mom is still mourning her father's death. And that also fills me with sadness.

Because I have been working in nursing homes with my new job, it also reminds me of the time my grandmother spent in such a home away from home when she herself and later family members were no longer able to take care of her. My mom always patiently and lovingly visited and cared for her, even as her condition from Alzheimer's deteriorated. My mother is scared to death that she will develop dementia and it frightens me also at times. But for now that fear is replaced by the joy I hear in her voice when I talk to her on the phone. Why is it so difficult to maintain that joy when she comes to visit?

And now I am working in a nursing home, where I see aging people in poor health. And lonely. For some reason Nicole and her friend Cassie decided today to make Thanksgiving cards for the nursing home patients I may interact with on Monday next week. They decided that spontaneously. It was one of those affirming moments to me as a mom that maybe a message of caring and kindness that I try to impart is actually getting through...I hope so.

So I hope my mom doesn't let her birthday get her down. 80 was a big mental hurdle for her. But I continue to applaud her independent (sometimes to a fault) life. And am so glad she had a great day.

My Day in Tunkhannock

I had another one of those Divine touches today. And I was in desperate need, because I left my house at about 6 am to drive my dad to the bus in Wilkes Barre and then continue on to work in Tunkhannock. Since I can't bear the thought of writing that full word each time, (my spell checker, I am certain will NOT know what to do with it...) I will refer to it simply as "T". I didn't know where T. was; let me tell you it is not exactly close to Danville.

I arrived at the nursing home around 8:15 raring to go and realized I had not brought my paperwork (forms to complete based on patient charts) with me. No forms. Oh, and did I mention I had also left without my purse? No wallet which meant no money for things like coffee, lunch but more importantly gas to get home. I admit to becoming momentarily nervous. We flew out of the house rather suddenly when my dad realized his bus left earlier than he thought and my margin for snow, potty breaks and traffic evaporated. Stress propelled me out the door without the things I needed to complet my day. How stupid is that?

I took a deep breath, did that pray thing that used to make me so uncomfortable and called the nurse who trained me last week. She cheerfully faxed me a copy of the form, and I became best friends with the xerox machine.

Then I was introduced to the administrator. Now I was 87 miles away from home, and it was a former dental hygienist from my old dentist. She recognized my name immediately and welcomed me to work in her office, complete with coffee and private bathroom, and floated me gas money (which I ended up not needing) for my trip home.

I could only smile.

Two Celebrations of Life

Today I was privileged to participate in two celebrations of life.

One celebrated the life of Paul Thomas in a Memorial Service of his life. Paul was 65 and the father of my dear friend and babysitter extraordinaire, Abby. Abby was also a faithful pray-er for me, long before I appreciated her efforts. She would say to me, "Kathy I am praying for you" and well, it just made me feel uncomfortable. I didn't realize what a gift she was imprting.

Yes, there were many tears and also grief in his passing from this life to the next. But there was also hope; hope that through the bond of faith the family will be reunited in the time and space of eternity. That is the hope the family will hold close that through the bond of Christ this is a temporary separation. We listened to the song by Mercy Me, "I Can Only Imagine" and as I listened I closed my eyes to try to imagine just a glimpse of what that time in a place called Heaven will be like. And how I long to share that with the people I care about.

My dad came with me. He is here for a couple of doctor appointments. It is his turn for health crisis. He has a horrible rash, I mean omigosh red...all over that he had assumed was hives, stress or an allergic reaction to medication. His dermatologist (not Howie) didn't think it was any of them, but was reluctant to venture a guess without biopsy results.

The funeral was tough for him, because he is at an age (80) where he is losing friends. It starts to hit really close to home and brings thoughts of "What am I here for?" "Have I accomplished what I was supposed to in this life?""Where do I go next?" But it also brought connection through contemplation and discussion of these haunting questions, haunting because there is uncertainty in the answers...And also close to home because now he has health issues, and he is scared. But he believes in God, and that is a wonderful connection point for discussion.

