My Travelling Office: Panera

I have to say, I accomplished quite a bit, but still not enough. Here is the view from my office. Not as nice as the one I had in Honduras, but the proximity to coffee and bathrooms is wonderful.

I brought my mom along; she wanted to go to Walmart, which is right across the way, and she just left for her third trip. She managed not to purchase a single thing during the over four hours we were here, but did enjoy two sample blueberry scones. (Free).

I'm a bit worried about her. She didn't seem to get it that she could have started with a cup of coffee four hours ago and still be enjoying it, and kept lamenting that she was hungry. "Do they have anything to eat here?" I suggested she take a look at the menu.

But she didn't want to spend any $$ and didn't accept my offer to purchase lunch.

The main reason she wanted to go to Walmart was to return light bulbs (about $6 and change) "so she would have a little more cash." Oy Vey. My dad way overspent on the Visa bill last month and she totally emptied her bank account out to pay his bill. Don't get me started.

So while she was at it, I had her return a couple of things for me, one I had a receipt for, one I didn't. Well, first off she walked right past the checker person and didn't get a return sticker. Then she got to the customer service counter and couldn't remember if I had given her receipts or not, and if I had couldn't find them. So back she came. We found the receipt and back she went.

Then she finally just went back one more time because she was hungry (remember, we are at Panera) so she went to buy some soup. Canned, when she could have had Panera. Go figure.

I really got a lot accomplished, including realizing I had done the math wrong on my MS and that I actually have under 5,000 words to cut. I think 4, 218 or something like that. So lookie there! I already chopped over 30% and didn't edit a thing, all because I can't add. No wonder I have bounced checks on more than one occasion.

Matt got home last night. We haven't connected yet, please pray for healthy relationships.

And now I am going out for my run.

Peace.

Live, Love, Laugh

I miss Finn. I miss Carolyn. The both left yesterday. Instead of living, laughing and loving, I am hurting and crying. But still loving.They brought joy, laughter and shenanigans into the house. And a smile to Matt's face, which we don't see too much. What is breaking my heart the most is that Matt says he can't remember the last time he was happy. I mean baseline happy. Not having fun, or being happy being with someone, but truly embracing life. Embracing life is key. Dogs seem really good at this. We could learn a thing or two from them.

It is difficult to see people you love going through difficult stretches, whether emotionally or physically. It is important to live, love, and laugh. Heck, it sure beats the alternative: being dead, hating, and crying. But I venture to say more of us end up rutted in some version of the latter rather than the former.

I guess that's why the Stressed Out Diva persona appeals to me. It is fun. It is real. It is silly. It is spontaneous. And we all need more of those things in our lives. Fun and silliness. I hope it hasn't been too long since you had real fun, belly laughing fun with your kids, spouse and or friends. The kind Connie and I had in mid-December. And the truth, well, why pretend? It only makes others feel lousy because they can't figure out why they can't handle spinning all those plates...and spontaneity! The best! But of course you need pretty wide margins in your life if you are going to be spontaneous. To have time to respond to both the delights and the demands. To be available to those who may need to lean on your shoulder for support...who need a hug, need some attention, or a little bit of love.

My commitment is to become as un-busy as I need to be so I can respond to those I love and be available to them. And that looks different to different people.

• Last night I just sat with Matt. Just sat with him. Didn't talk of offer suggestions unless he asked.
• This morning I went into Nicole's school and filled out the too many addresses for unnecessary magazine subscription solicitations so the school could get TIME for Kids.
• I helped coach Tianna's lane at swimming.

But here's the thing. All of these things take time and putting the other person first. I sat with Matt instead of getting to bed before midnight. I spent the time this morning at the school filling the addresses out. I forwent my own exercise to help Tianna. It's all a trade off, but you really can't lose (even though the culture in many ways has conditioned us not to believe that) when you put relationships first. (Oh, and to me, that is a huge part of being a Christian...putting the other person first)

But here's something funny, well, OK maybe not so funny, especially if my washing machine protests... I scooped up a bunch of towels from downstairs by the hot tub along with an empty wine glass. And put the towels in the wash. But it sounded awful. Well, I forgot to remove the wine glass and ended up using my washing machine as a rock tumbler. Out came the wet towels, out came the shards of glass. What next? (I know, I shouldn't ask).

