Mother Guilt and Mr. Magorium's Wonderful Emporium

Nicole and I watched about two thirds of Mr. Magorium's Wonderful Emporium this morning. I hadn't seen it before, although I have heard bits and snatches in the car.
I probably won't synopsize adequately especially since I haven't seen all of the movie, but one of the scenes really hit me pretty hard this morning.

The main child character is a boy who is a loner and really doesn't have any friends, and he trys to engage a geeky accountant who has been brought in to evaluate this magical toy store. At any rate the boy "talks" to the adult through the glass window of the office he is working in by writing to him on placards; he basically asks him if he'd like to play checkers, but the adult says he doesn't have time, he is always working.

And those words really hit home for me, because they are almost ver batum what Nicole says to me, when I decline playing baby dolls, or try to load one more load of laundry, or whatever. But I got it this morning, before even seeing this scene from the movie. And I hope I keep getting it every day. The days she wants to sit and watch a movie with me are going to be numbered, and she's my baby...

To say my house is a mess is a gross understatement. But it has been a mess all summer and can continue to be a mess awhile longer; we sat down to watch the movie together and I didn't even do anything else at the same time. And it was wonderful. We had to pause it because I needed to go sign some papers at the bank, but Nicole came with me. But then she went off to a friend's house and the moment had passed. I am saving the rest of the movie to watch with her, and really plan to grab more of those moments and make sure I create the time to spend with her.

But I do have to admit that chaos, which would include the present state of my house, increases my anxiety level. So little by little I am trying to purge and prune. Erin (my son Chris' girlfriend) is having a yard sale in two weeks, so I can send some of the things her way, but right now I just feel like I am moving piles of things to other rooms. It was so bad in Nicole's room you couldn't find the floor. No wonder she had one white sock and one blue sock for cheer leading practice. It's a wonder she even managed to find a pair! I just feel so much better when things are where they belong. Of course, we still have way too many things...but I'm working on it.

So the next time you're too busy, try to put the chaos on pause, and grab a moment of magic with your child, or someone special. What I saw of the movie I really enjoyed.

Peace.

Fifth Grade Fun...and Bittersweet Moments

Fifth grade ended today. Finished are the elementary school years for Tianna and her friend Doaa, above. I went to the celebration yesterday, complete with cake sharing all too aware that another milestone has been marked.

So I spent some time in reflection about God's call on my life, priorities, relationships and all the emotional stuff that significant life stage events bring out.

I have to admit I am feeling a little bit down. I think our kids growing up and the realization of how fast the time here on earth goes has the ability to do that. And the realization that as parents we only have a snippet of time to help them build character before they go on to become the next generation of parents. At the moment, I am not feeling all that confident in the job I am doing, and if it has the effect of helping me to focus and build stronger relationships than it is a good thing. If it becomes a guilt ridden pity party it is not a good thing.

So there are several things that have occupied my mind that I hope to develop into habits over the course of the summer ahead.

• Grab or better yet, create moments of joy.
• Listen. Really listen.
• Becoming less of a slave and more of a servant to my girls.
• Getting up early in the morning to do the mundane but necessary chores of running a household so that they don't have to listen to a distracted, unfocused mom say, "Uhhh, just a minute" for several hours each day.
• Delegate or drop as much of the extraneous stuff as I can.

I want my girls to look back at their time with me as fun and special; not a naggy drag, which I suspect might be closer to their current assessment.

I want to honor God with the job I do as a mom to these two lovely girls He has given me; they are both miracles. One adopted from half way around the world, the other conceived after years of infertility.

May the summer be one of nurturing relationships for us all.