The other celebrated my friend Janis' victory over breast cancer. Janis invited several of her friends and supporters through her illness to a high tea. It was just a wonderful event of delectable finger foods, feeling special and celebrating life.

Janis is the last person on the right. So many of her friends from different spheres of her life were there to join her in this victorious celebration.

Now here is something really bizarre. I was talking to a friend of mine seated at this table, while facing the woman in pink. As I was speaking to my friend, I kept staring at this woman, while feeling somewhat confused and disoriented. I was so distracted I couldn't pay attention to my friend I was speaking to. We locked eyes and both came to the same stunning realization at the same time. We were both at Paul's service earlier today. She entered the chapel at the same time we did and sat directly in front of us. It gave me chills. I had to excuse myself from my conversation and get a handle on how we both could be at two such different yet similar events miles (about 50) apart in the course of the same day, celebrating the lives of two special people.

And this is Betty, Janis' mother, who I first met at a writer's conference several years ago. She also recently experienced a serious health scare and the fact that she was here today sharing in this celebration was nothing short of miraculous.

What a blessing to celebrate and support friends in their grief and joy, in their searching for answers and gratitude. For together being a part of God's family

Busted by Nicole...

Yesterday I was busted by Nicole in my purge and prune efforts. And here's the progress. We both handled it with much grace.

We went to HUF (Hand Up Foundation) to drop off an entire car load of recycling, mine plus a friend's. It was alarming to see how much waste just two families generated in a relatively short period of time, I think it may have only been a couple of weeks. And my friend didn't even include paper...

After we dropped off the recycling we went upstairs to shop for a skirt for Tianna, who has a manners mixer on Monday. She doesn't own a skirt...and we didn't find one at HUF either.

What we, no excuse me, Nicole did find, however were three items that I had previously purged from our home that she wasn't ready to part with but probably wouldn't have missed had she not come nose to nose with them. Ugh. Busted.

So what did I do? Since I had barrelled on ahead and disposed of her stuff without permission (I violated her boundaries) I did what any unreasonably reasonable mother would do and bought them back. No fighting, no arguing, a simple apology and acknowledgment that I had crossed the line.

What line have you crossed lately?

Telemarketing for God

I am enjoying a quiet morning at home, catching up on some reading, writing and finding lost objects in my office. Then the phone rang. It sounded like my friend, Belinda, but it wasn't. It was a telemarketer.

But this one was different. She was pleasant, had a great laugh, and I didn't mind talking to her. And it may have turned out to be one of those God moments.

OK, I know you're probably rolling your eyes and thinking, good grief, Kathy, how do you spiritualize a telemarketing phone call and turn it into an outreach conversation. But you will probably discover, if you haven't already, that I can spin just about anything into a connecting point with others.

But here is what came to mind. And back to Shane Claiborne and his observation that Christians act the same as everyone else. I wouldn't particularly enjoy being a telemarketer (only a collection agent ranks lower in my mind...and Matt recently got a phone call from one of them regarding a hospital bill he didn't even know he had) but as Christians we shouldn't respond by being rude, snapping at the poor voice on the other end of the line, or any other number of exasperated, cranky ways.

I listened to what the fun gal had to say, and actually noted that we didn't need any of the services she was offering as we were doing OK. She remarked that God had been good to us, I agreed, we laughed together, connected and I invited her to visit the blog. I hope she does.

And if she does, I hope she comments. But I think the conversation put a smile into both of our days.

Party Reflections

I think I might be experiencing a small touch of writer's block...or maybe it is just fatigue. Twice last night I started to post and fell asleep both times. OK, so I was in a comfy position propped up with pillows all around me and it was on the later side, a setting more conducive to nodding off.

I have been giving some thought to the birthday bash we had here Saturday. We left everything pretty much up to Tianna and some learning opportunities have come out of the experience. That's a kinder gentler way of saying maybe we made a couple of mistakes.

