Sun Rays

Matt painted me this painting for Christmas. It just reaffirmed my belief that the hand made, well thought out gifts are the most meaningful of all. This and the picture that Nicole made in school for both of us were my favorite gifts.

There is significance to this depiction of the rays of sunlight that are peeking and poking out from behind the cloud. Matt knew and remembered that I have often remarked how I love the beams of sunlight that appear through cracks in the clouds; that to me it is as if God is reaching down and touching me with his love reassuring me that even in the darkest times everything will be alright. And then he captured that image in this painting for me. Isn't it beautiful? The image and the message touched me tremendously.

My Very Own Marley (and then some)

Meet Tino. He is my dog. He came home one afternoon in 1995 without any input or permission for that matter from anyone else in the family. Maybe not the best move, but it was successful. I couldn't resist his doleful eyes when I met him at the SPCA back then. Of course the logical question is what on earth I was doing at the SPCA in the first place if I wasn't pet hunting. I was visiting, and happened to fall in love, that's all. It was innocent enough and love at first site. We named him after baseball player Tino Martinez when he was still a Seattle Mariner. When he got traded to the Yankees we gave serious thought to renaming the dog.

Tino has been a great job, and he does look like Marley, doesn't he? I didn't read the book, but I think I will. I just saw the movie and cried through the last half hour. Bawled and sniveled is more like it. It was a great story and a great movie, and hit a bit too close to home as Tino no longer sleeps upstairs. They are too tough for him. Even the two stairs to the garage sometimes present difficulty. He is getting older.


Meet Finn. He will turn one on January 2nd, and was Matt's birthday present to Carolyn. He is fun and well behaved and gets along with Tino and our four cats great. And a couple of pre-Christmas photos...brother and sister tormenting each other...

Sister and sister drooling over IPod Touches which were not to be touched...

And wrapping paper fencing. All fun.

Blingie Jewelry Makes Me Smile!

Gina, a friend from church gave me one of many perfect gifts this Christmas. Blingy jewelry! And here is the really cool thing, it matched, I mean totally matched the jacket I wore that day. It was worthy of one of those sister chick hugs!

Back Online...

Greetings! OMiGosh! I was off line for a couple of days, my website exceeded its traffic allowance...Yikes!

That's good news, actually, except that I am such a technowit I had to call my web girl to fix it for me. No worries, it won't happen again.

My dear friend Connie exclaimed, "Oh, that means you're famous!" Hardly. I think infamous is more the appropriate term.

And here is why I don't do my own website: Connie, who has become increasingly brave in all things web design managed to delete her entire website yesterday. I think she hauled it back in from the nether regions of cyberspace, but if it had been me, my web site would have forever vanished into a black hole. So I will do what I do better (review enough charts) so I can pay someone else to add tabs, add book covers, add traffic allocations, and maybe even redesign the home page...and add a (very pink) button or two.

A lot has happened the past couple of days, but since I am out the door to an appointment I will just give the chapter titles here:

• The Ups and (Let)Downs of Christmas
• Text Till You Drop
• Why Nicole + Blair Equals Stress
• How My Mother Won Herself a Trip to the Emergency Room...(She's physically fine, but there may be other concerns).

Now I am off to learn more about creating and maintaining boundaries in my life of chaos.

Peace, and happy to be up and writing again.

Checking In...

I am exhausted, perhaps you are too? But it is a good exhausted.

• Time spent Christmas Eve picking up my parents who haven't come out to join us for a couple of years.
• Staying up to place requisite cookies, milk, note and gifts out while Tianna slept next to the tree and the chimney. It was 1:33 am before she conked out.
• Being woken up at 7:30, which is really quite respectable for Christmas morning, by Nicole who had less than no patience for the fact that her brothers are slow and difficult to wake up.
• Baking, baking and more baking, followed by eating, eating and more eating.
• A full day on Christmas relishing in family that had joined us.
• Christmas dinner with my dear friend Elaine.
• Collecting all the recyclable paper to take to HUF at some point in the not too distant future as recyclables in need of transport are taking over my garage.
• A full day of work today. I reviewed 23 charts in Pottsville, about an hour away.

I hope to sleep in tomorrow, a realistic dream as neither girl is home. Photos and thoughts to share and cherish to follow.

How tired are you? May you get some rest.

Peace.

Silent Night...

This is the magical time of Christmas Eve. The children are tucked in their beds (the younger ones, anyway, the big brothers are finishing their gifts...) and I can sit in the stillness of the night with just the twinkling white lights of the Christmas Tree providing a soft and comforting glow.

