Live, Love, Laugh

I miss Finn. I miss Carolyn. The both left yesterday. Instead of living, laughing and loving, I am hurting and crying. But still loving.They brought joy, laughter and shenanigans into the house. And a smile to Matt's face, which we don't see too much. What is breaking my heart the most is that Matt says he can't remember the last time he was happy. I mean baseline happy. Not having fun, or being happy being with someone, but truly embracing life. Embracing life is key. Dogs seem really good at this. We could learn a thing or two from them.

It is difficult to see people you love going through difficult stretches, whether emotionally or physically. It is important to live, love, and laugh. Heck, it sure beats the alternative: being dead, hating, and crying. But I venture to say more of us end up rutted in some version of the latter rather than the former.

I guess that's why the Stressed Out Diva persona appeals to me. It is fun. It is real. It is silly. It is spontaneous. And we all need more of those things in our lives. Fun and silliness. I hope it hasn't been too long since you had real fun, belly laughing fun with your kids, spouse and or friends. The kind Connie and I had in mid-December. And the truth, well, why pretend? It only makes others feel lousy because they can't figure out why they can't handle spinning all those plates...and spontaneity! The best! But of course you need pretty wide margins in your life if you are going to be spontaneous. To have time to respond to both the delights and the demands. To be available to those who may need to lean on your shoulder for support...who need a hug, need some attention, or a little bit of love.

My commitment is to become as un-busy as I need to be so I can respond to those I love and be available to them. And that looks different to different people.

• Last night I just sat with Matt. Just sat with him. Didn't talk of offer suggestions unless he asked.
• This morning I went into Nicole's school and filled out the too many addresses for unnecessary magazine subscription solicitations so the school could get TIME for Kids.
• I helped coach Tianna's lane at swimming.

But here's the thing. All of these things take time and putting the other person first. I sat with Matt instead of getting to bed before midnight. I spent the time this morning at the school filling the addresses out. I forwent my own exercise to help Tianna. It's all a trade off, but you really can't lose (even though the culture in many ways has conditioned us not to believe that) when you put relationships first. (Oh, and to me, that is a huge part of being a Christian...putting the other person first)

But here's something funny, well, OK maybe not so funny, especially if my washing machine protests... I scooped up a bunch of towels from downstairs by the hot tub along with an empty wine glass. And put the towels in the wash. But it sounded awful. Well, I forgot to remove the wine glass and ended up using my washing machine as a rock tumbler. Out came the wet towels, out came the shards of glass. What next? (I know, I shouldn't ask).

But it is a new day. May it be filled with grace.