I was amazed at the number of kids, now these are twelve year olds...yes, decidedly pre-teen and going on 17, who had cell phones and texted away, maybe even to each other while they were at the party. That is what the above group of four spent a fair amount of time doing.

• Would it be unreasonable to ban cell phones? Presumable they are coming to hang out with the birthday girl (or boy) and instead they are texting away. What if they are texting someone who wasn't invited and their feelings are hurt?

We left the invitation list totally up to Tianna. She has transitioned to the Middle School and apparently has a pretty wide circle of new friends. I want to welcome her friends into my home, and have no problem doing so when I am home. Anyway, I want to get to know her friends. It will be very important over the next few years.

• I wasn't always impressed with what I saw and heard, despite the weird, awkward water testing age. But I do know there were a couple of old friends that weren't included, and while I felt I needed to let go of the fact that it wasn't my party, I was sad that they might have been hurt. I did bring it up for discussion, kindness is a quality I value and want to nurture in my children.

News travels fast. Well, that hasn't changed. I had an uncomfortable experience of deja vu. Years ago Howie and I and the girls, (or maybe it was even before Nicole was born, but I don't think so), went to Banff for one of his meetings. We asked Chris who was home from college that summer to feed the animals, etc. Well, it wasn't long before the word got around that the parents were away and our house became a playground. Word gets out.

• Well, the word got out this time on a smaller scale, but one that still had repercussions. One girl announced that all the girls were invited to sleepover. We told her she could have four. Eleven ended up not wanting to budge. There was a high drama melt down and a lot of "she said, she said" nonsense. Pre-adult female cattiness at its worst. I gathered them all up and gave them an ultimatum. Be kind, stop the nasty chatter, or go home. It worked out.
  

There were delightful moments of friendship but had the group been smaller there would have been more. Tianna is in the middle.

Next year we will be having a small gathering.

My hat does go off to Howie who spent a lot of time planning challenges for the kids to complete in teams and while that lasted, it was great. But he started before we had the pizza (a mistake) so that when we took a break to eat, they never really got back into the competition of it.

The most fun were the spontaneous eruptions of games, like touch football with Chris (oldest brother) serving as the QB in the yard, but only about ten (out of 28) played.

• I'm glad we responded to her desire to have a transitional party for her 12th birthday and first year in the Middle School, but I think it will be the last.

The Highs and Lows of My Weekend

This weekend was full of highs and lows.

I will start with the highs:

• Tianna's birthday was Saturday, and Matt came home from Ithaca to be at her party. Chris also came, and it was just fun to see them all together.
• We had a fun birthday party for Tianna attended by 28 sixth graders at our house (don't worry, it appears on the low list too).
• Today's message in church was another powerful one from the book of James, on being a peacemaker. Our pastor spoke about peace making and peace taking relationships and how difficult it is to really walk in the posture of a peacemaker. Characteristics of Peacemaking relationships are that they are pure, peaceful, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and secures. Contrast this with peace taking relationships which are characterized by bitterness, envy, selfish ambition, evil and disorder. It was another one of those messages that I felt was "just for me".
• I had a car load of twelve year old girls tell me I rocked and they sang a song of gratitude for me at the top of their lungs.
• I caught glimpses of the sun rays peeking out from behind clouds.

Now the lows:

• Eleven of the sixth graders, most of the girls, stayed over for a sleep over. We had one high drama incident which made me want to pull my hair out, but we got through it. Yes, of course I know that is way too many hormonal sixth grade crazed girls to have for a sleepover, but how that happened is a story for another day when I am not quite so shot.
• I spent time reflecting on Tianna's birth mother, and that is always an emotional place for me to go. I appreciate her selfless gift of her daughter more than I can express. But my heart is full of compassion for her. I know in Vietnam poverty often drives the decision to abandon a baby for adoption, but I think of her birth mom and wonder what her thoughts are about her daughter, especially on her birthday.
• For other reasons, November 15th is also a very sad, difficult day for me, but that is also a story for another day.