The sense of quiet, peace and silence is something I hope to inject all my Decembers to come with, not just on Christmas Eve, but for every day in December. To take the silent time during the period of advent to reflect on and revere the presence of Christ in my life.

The last few days have been busy, but have brought much joy. Time with Matt as he prepared for and has been recovering from wrist surgery (which ended up being a ligament reconstruction, not a simple arthroscopy) on Monday, to Nicole's Christmas Party, to work Tuesday, to picking up my parents in Wilkes Barre (about an hour away and we had fog and ice) as they decided to come for Christmas at the last minute.

They weren't going to come but yet, at the last moment, they did and to me that is the best gift of all. We will be together celebrating love, family and the birth of Jesus.

Peace.

The Last Couple of Days...

The last couple of days have been full; very full in fact. Full of fun, full of work, and full of play. But never too full to take some photos! I think there are still some people who think my husband is a figment of my imagination. But here we are together at the Dermatology Christmas Party on Wednesday night. Wednesday kind of fell apart since we had bad weather in the morning, but it wasn't bad enough to cancel the party. Just bad enough for a two hour delay that wreaked havoc on my life. No work for me that day, which meant a super long day the next.

So after I reviewed 23 charts, which still have information to be put in sometime between now and Monday, I went to pick up Tianna at dance, and the dance teacher, Karen, loves pink even more than I do if that is possible...so what other option was there than to have a photo op in front of the pink tree with pink Santa hat no less! When I commented to my husband that I NEEDED a pink Christmas tree he immediately corrected my confusion between needs and wants...but it came from Big Lots, so there may be some after Christmas sale potential...

And then there was Friday...

I really was hoping there would be school, because I needed some quiet time at home to figure out such important matters as equality in gift giving between siblings, waiting for Matt to come home to have a quiet conversation with him, and the fact that I had a radio interview at noon that was live and would not have gone well with Nicole zooming through the house.

So I woke up and there wasn't a single flake. So I reluctantly woke Tianna up first and then thought, well maybe, just maybe I had better check the school closings and delays...

CLOSED! Yikes! I do like to hunker down with the flakes floating down but today was not one of those days. Well, it wasn't long before snow and ice came floating and pelting out of the sky.

Normally a total woosie about driving in bad weather, I packed Nicole up to take her to her friend's house, but it took close to an hour to find her appropriate snow clothes...that lead to the cleaning out of the hall closet, the aftermath of which is pictured above.

That in turn, led to a purging of my closet. I decided to clear out the things that didn't fit me...Let me just say that my closet is pretty empty...some I am storing elsewhere, some I am listing on EBay, and some with yard sale away.

That has been the last couple of days here. There are a couple of other really sweet, touching stories I want to share, but those will wait for later. I am stressing about finding two gift cards I purchased and can't find....

Fa La La...

Take Time to be Joyful! Slow Down...

OK, so I am still going on and on about Monday and here it is Wednesday already...Sixty degrees Monday and ice responsible for a two hour delay today. To say that put a kibosh in my plans is an understatement! So instead of working today (too much ice to drive to the hinterlands, never mind a late start...) I tried to get errands done. Stress "tried." Long lines everywhere, desired items gone (could that have anything to do with the fact that today is December 17th?!?!?!) and multiple calls from Tianna on her friend's cellphone; apparently she found it necessary to keep me posted on her whereabouts moment by moment.

We have a Christmas party with Howie's department tonight. I decided to get dressed up.

And the highlight of my day was getting an email from a friend, fellow writer and blog reader who shares similar feelings and passions about community outreach. God is up to something...Oh, and a phone call from another writer friend who asked me if I would like to lead a teleconference/coaching session for beginner writers. Wow!

Tomorrow I put my nurse chart reviewer hat back on. Maybe I will wear the one I have on in the picture...

Cheers!

PS I know I am not the only insane one out there trying to get too much crammed into too little time. My readers have fallen off the face of the earth. They are probably stuck in a long line somewhere, which is OK as long as they aer having fun.

Too Much Fun!

It was just too much fun! Yesterday was the best. And it got me and Connie to thinking. Now that is treading into murky waters at best. We laughed so much we could hardly stand it. So we are going to develop the Connie and Kathy Travelling Road Show. Don't ask me where we're going to go...as a matter of fact, if you do ask us we'll come...but we want to encourage other women to have fun. Enjoy relationships. Take time. And incorporate the four principals of Diva Life into their own lives: Enhancing relationships, incorporating joy, de-stressing and simplifying. All things we really want to do, right?

What woman doesn't want to de-stress? Have more joy? Have a friend (relationship) they can let loose in without being shushed. (As you might well imagine, I get shushed a fair amount...especially by the curmudgeons in my life...) Experience some joy and simplify, simplify, simplify. And laugh plenty along the way.