But it is a new day. May it be filled with grace.

Announcing My New Blog!

Hey there.
If you know me at all, or have been reading here, you know I have a huge passion for outreach and social justice issues. Instead of combining the two on this blog, I have launched another blog where I will share those thoughts, and keep this one the "Stressed Out Diva Mom" blog.
The other thoughts can be read at: www.undoingchurch.blogspot.com. Feel free to drop by!
I have also been meaning to mention that I have been picked up as a parent blogger on the Empowering Parents web site. I am going to set up a button link from this site (OK not me, but my web help, who I would die without). My last post garnered like 34 comments. Took me a bit by surprise.
Oh, and I just found out yesterday that I had another story accepted into a compilation. All in all, a good day. And the new office is just about done, and very nice. Photos will follow...
Cheers!

Pat Rack Junior...

OK, here are the after photos. I have taught my daughter too well. She is a pack rat extraordinaire...She is much worse than I am. Purge is not a word in her vocabulary. I, on the other hand have little difficulty with it. Why I buy in the first place (bargains?) is another question. But today, while the girls were at school I tackled Nicole's room. Her satellite orphanage is now set up and won't be shut down by children and youth. I have purged three large garbage bags and three bins from her room. Some of her dear possessions will relocate to the storage room, some will go to Hand Up, some to a yard sale, and some to a family whose girls are the perfect size. Now, sit down before you look at the before photo...

This is what it was. Never mind finding clothes that were clean. Don't even think about coordinating matching anything. It was a nightmare, partly because it become one of the last depositories for all things Nicole that were all over the house. The Saturday Box is going to make its 2009 debut. If it is out and doesn't get put away, it goes in a Saturday box, to be reclaimed on Saturday, but only if it goes back where it belongs, otherwise it will end up at HUF, never to be re-purchased again.

I had my mom take my picture and I swear the flash did go off, but you could never tell.

I have been thinking about renaming my blog. My friend Theresa thinks it should simply be,
"Welcome to Kathy's World." I am somewhat partial to, "Living Life on the Edge Trying Not to Fall Off" and also under consideration is, "Flying Through Life by the Seat of Your Pants."

So, here are the things that could have caused me stress today, but did not:

• Nicole's room.
• My mother brought yogurt with her from NY and put it in my pantry instead of the fridge.
• A phone call from a friend giving some sage advice about financial matters that my dad needs to take care of ASAP. Only problem is, he is in London, and no one could give us the correct city code for London. I had to pay $7.95 for International Directory Assistance.
• I have been working on arranging for a visiting speaker for our church this weekend and now we are getting a foot of snow; prudently he cancelled, but I am bummed because I wanted to hear him speak (Sherman Bradley, City Gospel Mission, Cincinnati) and was having a dinner party tomorrow night. I get psyched up for these things, so it not happening is bumming me out.
• Howie is not happy that somehow the fish tank that was in what is now our shared office is taking up 25% of the surface space of his desk, and my mom is not happy that the filter is not plugged in. One frog and one sucker fish have been managing without bubbles and gold fish food for sometime now.
• My mom is a pack rat also, (what can I say, it is a family trait) and is preparing for Armageddon now in her new bedroom, storing cans of Progresso Soup under her bed instead of putting them in the kitchen.

Sigh.

So what's your vote for new blog title?

PS In trying to figure out what is the best way to go about re-booking the airline tickets (why pay a change fee when more than likely the flight will end up cancelled anyway?) I spoke with a lovely Travelocity agent in India named Balwant, and I even pronounced it correctly! Score two points for me!

Peace. And stay warm and safe, and if the snow is flying in your neck of the woods tomorrow, hunker down, bake some cookies, and pull out a game.

The Last Couple of Days...

