Marriage Matters

As in when one is married it is important. It is a relationship that requires care. Auto piloting marriage simply doesn't work; that becomes more like a relationship of convenience. My dad told me about an article he read (I think he said in The NY Times) that commented on the fact that this convenience phenomenon had actually gone one step further in these economically difficult times, and that couples who would otherwise be calling it quits can't/don't because they can't afford to live separately.

But how many married couples are together but in reality living like room ates, separately going about their routines, daily duties and lack connection and intimacy. By the way, intimacy is not synonymous with sex, as any Desperate Housewife will tell you. But both partners are lonely, hurting and ultimately end up bitter, resentful and alone even though they are together. Oh, and misunderstood. Trust me. But here's the great news, it doesn't need to be that way; it wasn't always if it is now, right?

Marriage requires attention, I suspect like growing a beautiful rosebush, but I don't really know, because I'm not a gardener, but have heard that rosebushes are hard to grow. They require pruning, just the right amount of light, right amount of moisture, etc. etc. And they are particularly susceptible to some nasty bugs. But then again chemicals aren't great either.

There are similarly many things that can assault a marriage if done too much or not enough.

Which is why I have said "yes" to another leadership initiative when I am really supposed to be saying "no" to new commitments. But this was one of those things that was just so compelling, and anyway, I will have help, I am not doing this alone.

There has been some talk and planning in our Ministry Team at church about events specifically designed for couples to prune and grow their marriages; and lots of interest, help and support, but no one at the helm. Despite a couple of severe frowns from others that clearly communicated a "no don't do it" message, I said "yes" and took this on (again with help).

Because I believe in and value relationships, starting out right in my family. I want a marriage with better communication, more intimacy and lots of joy. Don't you? So rather than give up is that is where you're at, take that first step towards making it happen.