Wait till you see the pink glasses we got...but I'm saving that for tomorrow...

I think I am coming to somewhat of a crossroads. I am passionate about the Diva principles...joy, relationships, simplifying and de-stressing; so I think that is the path I am going to go down in 2009.

I can't give up the passion for outreach, though, so I am going to explore other options (maybe my church website?) to blog about those thoughts.... whatcha think? Weigh in. I really believe in the power of girlfriends. so I think that is where I am settling in here.

Let me know what you think...

Kathy

A Divalicious Day

Yesterday I had the most wonderful day of fun and friendship with my friend Connie. It was a celebration of sisterhood and silliness. We all need some of that! Unfortunately today is NOT that for me. Back to work, eighteen charts to review an hour and fifteen minutes away and the morning didn't start out all that great! A moody child (the elder sister for a change) who thought she could roll out of bed having missed the school bus at stop number one, fuss with her hair and I would drop everything to take her to stop number two when her dad was in the car ready to go (he passes both stops on his way to work).

Sigh. I am extra glad I had yesterday! More pictures later! Maybe you'd like to join us next time!

Peace.

Christmas Spending

I have been dragging my feet with Christmas shopping this year. I don't want to enter into frenzied (or un-frenzied, for that matter) shopping. I have been slowly and deliberately choosing gifts that will bring delight to the recipient.

But I am really having a hard time as I review my girls' Christmas lists. They are pretty long and have some pretty expensive items on them. Images of people who don't have food or clean water keep invading my thoughts. On those lines I learned about a web site that hasn't made this thought process any easier. Go to www.adventconspiracy.org. Watch the video. I know I was provoked. Basically, it tells us we spend 450 billion dollars each year on gifts, and note that it would only require 10 million dollars to supply those who need it with clean water. Amazing.

I have to admit my philosophy has changed over the years related to gift giving. I love to honor requests, but I prefer delightful surprises, or a treasure that is so unique, or so clearly has someone's name written all over it that I can't resist. For far too many years I carried on my mother's gift giving traditions, which included sale and clearnace items with little thought or consideration to whether it was really something the person wanted or not. Or if I responded to an item on the list, that was it. It probably won't come as a surprise that I was a proficient re-gifter and hung out in the clearance sections of stores...But now I search for meaning and delight and believe strongly in the gift of self.

So I am not excited about venturing into stores over the next few days. It just seems so unnecessary and anticlimactic (to my way of thinking, my girls will NOT agree). But I will do some shopping tomorrow. I have the perfect idea for Howie, but technology is once again giving me fits. All I need to do is send a photo on my computer to CVS and the page won't load... It is probably the last day I will really have a chunk of time to ponder, contemplate and not respond to impulse or whim. I am going to spend the day with my writing friend Connie.

The rest of the week is full; and I don't want to race through my days at breakneck speed. I want to have time to admire beautiful trees. Strike up conversations and simply be aware of those around me. I am working three days and then wind down the week with a radio interview and Christmas party with Nicole. And then Matt will be home, he has surgery next week, and then the girls are off for two weeks and I just want to be. I want to enjoy my time with them (because relationships matter) and not be crazy and stressed.

Celebrating Dreams...Because Relationships Matter

I really wanted to include pictures with this post...but my photo card reader is broken (more techno woes...).

My friend Linda graduated from Nursing School (LPN) last night, achieving a dream she has had for more than twenty years. It was a celebration of so many things, and I am so proud of her.

It hasn't been an easy journey, but life is hard and throws us many curve balls. I have so much respect for her, though, because I don't think I would have finally every connected with one of those pitches and hit it out of the park the way she has. I think I might have struck out long ago.

To say Linda has had a hard life is an understatement. (Two thoughts come to mind here. More of her story is on my web site and I love the title of Kathy Guy's blog, "Because Relationships Matter" because that just sums it up. If I were truly techno proficient, as you know I am not...I would have the clickable link here, but I don't. Kathy serves as the Director of Community at Granger Community Church in Granger, Indiana. Great thoughts can be pondered there.)

Anyway, to say Linda has had a hard life is an understatement. She lost her first husband at 25, leaving her a widow with two young kids. Her second husband, Steve, has been in jail for the last 20 years. And she has stayed by his side all that time. Because relationships matter...she has raised their four children, including a set of twins, who I have as tag along much of the time, the 11 year old daughter, especially, as she and Nicole are friends. Because Relationships matter. (I know, the math may have you perplexed...Linda and Steve and kids had family visits.)