That really is just the overview. I was astonished at how many of the kids had cell phones and had them at the party. That is worth a post in and of itself...

And in terms of my sadness, I will close with words my friend and blog reader Pam wrote and passed to me in church today: "As hard as it is, Jesus want us (I think) to get to the point where if our spouse (or whoever) never connected emotionally with us again, we would find our fill and satisfaction in Jesus." I know that is true, but I also know it is hard; very hard.

Bunco and Hanging out with Neighbors

Here is the link I promised yesterday for a great blog I have discovered on being missional in our way of life and worship: www.jeffgoins.myadventures.org.

Tonight was Bunco night. Bunco is a dice game and has made its debut in our neighborhood and is now three months strong. I am so glad one of the gals got this started. For all my talk about loving one's neighbor, why didn't I think of this? It is fun and a great reason to get together. It is a fast moving dice game which allows for plenty of interaction between the participants. There is lots of conversation, good food, and usually a glass of red wine.

Last month I got carried away and stayed out till two. I didn't feel so hot the next day, but I got to know two of my neighbors really well. It was a beautiful time of deep sharing; and an opportunity to apologize to one of them. I had been judgmental which in and of itself is wrong, but on top of that, my perceptions, which had shaped my reality of who I thought she was were also wrong. What we shared was heartfelt and sincere discussion well into the night that was soul searing and magical. It was honest, gutsy and true community. All because a bunch of neighborhood women got together to play a dice game. How much better is this than a church program? To me this was real outreach.

C is for Church...

What is church? That question actually came up on another blog I have stumbled upon. Now, that must mean I have an over abundant amount of time, if I have time to wander and meander around in cyberspace linking to like minded blogs, which is why it is probably a good thing I went to work today...Now I know you are wondering, what blog is that? And since I am now brain dead and don't have the link at my fingertips, I am going to defer the answer till tomorrow. But in the meantime, I will pose that same question here. What is church?

This is what I wrote about church in my upcoming title contested Bible Study:

C is for CHURCH

Church is:

1. The place you drag your kids kicking and screaming on Sunday mornings because that is what “good” families do.
2. The really, really pretty building with stained glass windows that you go to twice a year (Christmas and Easter, in case you weren’t sure…) that is your ticket to heaven.
3. The place where the ladies with blue hair and too many pearls go on Sunday mornings so they can catch up on a week’s worth of gossip.
4. Those of us who serve as Christ’s hands and feet here on Earth. Through service we demonstrate that we are part of the body of Christ and His committed followers on Earth.

I remember vividly the day I went to church, for real, for the first time…the first time I sensed that church was more than four walls. It was a gathering place for the followers of Jesus, committed to serving him as part of his body. For the first time I experienced the true definition of church, a group of people who served as his hands and feet here on earth.

It was an A-Ha moment. And I was in my forties.

Peace.

News On Poverty and Outreach

I have to admit I am a little more wild and crazy about the scope of outreach, poverty, how to make a difference, and social justice since coming home from NOC. If I lose the fire, will someone please slap me? Is that too harsh? It is too easy to become complacent, so I may need a firm reminder. Verbal slapping is fine too, as long as you speak the truth in love. I guess that makes it more of a swat. Anyway, enough of that.

I subscribe to Outreach Magazine, which is the print publication arm of the organization that hosted the convention. I want to share two excerpts from the latest issue of the magazine which arrived two days ago, and I carry with me everywhere now, trying to read five minutes here, five minutes there...