The last couple of days have been full; very full in fact. Full of fun, full of work, and full of play. But never too full to take some photos! I think there are still some people who think my husband is a figment of my imagination. But here we are together at the Dermatology Christmas Party on Wednesday night. Wednesday kind of fell apart since we had bad weather in the morning, but it wasn't bad enough to cancel the party. Just bad enough for a two hour delay that wreaked havoc on my life. No work for me that day, which meant a super long day the next.

So after I reviewed 23 charts, which still have information to be put in sometime between now and Monday, I went to pick up Tianna at dance, and the dance teacher, Karen, loves pink even more than I do if that is possible...so what other option was there than to have a photo op in front of the pink tree with pink Santa hat no less! When I commented to my husband that I NEEDED a pink Christmas tree he immediately corrected my confusion between needs and wants...but it came from Big Lots, so there may be some after Christmas sale potential...

And then there was Friday...

I really was hoping there would be school, because I needed some quiet time at home to figure out such important matters as equality in gift giving between siblings, waiting for Matt to come home to have a quiet conversation with him, and the fact that I had a radio interview at noon that was live and would not have gone well with Nicole zooming through the house.

So I woke up and there wasn't a single flake. So I reluctantly woke Tianna up first and then thought, well maybe, just maybe I had better check the school closings and delays...

CLOSED! Yikes! I do like to hunker down with the flakes floating down but today was not one of those days. Well, it wasn't long before snow and ice came floating and pelting out of the sky.

Normally a total woosie about driving in bad weather, I packed Nicole up to take her to her friend's house, but it took close to an hour to find her appropriate snow clothes...that lead to the cleaning out of the hall closet, the aftermath of which is pictured above.

That in turn, led to a purging of my closet. I decided to clear out the things that didn't fit me...Let me just say that my closet is pretty empty...some I am storing elsewhere, some I am listing on EBay, and some with yard sale away.

That has been the last couple of days here. There are a couple of other really sweet, touching stories I want to share, but those will wait for later. I am stressing about finding two gift cards I purchased and can't find....

Fa La La...

Song of Songs: Preview of Kathy's Book...

By request, here is something I will post on Song of Songs. Thanks, Katy, for asking! This admittedly is the easy way out of putting some thoughts down on this book. I will get around to more discussion in, well, no promises...I keep either getting emails of things I want to post, real life pops up with amusing anecdotes, or a beautiful sunrise happens in my back yard and I get sidetracked...But in the meantime here is what I am posting.

Earlier this summer I got a contract with Regal to write a book called What the Bible is All About for Moms. This is the project I ran away to Roatan to work on. I completed just about the entire rough draft while I was there and it has been sitting ever since. I am just practicing what every good author's advice column recommends: let your draft sit for awhile before going back to it. So it has sat.

Even though my deadline isn't till March 1st, I am planning on wrapping it up by December 1st. That way I won't stress over the Holidays, can pace myself on preliminary work with the pregnancy book and hit the ground running January 1 with that. My deadline for that is June 15th, but I have two releases coming out this Spring: The Bible Study and Stressed Out Moms Devotions to Go, so as to not get too stressed out myself I need to keep on track...all that to say what appears below is the rough draft, untampered with for the book. Editorial comments and suggestions happily accepted!

The concept of the book is to write from a contemporary point of view with a brief synopsis of each book, snapshot from Henrietta, since this book is tied in to her work, What the Bible is All About, and on the edgy side. So the Snapshot is the book overview, and the Mama Mia section is the story. Then at the end, there are segments for applying it to today's woman with Biblical application and questions for reflection. You will notice I haven't written those yet, but just wanted to include the headings to give you a sense of the flavor of the layout. There is one chapter for every book of the Bible based on either a mom in that book, or issue that moms deal with...happy reading!