She has worked hard, raised the kids, stayed with Steve, and never lost sight of her dream. And our family was able to be a part of that. Because relationships matter. And last night she achieved that dream.

Twice before she had planned to start nursing school; the first time her dream was interrupted when her first husband really wanted her to stay home. The second time her dream was interrupted because Steve went to jail. She is an example of perseverance we could all take something away from.

The weather was the culprit this time that seemed to be conspiring against her as she looked forward to the culmination of the dream by participating in her graduation. On Tuesday she drove a combined eleven hours to pick up her mom and two oldest kids so they could be there with her. The kids had to be back in Ithaca, NY this morning to work. Linda herself has to work at ten. Graduation was scheduled for Thursday evening, allowing Linda time to get the older two back to Ithaca in time for everyone to meet their responsibilities.

Until it snowed...and moved graduation to Friday evening. But with some creative planning and lots of support from many (because relationships matter) we found a way to get everyone to where they needed to be. Not without difficulty, but with perseverance. And as a result her friends and family were there to cheer her on as she has achieved her first dream, and see what is possible.

And I am honored to have been a part of this journey walking alongside her. Because Relationships Matter.

Thoughts on Advent...

I was thinking about the season of advent earlier today, and sat down to write some thoughts down for the next Missions Musings, an informal newsletter I put out at our church throughout the year updating folks on what's going on in outreach.

I wrote from a somewhat different slant this time. Instead of sharing updates, news and opportunities, I wanted to reflect on the season of advent and the connections that I perceived from a familiar verse of Scripture and how it may be an encouragement and challenge to us as we seek to share Christ's love with others.

“And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night. An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. But the angel said to them, ‘Do not be afraid. I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is Christ the Lord. This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger.’ Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying,
‘Glory to God in the highest, and on earth, peace to men on whom his favor rests.’
When the angels had left them and gone into heaven, the shepherds said to one another, ‘Let’s go to Bethlehem and see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has told us about.’ So they hurried off and found Mary and Joseph, and the baby, who was lying in the manger. When they had seen him, they spread the word concerning what had been told them about this child, and all who heard it were amazed at what the shepherds said to them about this child.”
-Luke: 2:7-18

Advent: A Season of Expectant Waiting
Most of us are familiar with the above passage from Luke. So much so, that perhaps in our familiarity and rush through this contemplative time of year, we even skim it because of its familiarity.

I would love to encourage you to reread it and meditate on it for a moment with this thought in mind:
In today’s world, the only exposure that many people have to this Scripture is through the Charlie Brown Christmas Special, when Linus shares the message of expectant hope with Charlie Brown, who blew it again by getting a dorky little Christmas tree, one that could even be compared to “the least of these.” Who on earth would pick such a pathetic tree?

Yet Christ came for all of us, yet an alarming number of people in our world don’t have any idea of who He is. You don’t need to travel to Mozambique to meet them, either, they live right in your community. As representatives of Christ it is our calling and responsibility (known as the Great Commission) to share him with those who don’t yet know him.

When we love Christ with a passion, it is then a sobering thought to think about how many people there are who don’t (yet) know Christ. Of course, part of the reason for this may be precisely because of Christians they DID know. Were they hypocritical? Did they live any differently than the rest of the world? Were they judgmental? A great book to read about perceptions that non-Christians have of Christians is UnChristian. It is precisely how I felt for years.

If you are a Christian, how many non-Christians do you interact with, and even more so, have relationships with on an ongoing basis? Dan Kimball refers to this as living in the Christian Bubble, when we no longer have any friends outside of the church.

Recently a group from CMF met with Doug Diven, Director of Hand Up Foundation, (HUF), who spoke about his call to start the HUF Ministry. He described a “Holy Discontent” when he realized he didn’t have any non-Christian friends. And that really bugged him.

As I contemplate sharing Christ with others and developing friendships and relationships with others who don’t know Jesus and think about the above Scripture, I am both encouraged and challenged.

The Scriptures say that the shepherds lived nearby where the baby Jesus was to be born, and that they were busy tending their flocks. It reminds me of our place in our community and how we also live nearby to a place where great things may happen. Not the birth of the Messiah, but having the privilege of being the hands and feet of Jesus to our neighbors; while still tending our flocks (families, responsibilities, church events, etc.)

It also clearly says that the shepherds were terrified. Yup, it’s scary to do something new and different especially when the directive comes from unseen messengers…it’s more comfortable to stay home.

But the shepherds obeyed, and went to Bethlehem and were blessed. I believe we may also be blessed if we leave our routines and comfort zones and respond when God calls us.