"The best intervention for churches is not to try to save the world. It is to find what is working already and serve the people who are making it happen." Charles N. North and Bob Smiletana, Good Intentions: Nine Hot-Button Issues Viewed Through he Eyes of Faith. I probably should add this to my already too long reading list (if I cant' find more than five minutes to read a magazine, when on earth am I going to read a book, never mind that I have contracts to write two, and so many ideas swirling around in my head it is giving me a headache).
Anyway, I think my church, Community Mennonite Fellowship in Milton, PA does a good job of this, and is becoming better and better at it all the time. We are developing a close partnership with Hand Up Foundation (OK so some of you are probably getting tired of hearing about them, but they are just right on target...) and are now in conversation (our church leadership) with forming a Social Needs Response Team that can partner with folks already involved in building those relationships for transformation by meeting needs and serving.

I absolutely believe that one person can make a difference. Are you? Just food for thought.

Another quote from the same magazine excerpted from Reckless Faith Let Go and Be Led by Beth Guckenberger, states, "It's too easy for those of us who work with the poor to forget to address their poverty. We work around them or on behalf of them but often we still don't know how they live or how to help. We have a responsibility to be God's hand and feet in their lives, for God cares about their hungry bellies, hurting fee, bug-infested beds and runny noses." I went to a great workshop at NOC which dealt specifically with ministry to the poor. The session was titled, "Understanding Poverty in the Pursuit of Souls: Outreach to the Poor." It was excellent and given by Sadell and Sherman Bradley who serve in the Cincinnati area with Equipping Ministires International and City Gospel Mission respectively.

We must build relationships with these folks too, not simply toss our discarded leftovers in their direction. It's one of those push you out of your comfort zone things, but one with huge impact for giver and receiver. Don't be afraid to ask them how they are, invite them for a meal, invest a little bit of time. Like I remarked in my comment to Weekend Musings, becoming homeless is a lot closer as a personal reality, if not for us, then certainly for someone we know than we believe.

Find someone to bless today.
Peace.

Continued Exhaustion...

I am still really, really tired. I know crisscrossing the country doesn't help, but I am just whooped. But obviously I suffer from a bit of OCD, because I can't not post before tucking in under the covers.

I did want to post last night, but then the wind just got taken completely out of my sails. My editor emailed me the sell sheet and cover for my upcoming Bible Study.I tried to upload the image here, but it didn't work...

First, my title was changed, and apparently that happened a while ago, but I just found out last night. I asked if the cover design was done, because I met someone at NOC who is going to give me feedback. So, instead of UnDoing Church: Not Your Mother's Bible Study, they eliminated the second part and replaced it with 'Preparing for Worship". Then, there are dual images on the cover of a woman with her hands in prayer position and on the bottom opened in worship position. But it just isn't in sync with my style,voice or content.

I had to step back and stop hyperventilating. At one point Howie said something in his characteristic dry wit, and I just started to cry. I have really high hopes for this study, but in its original conception with the sassy title and all. As a matter of fact, it is that sassy title that garnered all the endorsement support I have gotten.

I slept on it and didn't wake up feeling any better, so I called my editor who was sympathetic and encouraged me to be in contact with the committee...

So what else is new, and why won't I be able to join Pam for coffee this week? Because I got a new very part time job that involves driving to Scranton and doing chart reviews, and Monday and Friday are committed writing days. I have a wonderful and peaceful quiet spot. I just have to get there, and some days that mobilization can be a real battle.

I want to see if I can figure out how I can show you what the cover image is. If you are willing to share your honest opinion (which I am going to do with my editorial board) drop me an email and I will attach the image to an email.

Blessings, Kathy

Weekend Musings...

Yesterday I spent ALL day getting from the West Coast back home. I was hoping to be bumped (again, OK, so call me greedy...) but wasn't successful. But I did have really interesting conversation in Chicago during a lengthy layover.