SONG OF SONGS: WHITE TEETH AND PLASTIC SURGERY

SNAPSHOT FROM HENRIETTA: Hey, hold on to your hats. There’s some pretty racy dialog in this book of the Bible, written by Solomon, who also penned Proverbs. Didn’t know the Bible could get provocative, as in chick lit romance reading? Yeah, it surprised me too. The dialog takes place between wise King Solomon and a woman from Shulam (also referred to as a Shulamite) but symbolically paints a picture of God’s love for His people. It is a wonderful portrait of personal love to Christ, which Dr. Mears calls “the greatest need of the church today” (p.217). It’s just that the writing is a bit more explicit in this particular book; at least PG-13, sometimes R. No wonder it doesn’t get much flannel board attention in Sunday School...most parents try to put off these kinds of conversations for awhile...

DR. MEAR’S SUGGESTED READINGS:
Her Synopsis: Jesus Christ, the Lover of Our Souls
Her Suggested Bible Readings:
Day One: Joyful Communion (Song of Songs 1:1-7; 2:1-7)

MOMSENSE: How many women are satisfied with their physical appearance, especially after they have had a child or two? Well, some of the passages in this racy book aren’t likely to make women feel much better. In fact plastic surgery may seem more appealing than ever after some reading…white teeth, full, red lips, a graceful neck, and supple, fawnlike breasts? The reality is a different story…

SCRIPTURE: “Your teeth are like a flock of sheep just shorn, coming up from the washing…Your lips are like a scarlet ribbon, your mouth is lovely…your neck is like the tower of David, built with elegance…Your two breasts are like two fawns, like twin fawns of a gazelle that browse among the lilies.”
-Song of Songs 4:2-5

MAMA MIA: OK, so I fully understand that I should love and accept my body just the way it is, but it was much easier to do that years ago when I was in my twenties. Even though I had had a couple of kids by then, I still seemed to be able to get back into shape.
Today I am decidedly approaching middle age, and it all just seems to be going downhill. Something happened when I turned forty, and it wasn’t pretty… My belly and hips are expanding, my boobs are sagging and my brow is starting to wrinkle. I remember one year asking for liposuction for Christmas. “I just wish I could get rid of twenty pounds between my naval and my knees…” Santa didn’t bring me liposuction (or Botox for my brow…even though I am married to a dermatologist) just clothes that were the next size up.
I recently decided enough was enough, but rather than engage in the difficult, sensible (and only successful) approach to weight loss, I succumbed to the infomercial sales pitch wooing me from the TV screen for the ten minute trainer. “Ten minutes of targeted exercise employing revolutionary stacking technology guaranteed to transform your body!” How gullible am I? It was the “ten minute” part that appealed to me. Never mind I spent much more time than that packing in the food.
The infomercial continued to seduce me into purchasing something I couldn’t believe I was considering. But just a few minutes later I was dialing 1-800…on my cell phone (because I was away from home in a hotel room and totally captivated) and found myself placing the order for the “money back guaranteed” ten minute trainer. I even opened my conversation with the very well trained phone sales gal by saying I had never, ever done anything like this ever in my life before, would she please tell me I wasn't crazy?”
Well, excuse me, what did I think she would tell me? Anything other than what I wanted to hear? But she gladly obliged and we had a delightful conversation, the entire time she continued to assure me that my impulse buy was completely guaranteed and completely refundable. So I did the unthinkable and read off my sixteen digit credit card number complete with expiration date. And I lied, I did do something like this once very long ago…at another time I also wasn't satisfied with my body. But then it was because I wished my boobs were bigger and I was duped by some breast enlargement gizmo that ended up being some pectoral muscle exercise device. There. True confessions of a frumpy model wanna be (not really).
So my ten minute trainer system arrived, and I was more than a little embarrassed and not 100% satisfied. So I did send it back and decided to do it the old fashioned way. Less consumption, more movement and increased gratitude that I am healthy.

WHAT’S A MOTHER TO DO:
LIGHTENING THE MOTHER LOAD:
MUSINGS FOR MOMS:

Comments gladly accepted. As a matter of fact, maybe I should gather an Editorial reader's panel to help make it the best it can be. It is geared to both readers who are not familiar with the Bible, to show a different than generally perceived side (like it is stodgy and has nothing to do with my real life, here and now) and those who are familiar but also like to relate it to real life.