There’s a catch, though, and that’s the obedience part. Ya gotta get up and do it. Hard? Sometimes. Scary? Sure. Rewarding? Beyond belief!

And finally, when the shepherds returned to their normal lives, they spoke about what they had seen, and the fact that “all who heard it were amazed.”

In a situation where we go out and serve, while we may certainly go back and share our experiences with others and be amazed (at how God uses us), I think the real amazement will be from those whom we serve. The question, "Why on earth would someone who doesn't even know me give two hoots about what happens to me?" It begs an answer.

And through that sharing others will hear about our Jesus.

This advent season (and beyond) won’t you join me in waiting expectantly for Christ and the opportunity to share him with others outside the four walls of church?

May peace abide in you and radiate from you as you pause to reflect upon the season of advent.

Advent thoug

Advent thoug

Prayer for the Day

Wherever you are, and whatever you are doing, take a moment to reflect on how you can make someone elses' life a little bit brighter, and what the ensuing blessing is for you. Cherish the moment, take time to smile, and be a beacon of light.

Be a giver of random acts of kindness...

Peace

More Emerging Thoughts...Yuppies and the Poor

Back to the notion of caring for the poor and what that looks like, who does it, and what about those yuppies of the world?

The comment that got me thinking more was, "yeah, but what about the yuppies of the world? God wants them too! And THEY may never go into the gutters...and if Jesus is only there, they will never meet Him!"

Reading this comment elicited a couple of thoughts:

• Absolutely God wants the yuppies too..which leads to the next thought...
• The poor are not just the poor physically, but also those who may be quite satisfied (so they think) with their life, thank you very much, but are decidedly missing something that every latest techno gadget, newer, bigger and better can't satisfy. They are poor in a different way. Although, with the mortgage crisis, they may also become monetarily poor as they now have homes worth far less than what they owe on their mortgage...
• These poor in spirit present a unique challenge, because they believe in the illusion that they are in control (believe me, I know, I was there for years) and don't perceive a need for getting to know Jesus.
• I shared my frustration a while back with a friend that I don't really fit in in my neighborhood. I live in a nice hood, but people don't come out and mingle much, and the homes get bigger, fancier, more more and that is where the rub is for me. The excess is what distresses me. It is that question of "do you really need the newest, biggest, best, replacement whatever when the original wasn't even worn out" because of the difference that could make in someone living in abject poverty's life. Kind of like the question of if you spent the money on the tummy tuck on the poor (or the bag of oreos) caring for them, well...
• I think there's a balance here. It's OK for me to put new carpet in my daughter's room (especially when the old is totally gross) but I don't want to do that at the exclusion and expense of making sure someone elses' needs are being met.
• We did some Christmas shopping yesterday. Our church has adopted some really needy families. The nine year old girl in that family doesn't have much. She is physically poor, but also perhaps poor in spirit. Hopefully reaching out to her will touch both.

Can not the poor in spirit also be those who are living without gentleness, self control, love, joy, peace, kindness goodness and gentleness? Isn't another label for that group the oppressed?

I think those are the poor I am thinking about the most, those that are oppressed in some way or another, and that isn't limited by their demographics or socio economic status...

How many wealthy people do you know who are poor spiritually?

If you are a committed Christian, are you living in what Dan Kimball refers to as "the Christian bubble?" That came up in our prayer meeting with the founder of HUF (Hand Up Foundation) the other night. He remarked that he didn't know any (or many) non-Christians, and those are who we are to share the love of Christ with. And that churned in him a spirit of Holy Discontent. I, on the other hand, know lots of people who don't know Jesus (yet) and I am to love them. Really love them. So that includes my neighbor's whose consumerism makes me ill at times (and who at other times I viewed with more than a sprinkle of righteous indignation, shame on me!). So he radically changed his life.

That is transformation. And God is blessing it.

Peace.

I Quit!

I am now officially quitting for the moment. I have posted four times since yesterday, only to learn that none of my posts posted. I am now going to go to bed and try again in the morning.

Emerging Thoughts

I have landed, in more ways than one.

I am back home after a full, thought provoking, prayerful, and at times painful weekend.
It all made much more sense after reading Phyllis Tickle's book, The Great Emergence, upon which the three days of sessions in Memphis were based.

In her book Tickle examines major cultural and historical shifts that occur about every 500 years that prompt a response and reshaping of Christianity. The most recent upheaval was during the Reformation. (This is a less than Cliff Note version...) We are now entering that next time of upheaval, which has been called The Great Emergence, and while Protestantism came out of the Reformation, no name other than Emerging (not to be confused with Emergent) has been given to the form of Christianity resulting from the current cultural shifts. More recently perhaps also referred to by some as Missional Churches responding to a Post Modern Culture.