It was just what my soul needed. I called a friend to talk about some of the amazing thoughts, ideas and beliefs reverberating inside my head and mentioned Erwin McManus' name on the phone. Well, it turns out someone who wasn't even supposed to be in the Chicago airport at that moment in time, let alone within ear shot of my conversation overheard me simply mention my name and decided to hang out and introduce himself. His name is Jeremy and he was just on his way home from Amsterdam. He had worked there as a missionary and church planter for eight years and as a matter of fact knows Bob and Mim Phillips, missionaries our church supports. We had a wonderfully encouraging conversation that was a blessing to both of us.

Then I also had a conversation with a couple of guys from a United Church of Christ that a pretty fundamentalist guy eavesdropped on and made his opinions known. It didn't represent the love of Christ to me and left me feeling very awkward. It just didn't seem quite right to be finger pointing so early in the conversation...

I was happy to hug it up with my family when I got home. The house did look like a category five storm had swept through and I have the pictures to prove it, too, but decided to pass on those for the time being.

Worship was magnificent this morning, but soul piercing for me. I have come away from the last three days with a much deeper appreciation for how much God loves me, and how pathetic I am at sharing that love with others. It prompted me to decide that I think I may agree to share one morning while our pastor is on sabbatical about love and I Corinthians 13. Bart Campolo's tag line on his blog is: Love God. Love People. That's all that matters. What are your thoughts about that? Too little? Does it cover it all? But raw love that is patient and kind, doesn't hold a grudge and doesn't keep score of wrongs is a rare thing.

And then in the evening I participated in a prayer and discernment gathering for a non-traditional church plant that a group of us from my church have been gestating for nine months now. I am dancing the Moses Dance big time, let me tell you... Who me?A church planter? No thanks, I don't think so...but the more I immerse myself in this process the more strongly drawn I feel. Big sigh.

In the meantime I have scheduled two writing days a week at a local basilica as my retreat home not too far away from home.

Peace.

Be a Pencil in God's Hand

"We are all pencils in the hand of a writing God, Who is sending love letters to the world."

-Mother Teresa

May God sharpen your point, erase your mistakes and use your story to communicate love to a world in desperate need.

Shalom.

Exhausted but Exhilerated

When I packed to come out to CA I almost brought my exercise clothes with me. Appropriate clothes to get outside for a walk, or go to the exercise room at the hotel (I am in a vintage looks like 1950's Travelodege that doesn't have an exercise room-a testimony to my frugality...) But I didn't. And that was a good move. I am on the move from early in the morning to late at night. And I was smart enough to recognize that that would probably be the case without heaping guilt on myself for another unmet expectation.

I am tired. Part of that is the time difference. Now that I am finally acclimated it will be time to return home.

But more than that I am exhilarated. I have had the opportunity to be in sessions and conversations with great faith representatives who are living out lives of grace and are willingly sharing of their experiences. I am popping with hope and ideas. What a gift! Over the next few days I will unpack some of what I have learned. In the meantime it is time for another full day...

Peace and grace to you wherever you are in your journey.

True Love

True love is so much more than giddy emotion or feeling enamored with someone else because they happen to agree with us or we are temporarily or perhaps permanently on the same page as someone else. It is full of hard things like sacrifice, endurance, perseverance and zero expectations. Wow, that's pretty different than the happily ever after story of love I was exposed to as a young child, or the conditional love I have felt from so many for so much of my life. It is time, as followers of Christ that we move to that space where we love in the way of Jesus. And that is hard.

The following is written and excerpted from Jon Walker's devotional at gracecreates.com.

We know that we have passed from death to life, because we love our brothers. Anyone who does not love remains in death. 1 John 3:14 (NIV)

Our love for one another is the fruit, not the root, of our relationship with God.

We are transformed from people who are selective in whom and how we love into people energized by God’s Spirit to love one another abundantly and unconditionally.

It takes faith to love another with God-love flowing into us.

Love starts with God. God loved you first, and your ability to love others comes from your connection with God. God loved you; now, you love others, and that allows others to see God in you (1 John 4:11–12).

Hangin' In and Out in Chicago

Today I am off to San Diego.

