Losing a Parent

As you know, recently I joined the club of those who have lost a parent. It is not a club any of us wants to join, but all of us will sooner or later. And many have preceded us.

Specifically I have been reflecting on those of us in the Sandwich Generation, the generation of boomers who are sandwiched between aging parents and growing children. Most of the thoughts out there on the SG deal with caring for both groups, but another layer in the sandwich (which you may recall I recently commented on wanting to be Gourmet, if you please, rather than bologna slapped between two slices of white bread...) is those of us who have lost a parent.

I am now so much more sensitive in a way I could never have been before to my friends and peers who have already established membership in this club. Until you cross that threshold you have no idea.

No idea how to respond. How to care. How to listen. How to affirm. What to say. And the cool thing is, it is OK, because those who went before didn't know either until they joined the club.

The best we can do is then be there for the next as we weren't for the ones who preceded us. I find myself asking my friends if they have lost a parent. If they have I acknowledge their pain and apologize for not being there for them. If they haven't I encourage them to love passionately and make sure they have no regrets.

Have no regrets. Love passionately. Take time.

Peace.