I am still trying to process what that all means, but have landed solidly in the space of committing myself to following Christ as best I can, taking His commandments seriously and paying close attention to what the New Testament has to say. I would say I am a mid line emergent, not nearly as far left as some, but trying to walk very carefully in the way of Jesus. Humility and service to the poor (both poor in spirit and poverty stricken) are two attributes of how I see that being lived out. It probably puts me into a non-fundamentalist, more moderate theology with Shane Claiborne and Tony Campolo as writers worth reading and speakers worth listening to. I know some may view them as left, but believe me, there are plenty to the left of them.

I did make it back for a prayer meeting tonight involving a non-traditional church plant in our community, and God has seemingly landed me there as well. This is a church that would specifically minister to the poor in our community, the poor that don't yet know Jesus. I have sensed God calling me to this, but with upcoming writing commitments it didn't look like it was going to fit. Now that that has taken care of itself, I find myself firmly landing back in that place of church planting, so it will be interesting to see what other doors God opens and closes over the next few weeks and months.

I am glad to be home with my family. I thank God for His love.

Peace.

Jubilee Thoughts

Clearly my trip to Memphis has been about getting to know Jesus a little bit better, learning to follow him more closely and reshaping my heart just a little bit more.

And to be honest, it is usually painful.

God has me in a learning season. (I hope it's a short winter!)

• Who has the answers? Christ does, not people, at either end of a wide spectrum.
• Worship is about incredible gratitude that prompts internal changes marked by external actions. If we are Christians we had better well be living differently than the rest of the world.
• Selfish ambition, something I fall prey to (don't you? If you are honest, of course you do! Come on... :)) has got to be shed. In the writing world this may look like signing a contract with a publisher you don't 110% line up with, or seeking endorsements from big name folks, regardless of whether or not you agree with their beliefs. Be careful. Very careful. This is a painful lesson to learn the hard way.
• Care for the least of these is transformational to both giver and receiver.
• Bring your faith alive by serving as the hands and feet of Christ.
• Be a conduit of love. Not just to the lovely, but to the unlovely.

So as I pondered what I heard this weekend I find myself arriving at the place of practicing these directives:

• loving others,
• following the way of Jesus
• and being radical about sharing Christ with others

The following is excerpted from the website of a church in the UK (Vineyard) that will be practicing the year of Jubilee in 2009. The work of Shane Claiborne has heavily influenced their beliefs, thoughts and practice. Thanks to a fellow journeyman from my church for sharing this with me.

"What is our aim?

Refocus on mission and particularly on the "poor".
Refocus on ethical living.
Learn more about living simply - need not greed!
Learn more about radical giving - that there are no needy among us..
Make changes that will last many life times and not just a year.

What are we actually going to do?
This is the basic bottom-line list of stuff we are doing as a church. Our hope is that we will all go much further than this though.
A call for a day of prayer and fasting every month.
A call for an ethical "audit" of our lives
who do we bank with?
where do we shop?
what clothes we where?
what food we eat?
etc.
A call for more radical giving.
A call to every house group to actively partner with a Christian social action work in the city. Hopefully, by the end of the year, each group will be linked to a work as part of its fundamental DNA.

A call for every house group to actively set about helping one another simplifying their lives from clutter. For instance, for a month at a time choosing one or a few of:
No TV
No Internet
No mobile phones
Only using public transport
No supermarket shopping
Living as a vegetarian
I am sure that you can think of other things as these are just ideas. The hope is for groups to do this together, corporately and help each other to simplify their lives.

A call for house group members to commit to invited people from the group over once a month for a meal. Hopefully, those who are invited out all the time would be those who have less or who know fewer people or who are most excluded. "

Now, I need to fly out of here (literally). Happy thoughts about relinquishing my seat to obtain a free ticket gratefully accepted!)

Peace.

Random Thoughts...

I have many, many thoughts swirling through my head that I want to share...here are a few; I will explore them more as time permits. There is a marathon being run today in Memphis, and I have been told if I don't get where I'm going by eight, then forget it, I have to wait for 11,000 runners to get across an intersection that is between where I am now and the church, so this will be brief.

• The message of Christ is the message of Christ, but there are many ways of expressing that message.
• God really did make me the way I am and it's totally OK to be who I am, whether that is sanctioned by others or not. We will never agree with everyone, or make everyone happy.
• I am in a space at this event where I feel at peace and am worshipping within a sacred space.
• I have made new friends.
• I can't think of a better place to be than here going through my latest painful growth spurt.
• There are others who feel like they are square pegs who have tried to fit into round holes in their faith life; I am not alone.
• It is safe to ask questions, groan, pray and struggle with aspects of the journey we are on; there are fellow travellers.
• I wish my guys could be here.