My day started pretty early. 3:43 am and the alarm went off. Actually it is so early that it can still be considered late, that in between netherworld time that even the nocturnal creatures are off to zzzzzzz land. But my alarm went off uneventfully and I was so tired I didn't even have a restless pre-trip worried about the alarm not going off night's sleep.

Nicole did come in to give me an extra special huggie hugie when she went to the bathroom at 1 am and I felt like I had been asleep for hours. That was a really good sign.

I broke several speed records leaving the house: showered, coffeed and off all inside of moments. Of course it helps that I fly out of a dinkie airport and can arrive close to departure time and be just fine.

No oversold on the first flight for me, but they did need to have four of us in the first three rows re-seat in the rear of the aircraft for weight and balance issues. I got an entire row to myself, put on the blindfolds, snuggled into my pillow and woke up as we were approaching Chicago Obama land.

I stopped at Starbucks (a favorite airport ritual) called home, and wound my way to the gate, where my luck in the oversold department changed. I had just gotten in line to inquire as to the possibility of an oversold flight and the need for volunteers when the gate agent made just that announcement. For once I was in the right place at the right time...And a good thing, too. They took several names but only needed one and that one would be moi. Yipee. I absolutely love getting bumped. So I am flying on a free ticket, and now have another. I may bring Nicole along to San Fransisco when we go in March. I remember going to a meeting with Howie years ago (in SF) and bringing Matt and we had a glorious trip.

So I am getting caught up on email, web browsing, blog reading etc. while waiting for my next flight. I am going to San Diego to the National Outreach Convention and will also visit my friend Chara again. Plus I have dinner plans with my friend Kim tomorrow in Del Mar. I am excited about the trip and hope to live in the sweet spot of passion and excitement for the next couple of days.

Peace.

Matt, I Love You!

The following is from today's Purpose Driven Life Devotional, written by Jon Walker:

"The apostle Paul says this is the problem with the law: We keep excluding people based on jot-and-tittle questions, such as what they eat or drink, how they celebrate a holiday, or if they wear a tie on Sunday (Colossians 2:16).

God comes in grace, saying, “The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love” (Galatians 5:6 NIV)."

Yes, we need to honor God, but I so believe that honoring comes through extending love and grace, the unconditional love of the father of the Prodigal Son variety (See John 15:11).

How do we do this? (Especially if it is one of your kids driving you nuts!)

OK, If I pay attention to the Apostle Paul, I guess I need to stop fretting about appearances, and stop nagging Nicole about her hair...and relate to her and love her as she is, where she is. (That doesn't mean tolerating disrespect, or letting her get away with things, one of the irrefutable laws of life is that we reap what we sow (in other words, suffer the consequences, or joys, of our decisions).

But there is a joy and freedom that comes along with celebrating and loving people where they are. I haven't always been good at this...like when we were at the bottom of the valley with Matt. But that is in the past, and we made it through. (If you don't know about this journey, it was what brought me to my knees and can be found elsewhere on my website, under testimony).

It is what made Saturday in Ithaca especially sweet. The joy of being in the moment. The joy of simply being. The joy of hanging out. The joy of experiencing where we are now compared to where we once were. Is there someone you need to be somewhere different with? Why not now? Take the first step...

I started to cry on the drive home. I remembered the same drive about eight years ago. I was listening to Michael W. Smith on a CD singing Kentucky Rose. Chris was a student at Ithaca College at the time and I had been up for a visit with him. Matt was struggling and Chris was too, in his own way. I remembered the past drive and the rawness of the pain as if it were yesterday. Driving home in confusion about how we had arrived at such a desperate place, and just sobbing. I hadn't let go or come to faith, or the beginning, very beginning steps of grace yet. I am coming to understand that faith is so much about grace. And I know I still have far to go, but what I realized even then was that somehow something had gone very wrong and that unconditional love wasn't there. Hurt, lies, deceit and brokenness were there. And it felt awful.