A day of peace in this advent season to you, my friends.

The Great Emergence

I didn't get much sleep last night. About four hours. Part of it was getting up at three to get ready to come to Memphis where I am participating in an event called, The Great Emergence. Phyllis Tickle is leading the event about the Emergent Church. I am here to learn, listen and worship.

Yesterday was also a difficult day in my writing life. I spoke with my team at AMG about the cover and title of the Bible Study, and prevailed with a couple of minor tweaks. The title will be UnDoing Church: Discovering Faith and the Not Your Mother's Bible Study will be the segueway (in prominent letters) on the back to what the book is all about: Being, not going to church. They are also working on new cover art that I will get to review. I am so happy and relieved about this.

But then I learned that my publisher for my pregnancy book had grave concerns about some of my blog posts and learned late this evening that they withdrew my contract. I know no details about how that conversation went, just that I am deeply grieved that it happened. I am sad, but will search for what the message for me is in this. In a few days I guess I will be more ready to reflect on this.

Peace.

Migraines and Botox

I finally had my neurology appointment today. In case you missed this part of my adventure, when I was in Atlanta in September I had an episode of syncope and collapse, which is a fancy medical way of saying I passed out. Clunk. Fell right off the chair at the restaurant I was dining at.

My heart checked out fine, so I have been waiting for the neuro appointment to tell me whether or not there is anything wrong with my head (some would say that I don't need a neurology appointment to provide the answer to that question...); but the answer is yes, I have a very rare form of migraines, called Bickerstaff or basilar type migraines which are often confused with strokes in their symptomatology. What is the likelihood? One in 500. OK so I know I am not normal!

And get this: One of the remedies is botox; yes, you heard that right, botox. So because I have migraine headaches, I now get to go for botox every three months, and the two for one special involved with that therapy is that my brow will become unfurrowed. Now you can't beat that!

But here's the funny part. I did have botox the end of October, because some of the derm residents needed a guinea pig to practice on and I volunteered my forehead for them to finish up the rest of a vial that had already been opened and would otherwise have been discarded (what! throw away botox?!?!?) I also promptly volunteered to let them practice on any other needed body part, hips and thighs at the top of the list...but anyway, when the neurologist said "lift your eyebrows" I had to tell him I couldn't because I had botox, to which he promptly responded that I would be getting more of that in my future (and my insurance would pay for it, I wouldn't have to be at the mercy of leftovers...). He said that was the first time anyone ever told him they couldn't' raise their eyebrows because they had had botox...and I get to go back for more.

So here's the question. Does that make me a totally vain person that I like my forehead better without lines and furrows? I admit I squinch my eyebrows together a lot when I can move those muscles, but I feel and probably look much more relaxed not being able to do so. What do you think? Is botox OK if you don't pay for it, or as medical therapy with cosmetic side benefits, or not?

Words that Make a Difference

Today I received a delightful gift: a book! What better gift for a writer than a book! This book arrived from my editor at Focus on the Family and is titled Words that make a Difference and How to Use them in a Masterful Way. What a lovely thought! And it arrived with a handwritten note, which also contained personalized words that made a difference.

But it got me thinking about how our words can and do make a difference. For better or for worse. Whether we are speaking or writing, our words carry power. Power to heal or power to hurt. I have been trying to be much less reactive and much more intentional in the words I choose, especially when speaking. You can't pull those words back in once they're spoken. At least sometimes we have that option with written words (which is why it is such a great idea to let a rough draft sit for awhile before going back to edit and tweak it).

I tried to encourage a friend today. It was hard to find the right words. Her daughter (10th grade) was caught drinking in school. Another kid had brought alcohol to school and four of them got caught. She was suspended for ten days, and already has a ding against her for simply walking out of school one day. What are the right words in that situation? One more strike and there is talk of taking her out of her family and placing her elsewhere. Unfortunately I know first hand what that is like.

How do you find the right words when they are hard to find?

To Share, or Not to Share Communion...

If you want to learn about world religions, this is a great book.

"From Christianity to Islam to New Age...an incredibly thorough encyclopedia of today's world religions." I picked this book up a couple of years ago so I could educate myself, but what really caught my eye was that there was a section on the Christadelphians, the religion, or faith system, my husband grew up in. As we spent the weekend with his sister and her family, who are devout followers (strict adherents, very involved in the church) I couldn't wait to get home and grab it to read up again on their beliefs which are so different from "traditional" Christianity that puts Jesus front and center.