But this time the tears were tears of joy. Joy that love is present. That Matt is happy. That we got to laugh at a St. Bernard named Oscar. That I didn't even comment on the messiness of his room. (I didn't go to see his room or run a white gloved finger over any surfaces); I went to visit Matt and Carolyn and enjoy a day without any agenda other than being present and extending love. And that is grace.

Matt, I love you!

Oscar

Meet Oscar. He won best in show at the Doggie Halloween Parade in Ithaca. Just looking at him made me laugh. Poor dog; wonder what he was thinking...I have to admit, I have never dressed up my dog for Halloween. But this was just hilarious.

A Perfect Fall Day in Ithaca

Ithaca was great. It was a perfect day. OK, it got a little bit chilly and I lost an earring, a special one at that, but other than that it was perfect.
Ithaca is a great town. Two universities, an eclectic and diverse population and tons of great places to eat. And a great Farmer's Market. We started with apple cider donuts and apple cider, went on to Cambodian fried bananas, and then finished off with Southwestern flat bread. Oh, and a wine tasting. Some great finger lakes red wine.

Nicole kept saying how much she liked it and would like to live there...I have to agree living somewhere with more accessible culture, multiple great places to eat and a mindset of being ecologically progressive (the dog park is going compostible in two weeks...) would be nice. But I am not interested in moving North...
It was a beautiful day; sunny although a bit on the brisk side. There were musicians playing songs that somehow provided a sense of comfort. Just watching the two guys come together as one in their music was comforting. I felt relaxed and at peace, spending time with people I love.

Sorry, don't have the photo rotation thing down...but here are two of those people I love, who seem to be hanging in with being long distance again. But they seemed to really enjoy being around each other and the day was full of joking, laughter and just plain fun.

Whenever Carolyn comes to visit, she brings Finn, the world's best behaved dog along with her. He was not to be left out of the fun, but could have done without the hat...

After the Farmer's Market we went to the doggie park where there was a doggie Halloween parade, then off to the Science Center where we all acted like little kids, and then to dinner and a little bit of shopping at a great consignment shop and then finished off at Wegman's before heading home.

It was a long day but just wonderful.

Friday's Fun and Food...

The eating extravaganza started in the fourth grade classroom on Friday afternoon...it was the last healthy food to be had for several hours... So how obscene is this? A pillowcase of halloween candy Nicole collected on Friday evening. I enjoyed the Peanut M&M's. Noone likes the Milk Duds...Someone should give out toothbrushes.

Me and Nicole together. You can see I have added blond highlights and am letting my short hair grow out a little. I have finally made peace with my curls. I have still not made peace with Nicole's curls and the silky shampoo works well, to a degree...it would work better if she lathered longer and then actually used the pick all the way through. Her hair is so beautiful, but totally on my nerves in the tangled frizzed out state it is. I know it shouldn't even be registering on my radar, but it is.

Have a Great Day!

I am having more techie woes. I wanted to respond (very briefly...no that is not oxymoronic for me, it really is possible...) to a couple of posts, but now my computer won't let me click on "comments".

So I will wish you a great day here. Nicole just got out of the shower...(it may take three or four to get all the color out of her hair from her "do" last night...and omigosh...the pillowcase full of candy...I took a picture, but then again, can't load it because of other computer problems...)

I am enjoying, actually savoring, a strong, hot cup of coffee, will jump in the shower myself, load up the car and be off. The drive to Ithaca is beautiful, as long as you don't get stuck behind a log truck. I am looking forward to today. Matt is in a great space right now, and more importantly, so am I. I can love him, applaud him and support him for who he is, a guy full of passion finding his way.

The view out my kitchen window is serene. There are mountains off in the background and a pink glow from the morning sun before fading into the last of the night sky. It fills me with a sense of beauty, awe and hope...may you experience those things today.

God be with you.