In this book Christadelphians are included under the section on "christian" cults. I know when I mentioned this to Howie's older sister, with whom I find a willing to dialogue audience, that made her bristle. Remember, this is the religion my now agnostic/atheist husband grew up in and I ran from pretty fast when I was first introduced to it. I find it to be legalistic and had some very difficult experiences with one of the higher up males (no ordained clergy, male baptized members serve as the governing board and exhorters) in the church which smacked of hypocrisy to me.

So this weekend I participated in their church service, which took place around a dining room table and was just me, my sister in law, her husband and their two children. I participated (if you could call it that) out of respect for their beliefs and to worship our God together.
Ray read from a Christadelphian commentary on the Tabernacle (much focus on the Old Testament and prophecy of the coming of Christ). Prayer was as it always is, much the same, in old English. Reading is out of the King James Version.

The major differences theologically are that Jesus is not part of a triune God, (they do not believe in the trinity) he is man, his death on the cross is not substitutionary, there is no Holy Spirit and there is no Satan.

They do celebrate communion each week, but I was not offered the emblems. This made me sad, and I questioned them about it afterwards. There was talk of unity, but since my beliefs are not the same as theirs, I couldn't participate, we were considered out of fellowship with one another. It struck me as similar to the approach in the Catholic Church where only Catholics are permitted to partake in the bread and the wine, and so I asked about this. I struck a chord (a dissonant one) with that remark. Oh, no! I hate you even mentioning us with them in the same sentence...Unity?

They believe that only baptized Christadelphians are permitted to participate in communion with them (which they don't call communion, rather partaking of the emblems). I don't know if they would partake if they ever attended our church, but our policy is that all who have a belief and relationship with Jesus Christ may participate, and it is really between you and God.

I did ask if they felt salvation was reserved for only Christadelphians and they weren't willing to say that was true, rather that it would be up to God to determine, and that wouldn't be known until the time of judgement, yet they state they believe in salvation through faith and belief in Jesus. So I wondered why if it truly is up to God, and I was there, together with them to worship, I couldn't partake in communion. When I noted that that made me sad, it was almost as if it wasn't important, since it just represents our commitment, and is just a symbol, that isn't what it is all about, it is much more about living a life committed to and following Jesus. I agree with that part, but then felt if that was truly the case, why not offer me communion also?

It just left me confused, and I didn't pursue it because my aim was not to be contentious, simply to understand, and understand where our communities touched each other,if they do at all.

They also dress up to be at church, Lori wore a head covering and the fact that I was sipping on Decaf coffee was probably not appreciated. Only men can offer prayers (unless it is only an all women's class) and there are several other rule related practices that enter into their relationship with God...

Which do you think matters more to God? Our relationship with Christ, or following a set of rules and regulations to be "good enough" to enter his presence?

Weekend Reflections...

So here is the good old Brown Bear, sporting a cone. It was really nice to meander around the campus. I felt old... After the Thanksgiving feast and Build a Bear adventures, we went to NH Friday till Sunday and returned in time to watch most of the NE game. Steelers fans are happy campers, NE fans are not. Personally? I don't really care.

The time with family was what was most enjoyable, and it was really nice to be away from phone, TV and computer. The unplugged weekend was relaxing. We were not far from where Howie's mom's house was and we went to take a peek. That was kind of weird, but Howie said he was OK. No one was there, so we went up on the deck and peered in through the windows and walked around and reminisced a bit. The girls swung on the swing, and we shared a few stories. But life has marched on...I'm not sure I would have held up had the family situation been reversed.

Then we went into Wolfeboro and meandered around the town, remembering more, and mourning more changes, especially the absence of Camelot, a candy, newspaper, book/gift store that had been a fixture ever since Howie could remember...sad. It was a reminder that time marches on and the changes aren't always welcome. A reminder also to cherish the moment. The future isn't guaranteed, or known.

I am happy to be home. Perhaps I am becoming more of a home body than I ever thought possible.

Peace.

NE Patriots Cheerleaders...

Well, here was our black Friday shopping bonus...two NE Patriots Football Cheerleaders (the real deal) sitting at a table in the mall selling their 2009 Calendars. I have to admit that I have three guys in my family who all probably would have been very excited to get one, but because of the respect I have for the women in their lives (including myself!) I didn't purchase any, but did ask if I could snap a photo. No excess body fat on these gals...I learned that having this job is a part time gig, they can only have it for three years and the gal on the left is an OB nurse, and the gal on the right is a student. There is a vigorous tryout, lasting about a month and it is decidedly a part time job, but not one that just anyone can put on their resume! So this was fun!